Sober from drink, now what about the food?

[Magic Rabbit]

OK.... I'm an alcoholic, now 46 days sober after six weeks in rehab - YAY! - but there's still so much to be done. I'm keeping it in the day, one day at a time and keeping it simple, but one thing that worries me is my eating disorder.

I've had bulimia for 11 years (alongside anorexia for the first 5 years of that). I'm now 29. The alcoholism was destroying everything, naturally, it being a progressive disease, but the bulimia has been more important, less important, depending on my drinking. Now I'm not drinking, it's back bad.... and worse now I'm out of the structured environment of rehab - which, BTW, was the most fantastic six weeks of my life and has altered me immeasurably, for the better, too.

I've been going to AA most days but can't get to OA. I'm moving away from home soon and won't be able to get to OA meetings. The 12 step programme is working for me and I need to apply it to my eating as well.... as I've given up alcohol, a day at a time, I know I can do it, but my habits and thought processes around food are so ingrained that I don't know. I can apply step one to drinking easily - I am powerless over alcohol and my life was definitely unmanageable, but as for food.... powerless, maybe, but unmanageable? I have trouble here.

What it all boils down to is that I'm scared full-on bulimia will trigger a physiological crisis which may lead to fears of relapsing on the drink - my recovery is SOOOOO important that I can't risk ANYTHING.

I just need some support, I guess. I'm prepared to do anything to protect my sobriety and even though bulimia is a bitch, it's liveable with.... but not if it's threatening my beautiful future. I've got so much life now, new friends, new significant, *very* significant friends, hope, energy, self-esteem, peace, optimism, serenity.... and I WON'T let it all go. From October 2001 to December 2002, my life was filled with evil, negativity, the sense of being screwed into the ground, some came from me, lots came from others, others who i trusted, too; there was no hope, no life, nothing. It was black. (One wonderful friend came into my life then, so it wasn't hell 24-7, but in comparison to life after January 2nd, in particular from March 26th, it was the worst time.) Now I walk in the light, my higher power guides me, a day at a time, and my life is filled with hope and love and new beginnings. It bursts with promise and potential.

I can't let bulimia threaten that, so any words of wisdom would be so much appreciated.

Nic
x

[Paulie]

hey Nic -

((( I am sending you HUGE HUGS))). What an accomplishment you have made so far, keep taking it just one day at a time.

I am not expert, I am just a recovery addict like you taking life one day at a time and I can only share my experience, strenght and hope with you. In working yoru steps with a sponsor you will be amazed at what comes out. just take it slow and don't trip on the what ifs, stay in today.

I am so glad you are here and so glad that we are all doing this together!!!

[2stop]

Dear Nic,
You have really helped me to take a real good look at what I've been doing to myself. And I also want to say congrats on your progress. You go girl!!! I always could cover up my bulimia to doctors but it has afected me strongly. I am 31 and lost all my teeth by 29, had a hysterectomy at 26, very poor health for a long time. I have also been fighting addiction since I was ten. I have noticed these past few days as I try to sober up the thought keeps hitting me I can at least have control over my life by 1.) not eating 2.) throwing up when I binge. After reading your post I am facing the fact that I have never addressed the eating disorder seriously, always finding myself way over my haed in "other' troubles. thank you so much for sharing and please keep up the good work.
--Tammie

[natty]

You are amazing, truely amazing! You have acheived so much and are such a inspiration to me. I had missed you so much. I felt like we had just started to get closeish and you disappeared. I thought of you often and prayed that everthing was ok with you.

If you ever want to talk, I would love to. I have all the chat programs. Stay in touch now ok?

Love ya!

Nat

I'm am new here and I also, need help. I quit drugs, alcohol and lost 57 pounds and still have trouble trying to quit over eating. I go to Weight Watcher's and it took me a year and a half to loose the weight. To quit drugs and alcohol seemed easy compared to this. Boredom sets in without drugs and alcohol. (never had any friends) Husband is a serious alcoholic. Drinks 24-36 beers every day. I hate being around him sometimes. So, here I am.