Weight loss

[Biscuits]

Hi all

Just needed to share about the fact that i have started to lose weight again and feel vunerable about it. I don't particularly have alot to lose (maybe about 14 - 16 pounds) and i was comfortable with my weight but i think my HP must think its time for the last little bit of security weight to come away.

It took me a while to get used to the fact that when i came into recovery from compulsive overeating i would lose weight ( lost about 70 pounds) and it took alot of love and care from people around me to help me get over my insecurities about it.

I know that i have been praying lately to become all that God would have me become emotionally, spiritually and physically but the physical scares me.

I know that i want this but i am fearful of the reactions i will get, i know that inside i feel really good about myself and am now getting to a point where i enjoy being a woman, wearing nice clothes and sexy undies but all this is for myself and i am fearful of attracting mens attention. (Even my husband at times)

I know that this is something i have to deal with if i am truly to recover from the pain that my abuse caused me and most days i am pain free but not today. I know that this will pass and i have to trust God as he would not give me more than i can handle so i will continue to be guided by him as he has my best interests at heart.

Going to a meeting later so will find someone to share with and get some feedack from but felt like share how i was feeling before i eat my breakfast.

Love to all

XXXXXXXXXX

[Pony]

{{{{{{Biscuits}}}}}}

Sorry that you are struggling with this. I pray for your serenity with this.

[Nina Kay]

Biscuits,
I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this too, but I know that you've made a wise decision to go to a meeting and share this with others face2face and to share with us here. Keep us updated on how you're dealing with this hurdle in your recovery. ((((((((((((Caring Hugs)))))))))))))

[BigSis]

I know the feeling. I have held men at bay with my weight for a long time. It isn't that I don't trust THEM, but I didn't trust ME. I didn't want my fidelty tested... it was a big thing to me to be faithful, but I didn't trust myself. What a dillema!

It was very helpful to recognize that about me. So far, I am ok in that area.

Where I AM struggling, tho, is when people notice the weight loss.

Because SOMEWHERE in my dumb brain, I translate that "Oh, my - you are looking GOOOOOODD!! How much weight have you lost?" comment...

I translate that into: "Oh, my - you are looking GOOOOODDD!! You are so DONE losing weight!!"

Sheesh!

I am working on that part... wishing you the best!!! ((hugs))

[Neagrm]

This gives me food for thought on my own dilemmas. Thanks, Biscuits, for this post.

Big Sis, I hadn't thought of that angle before about not trusting *myself*. I don't know. I will think on it. It may apply to me, too. I know I have issues with male attention; wanting it on one hand and hating it on another. I don't know how to resolve it despite years of working on "stuff".

[Pony]

Thanks Biscuits for starting this thread and sharing your thoughts.....you too, BigSis. I see a bit of myself in both of your posts. I, too, have some fear about losing weight and can't understand it. Why..... why would I fear losing weight and looking good and being healthy. I want to be healthy. I like it when someone sayd I look good. But why would I fear it also. I do love the attention from guys, but also fear that too. I mean... it's like I sabatage my own progress when I start is really look good and get the "second glace" from some men and the good remarks about starting to really look nice. I like hearing someone tell me I am pretty, but on the same note, it's like I don't trust it either...or believe them. I have some real hang ups when it come to this stuff.... appearance.

Right now I try to focus on the health asspect of losing weight and it seems to help me get through this. But I need to work on the mental issues with losing the weight in order for me to keep it off once I get there.

thanks for sharing all.

[livefree]

I didn't read this thread until just now, but I can relate to what you describe in my own way. My ED began when I was eleven because I didn't want that womanly shape. I was uncomfortable with the idea of my body changing. It's still something I struggle with today. Like, I wish I could let go of feeling like I need to look like a pre-pubescent little girl. I look at models with womanly bodies and somehow I just think it looks great on them, but those curves would look awful on me. It's hard because I feel like once I let go of my fears and allow my body to develop, I might hate the way I look, but I'll never be able to go back.

[Neagrm]

Self-acceptance is one of the most difficult things to do I find. Our culture makes it especially difficult. I have to work at it and do a better job at times than others. Wish I had some answers and I HEAR what you've said loud and clear and identify with it.

[cali]

Biscuits-
Great post--I am amazed at how much I relate to those that suffer from the same things I do...

Nea:Self-acceptance is one of the most difficult things to do I find.

like Nea said---it's totally the biggest struggle I have going on....