Help

[renee18]

I am so stress. I am so upset, I am so angry at life.

When stressed I eat and I consumed so much food in the past week that it is when crazy to think about.

School and crap and I hate this this all I can't even put into words right now what I am feeling.

[Nina Kay]

Shana, have you tried just getting a pen and paper right when you're so upset and just writing everything that comes to mind and just keep writing and writing. You'll be surprised how it works. I did it while I was real real upset once. I wrote so hard and fast that I was tearing the page and it couldn't be read for bad writing, but Ikept on writing and after a long time I started to notice that my writing was getting clearer and clearer and I wasn't writing so hard and angrily. I was writing just what I thought and felt without thinking about it or trying to make any sense. I knew that no one would ever read it because I tore it up immediately after so I could just be perfectly honest no matter what awful things I was feeling or thinking. It works. It really does. I'm so sorry that you're so upset. I always wished that I could just take off running as fast as my legs would carry me, instead of eating so much when I got to feeling so upset. I know that it wouldv'e been a healthier outlet, but I was always scared to go running by myself, so I never gave into that impulse. Maybe you're not scared and you can replace your outlet.

I really do care about what you're going through and I wish that I knew the answers for you, but I know that it will help you to feel free to vent away here. Just keep coming here and talking and I think that things will get alot better, anyway. ((((((((((((Caring Hugs))))))))))))))

[Pony]

Shana, Nina has a really great idea there....would have suggested it myself, but she beat me to it.

sorry that you having a bad night.....sending really huge hugs

{{{{{{{{{{{Shana}}}}}}}}}}}}

[renee18]

Thanks guys for listening to me

Today is a better day I had counseling this morning and it helped a lot to get things out in the open.

I have a D- in my history class and I am stressed about that so I am going to meet with my professor.

thanks for listening to me ramble. I will start to write in my journal again it helps a lot thanks Nina and Pony

[renee18]

Right now I am so tired and i am sick once again well really I have been sick since being back from Ireland. I am so sick of being sick. Every time I eat I do not feel good. I have a test tomorrow and I just can't focus right now. I just want to sleep but I need to study and finish things up for tomorrow. I am just at a lose for things right now. My mom and me talked today and I am staying at college this summer to get more classes in and my mom said it was fine. now today when I talked to her she was like how are you going to pay for that. well I have a job. How have I paid for everything else. I have done it on my own. I wish she would leave me a lone and let me live my own life. I just have so much going on in my head right now.


Thanks for listening to me vent again it helps so much

[Pony]

{{{{Shana}}}}

[renee18]

good morning. Today is a little better day for me. I got to sleep a little more last night then nights before. I am still a little upset with my mom, bu again I am an adult and need to do what is best for me which is hard when you have your parents questioning everything you do. I feel okay about taking my test today in history. I studied and i Have to let it go at that. I just need to realize that i need to stop and breathe and things will work out. I am so grateful for friends God has put in my life including all oyu guys here

love

[Nina Kay]

Hi Shana,
I'm glad to hear that today is some better. I know that it's surprising what a difference that it makes for me in about every way there is, when I get enough sleep.
I am a parent of grown children with a fault finding Mom of my own too, and I'll tell you honestly that I've learned that all parents are like that about questioning every thing that their kids do. It is annoying and I need to remember that when I do it to my grown kids. You are right that you are an adult now and that you do just have to do what is best for you. We and our lives are never quite like what our parents believe they are anyway, so we just have to listen to what they tell us with a wise ear and use what they say that is helpful and just nod and agree with the rest, then go on to live our lives in the best way for us that we know how. It took me alot of years to learn to do that with my parents and to not let them offend me or upset me so much. It's a learning process.

I'm glad to hear that you feel okay about your test. I'm sure that you did your best and it'll turn out just fine. I'm glad that you've been coming here to share alot more lately. I like it. Take care of you and try to not take life so seriously, like Rule 62, 63 or 64 of AA. LOL !!! I can't remember which number but I like it, because I tend to take every little thing so seriously and it stresses me out so much and life is way too short for that.

[renee18]

Thank Nina Kay. I am hanging in there. I went out with friends tonight to Applebees and I had an okay time. The boy I liked was there andhe sat with us lol. THe test did not go good but I studied and I am okay with it it is just that this is the second time I Have taken this class and i ma still failing it so it is frustrating. I am glad i am coming here more too. It helps. I will try and come here more often from now on.

[BigSis]

Hi renee ... just wanted to give ya hug ....so (((HUGS!!!)))



I saw this in one of your posts...

Every time I eat I do not feel good.

Is this a physical "not feel good"? Or a "I overate and am feeling guilty and angry" not feel good?

The reason I ask is because in my experience, I always ate when I didn't feel well... my stomach would hurt, so I would eat. Recently, I did that over the course of several days and then got worse and worse. Turned out I had a blocked bowel.... an extremely UNpleasant experience.

It turned out to be not serious, but looking back, I can see that the spasms (or whatever they are) had been happening off and on for a while... I would eat, then just feel "not too good" for a while. But I was (am) so out of touch with my body, that I didn't relate the 'not feeling good' with having just eaten.

You might want to stop by the docs and get a physical. Can't hurt... might help.

And I can so identify with that mom-thing. I am the original "my kids need to be perfect so I can be perfect" mom. Through my other program, I am beginning to make some amends. I hope your mom can move away from this behavior soon herself.

(((hugs)))) Hope today goes well.