Crazy thoughts

[Biscuits]

Hi all

Sorry haven't been around much this week but jet lag caught up with me and i've been too tired to do much. Reading posts and getting lots of recognition lately which is good, it reminds me while i am here and lets me not forget that at times i am still insane.

Take yesterday, i went to give blood at 1.00pm so i didn't have any lunch (never do before giving blood) the session ran late due to the nurse not arriving on time and i didn't get back to work until about 2.15pm and i convinced myself that i didn't need to eat the lunch i had packed as i would be having my dinner around 5.30pm.

My desease is so cunning that when i got home i found myself feeling elated that i hadn't had lunch and thoughts started in my head about being able to survive on two meals a day instead of my healthy three. I found myself changing my food plan and preparing a smaller meal for myself than i normally would for dinner. Thank God i have a husband who challenges my behaviour because he noticed how small my meal was and commented on it and i instantly told him about my crazy thoughts - he is a great guy and the product of a twelve step upbringing. I then had chance to analyse what i had eaten during the day to discover that i had if i did not increase my dinner i would only be eating around 500 calories, great for the anarexic head i had on at the time but not for the healthy person who i have become since joining OA.

This only serves to show me that my deasease is only looking for a crack in my armour to break through. I went to my meeting and shared my crazy thoughts, the more i share about them the less power they have over me.

Anyhow must dash, got to get to work.

Luve and hugs to everyone

[Pony]

Thanks for coming and sharing this with us before dashing off to work. It's funny, I am a compulsive overeater....using food as a emotional drug, but I could also relate to some of that crazy thinking you talked about. There are times that my schedule gets crazy and I don't end up eating through the day. There have been days that I only had one meal and maybe a little snack of some sort....like friut or some crackers, and thinking at the end of the day...... like priasing myself for not eating all day and only having the one meal, dinner.

It's not healthy thinking, that's for sure, but I have had thoughts along those lines.

It's wonderful that your hubby is such a wise and understanding guy. You did good by going to your meeting and talking about it. That's how we change things.