Husband

[karlee]

My husband has been talking to a female coworker about my issues.
When I told him this upsets me and that I feel this is wrong. He gets mad at me and says he is not doing anything wrong and that I am just being way too sensitive etc.... Is what he doing wrong? This female coworker used to be a nurse. So, he feels it is okay..Plus, whatever this woman tells him about rasing our kids is right..However, my opinions of raising or kids is wrong or he will not even listen to me..I beginning to feel that he thinks this woman is his wife..I know that he hasn't slept with her..However, I feel he has a emotional attachment to her that is like a wife and husband...I am feeling so betrayed..I wouldn't mind if he had talked to a close male friend about these things.

I have talked to female friends about issues I have had with him..However, to talk to someone of the opposite s*x about such things feels so wrong..I have binged and purged the last 2 days...I feel that my husband behavior has something to do with this..I just feel so very fat and ugly..If he was talking to a female doctor or couselor this would be different. Would you be angry about this? I feel that in a way he is cheating on me by doing this...

I am just so tire of him getting angry at me for things he does wrong. He is always twisting things around and making me feel guilty for his bad behavior..
He is always quick at pointing out all my wrongs and he is so perfect..He is always right no better what and I am always wrong..I get too scare to really push any issue with him..I just do not know how much more of this I can take. I feel him talking to this female coworker is just another way of him being emotionally abusive to me..Then again, perhaps it's just me...

Yesterday, I smelled gas. I had asked my husband to check the problem out. He said that it was something we couldn't afford to fix for a few months. I told him it had to be fix now because it could kill us..He refused to looked into the problem.Finally, I told him fine but me and the kids were going to my parents until it was fix..Then he decided to check the problem out. It was
our stove and was easily fixed..The thing that scares me was that he seemed to not care, if this would kill me or the kids.He has said things in the past and has reacted the same way in other issues in the past..Lately, he has been saying that I have been stealing his money or that he should just take his money and leave us. He had even complain so much about me wasting his money on medical and such and told me that he couldn't afford my antidepressants. That I went off them which was big mistake. I stopped taking one seizure medication because it costs $50 a month and my husband felt that it was too much.

I just do not know what to think anymore..I am thankful that he is a hard worker and willing to support his family.However, I feel like he does it because he feels obliged to do so and not because he cares or loves me and the kids..like it would be an embarrassment to him if he didn't..He is mad at me because my dad has said some things to him. Anyway, he will not help me with the kids, housework, yardwork, and so on...I have pretty much been a single parent, since we had our first child except for the fact that he does provide me with money...I do not feel loved and protected from my husband like a wife should feel..

[BigSis]

I am thankful that he is a hard worker and willing to support his family.

Can't you get this same thing by living back with your parents for a while?

I don't get it ... he sounds incredibly abusive. Are you willing to go into marriage counseling ... even without him to try to save your marriage?

Is he willing to go to marriage counseling?

What sort of life does Karlee want?

[karlee]

I do not know what I want...I do love my husband very much...Plus, my religion states that I should stay unless my husband actually cheats...I am having doubts and thinking that my preacher and such are wrong...I just do not know what to think. My husband has a way of twisting things around and I get so very confused..I know that I have my own issues and am not the wife that I should be...I am trying so hard to be a wife like I should be...I know that my husband has been under a lot of pressure lately..He always acts like this when over stressed. There has been many issues that has hit us the past few months..Then again, my husband has always had an anger issue of which he has always blame me for it...We will be married for 23 years this August..I am just not sure if I have the strength to continue in such a marriage that I am in now...I have people tell me that he is abusive...However, again I do not know what to think...I am not exactly the easiest person to live with...My mind is so confused...I just want to get so drunk or so high that I do not have to think about anything anymore...

I have tried to encourage my husband to go to couseling at least through our church..He believes all our problems are my issues...However, he too has his own addictions/strongholds..My husband has gone a few times to church..Then decided not to go anymore because he didn't like what the preacher preach. Which was mainly men's responsibilties and such..

The director of the addictions/strongholds program at my church told me that he would talk to my husband. My couselor from the church said that
some men from the church should confront my husband about his behavior..
I am afraid that this would only make things worse. My husband reads his Bible almost daily and confesses to be a Christian. I was told that if he is a Christian as he states. Then he should be willing to listen to the men from church...In fact they said it was the church men's duty to confront another man, if they have fallen...I just do not know...I do know things has gotten to get better. I am just not able or willing to be the naive quiet wife anymore and let things go...Everytime I just let him get away with such behavior it is like he kills a part of my soul...I can't explain it...

I do not want to put my parents in such a situation. Plus, they can be very difficult to get al0ng with...They have many health problems and in daily pain. This causes them to be very cranky at times espeically with kids..

[Jwife22]

Honey--

To me, abuse is worse than cheating. You are in a bad situation and to me, if I am reading this right, it seems that he has got some serious issues of his own that he is trying to make you believe are your fault. Manipulation is not a healthy part of a marriage.

You are in a tight spot and I'll pray for you.