question

[renee18]

Why do we think that worth is determined byt how we look on the outside? I don't even remember where I got this from, but i have believed it for many years like 15. JUst wanting some feedback is all

Shana

[Nina Kay]

Shana,
I wanted you to know that I'm not ignoring your question, but I don't really know how to answer you. I do know that alot of our feelings about that is just natural. It starts out when we're little. People tend to notice you more and treat you better if you look good. I know that I feel better about myself if I look good or when I'm slimmer. I think that we just get those emotions all confused with our self worth because we feel good when we look good. As we all know now, it has nothing to do with our worth, but without thinking too deeply about it, that's how we automatically think. I feel that we just have to get in the habit of reminding ourselves how little our outside looks have to do with our worthiness. One has absolutely nothing to do with the other. I'm sorry that I really couldn't answer you, but I know that there will be some others that will come along and share their wisdom on this subject. I'll be interested to hear what others have to say about this.

[renee18]

Nina Kay. It is okay. just something I have been questioning myself on so I thought I would put it here.

I don't want food to be my enemy anymore but right now it is and have to deal with everything just one day at a time. To get through

[Pony]

Shana

To answer your question........ from the media. If you go back in time and look at old classic adds and magazines, the pressure that has been put on women to look a certain way and act a certain way to be appealing to men and the general social society is immense. Much of what Nina said is true, it is human nature is be drawn to what an individual finds appealing. And everyone is different in what they find attactive to them. I feel that it still holds true today, it's just much harder for one to truely accept what they, themselves find attractive, is it does not measure up to what society has projected as attractive.

In the renaissance period, women with big hips and a pooch in the tummy area were depicted as beautiful. Not many of them wore makeup or has large breasts. Men looked to those types of women as being hardy healthy women who could bare children and be strong enough to raise them. Thin frail women were tossed aside as week and undesirable.

As time has gone by society has somehow decided that women should be more on the show piece side of things as fashion grew and things like Movies and television and modeling came into play. Advertising and other such media set the standard of what beauty is and what sells the product. It's all superficial and none of it has to do with what is inside a person's heart and how they act towards others.

Does this help some, Shana.... I have wonder all these things myself over many years of not looking like "what is acceptable" and being tease and called names and being described as "the fat one" in a group of people and being passed over for the more attractive female in social settings.