New Medication

[karlee]

I was recently put on a medication for my MS..It is a newer medication out there that is for MS only..Anyway, this medication makes me want to eat all the time..
I have now gained 6 pounds...This makes me so depressed..I go between being bulimic to annorexia..People tell me that I look great and that I am not fat..That I am
just right weight for a woman my age. My neurologist tells me that I do not need to
lose weight..

Well, I believe that I am fat..I am certainly not thin..Plus, my husband tells me how I am saggy and flabby..You will tell me how much weightI have gained since we git married..I only weighed a 105 pounds when we got married..Now I weigh more than
when I had my our 6th and last child..

So. I have been eating like non-stop during the day..Then forcing myself to vomit it all up...The medication has been helping me with my MS..However, I will not take it if I continue to gain weight..

It doesn't matter if I weigh a 105 pounds or a 150 pounds..Every time I see myself in the mirror.I see a 300 pound or heavier woman..Then I feel so awful that I want to cut myself because I feel that I should be able to conrol my weight better...
Then I want to cut myself because I am angry at myself for not being able to stay off the drugs that are not prescribed to me.However, I want to take these drugs
not just to get high, but because they make me not to want to eat..

Anyway, I am very depressed about the weight gain...

[Nina Kay]

My suggestion is that you find out by averaging several weight charts for your age, height & bone build, what your ideal weight should be and try to stay at that weight range. Then you won't have to trust what you feel like or what you see in the mirror or what others tell you. You will be depending on facts and not feelings. This is just a suggestion, of course. I can understand how the weight gain can make you depressed, but maybe you can talk to your Dr. about the meds and the weight gain and how that causes your other disorders that you're dealing with, to be worsened. Maybe there's something that can be done. You never know until you ask and check it out. It also sounds like exercise for many reasons would be very important for you, but not addictive exercise. A planned out exercise program daily. Not too much and not too little. Of course, these are only suggestions. Treat yourself tenderly.
((((((((((Caring Hugs))))))))))

[karlee]

I do work out a Curves a gym that is for women.I work out 3 to 4 times weekly.

[Nina Kay]

That's great Karlee !!!! Keep it up. Walking outside has always done me the most good. I think that it's because of getting the sunshine & fresh air.

[karlee]

I get depressed because I feel that I am fat..I tried very hard to keep myself at a certain weight. Then when I gain. wieght..I feel like a failure. Then believe I look even much fatter.I do not think one can understand, unless you have an eating disorder. It is just a vicious cycle...I looked at various weight charts. My ideal
weight is 133 pounds..133 pounds to me seems to be too much weight. I would like to get down to a 110 or 120 pounds,,,

[Nina Kay]

I get depressed because I feel that I am fat..I tried very hard to keep myself at a certain weight. Then when I gain. wieght..I feel like a failure.

Karlee, I really could have written this myself. Honestly. I've been this way as far back as I can remember and I'm about to be 52 yrs. old. Believe me, I do understand how you feel, because I do have an eating disorder. I do know how much of a vicious cycle it is from personal experience. I do care about what you're going through and I do know how very hard that it is and how much it affects all areas of your life. I am short and my ideal weight according to the charts is 125, but from experience, I feel much better physically at 115. That is and always has been my goal weight. I do understand what your saying here too, but if I'm understanding you correctly, you still feel fat and see yourself as fat even if you were to weigh 110 to 120, right?! That's really what I meant about the charts. I meant for you to have a factual number that you knew was not fat for you, no matter how you would see yourself in the mirror or how you would feel about yourself. I was thinking that this way you would have a visible goal number and when you got to that number, you could tell yourself that you were at a healthy good weight, no matter what your eyes or mind saw. That's all that I was suggesting. These were just suggestions karlee, I promise. If I had all of the answers already, I wouldn't still be fighting an eating disorder, myself. Please know that I'm just trying to make some suggestions to help you and support you and encourage you, just as I need that from you and others here. (((((((((((Understanding Hugs))))))))))))

[BigSis]

So. I have been eating like non-stop during the day..Then forcing myself to vomit it all up...

It doesn't matter if I weigh a 105 pounds or a 150 pounds..Every time I see myself in the mirror.I see a 300 pound or heavier woman..

Karlee - I hope you can reread these two quotes and see that what you are DOING is not getting you what you WANT.

In my experience, that means I have to change what I am DOING.


Are you willing to do that?

[Toomutch]

Karlee,

If you are purging your food and having distorted body images; may I suggest seeking help for an eating dissorder.

January 9th my 13 year old daughter was put into the hospital weighing 77 pounds and 5'7". She remained hooked up to heart monitors in critical care for 13 days and was then put into an inpatient program for 3 months. She is doing better now; but still sees a heavy girl when she looks in the mirror.

It is beyond comprehension for people who do not know how terrifying eating dissorders can be. I want you to know although I have not personally gone through this; I do understand; because I have watched my sweet, sweet angel go through it.

Love,

~Toomutch