Lonely

[renee18]

Since coming back from Ireland I have been feeling lonely and a little depressed. I have been eating more then I should. Anything with sugar I eat it. today I have had way too much sugar and junk. and the thing is I still want more.

I don't understand what is going on right now with me. I feel lonely but I don't want to be around others. Does that make any sense to anyone? It doesn't to me.

Ireland was amazing and I learned a lot about myself.

[Nina Kay]

Hello Shana,
I guess that I haven't been paying close enough attention, because I didn't remember you saying that you were getting to go to Ireland. I have always been interested in going to Ireland, but I would be so afraid to ever do that because of the political unrest there. I would love to hear anything that you might be willing to share about your trip to Ireland.

I am really sorry to hear that you are going through such lonliness and depression. I've experienced those emotions alot in my life. They are very hard to deal with. Eating is how I've always dealt with negative emotions. I don't ever seem to know what else to do with myself when dealing with these feelings. I just want you to know that I truly understand how hard this is.
As far as eating sugar, I always want more, more, more and the more I eat of it, the more I crave. That's why I have to completely abstain from obvious sugar. As soon as I get the taste in my mouth, I don't seem to know when or how to stop. At first, I had to just throw anything like that out of my house and then not go around it at all. I couldn't let myself see it, touch it or smell it. I had to steer clear of anywhere that I thought that sugar might be, because I wasn't strong enough to say no to myself. But the longer I went without putting it in my mouth, the less I craved it and the stronger I got at resisting it. I hope that you can find a way to break it's grip on you for now.

I do understand about being lonely but not wanting to be around anyone either. Of course, that is the depression causing you to want to isolate yourself. So the lonliness is making the depression worse and then the depression makes the lonliness worse and so goes the snowball effect. All I could ever do when it came to dealing with this problem is to make myself determine exactly how I was going to break this cycle at some point. That usually ends up with having to make myself get out where other people are. The best way for me was to get myself to a 12 step meeting. For me, that would be Alanon or Overeater's Anonymous. I would just go there and sit and listen and then I'd have to go again and again until the cycle was broken. And yes, it's a whole lot easier said than done. That's for sure. Just know that I care and understand. Come back here as often as you can and just talk about whatever you want to and it'll help.
(((((((((((((You're not alone, HUGS))))))))))))))

[renee18]

Thanks so much Nina Kay. I do the more sugar I eat the more I want. I just don't know when to stop. Going to a meeting sounds like a great idea. I havent been to an Al-Anon meeting in almost three weeks because of going to Ireland. I need one. I got out of my room and went and made smoothies for my friends and now I am back. I am just feeling a little down and stress with school crap.

Ireland.

I went to Belfast Ireland on a missions trip last week. It was amazing. Yes the politics there had a big affect on our week. Belfast is were most of the conflict was and still is today. We stayed right by the peace wall. it was a long week but i learned so much about myself being there. I am stronger then I think as a person and God really streched my emotional, spiritually and physically on this trip and i made it through all of it.

I hope one day you get to go to Ireland. You need to see it so you can understand it I think. I'll try and pm you a picture if I can get it to work.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better eating day.

thanks

[Pony]

Hey there Shana girl.....Glad to see ya here. Sorry that you are having a tough time. I, too, have been in the lonely catagory and also pushing myself away from others. Thanks for coming here and sharing this. I haven't really even been posting here.......reading, but not posting. So I had to reply to you and say thanks. I have had alot of crap going on at my work which has made me feel that I just didn't want to be around people and yet I am a very social person....so that has made me feel alone and not much for reaching out....even here. I tend to isolate and I know it isn't good, but I still do it. I guess as some osrt of punishment to myself to whatever it is that is so wrong that others have to be so cruel towards me..... ( no one here has been cruel....this is all work related).

Anyway, I am so glad to hear that you had a chance to go to Ireland....I want to go there someday as well. Oh, and hey, I want pictures.....lol...you have my email...lol !!!!!

Yes, you are a very strong person. I know at times you do not know that, but you are. You have some through so much. You are a college student !! That's a whole lot there. You keep going each and every day. And you are a child of God..... from which comes your strength.

Don't isolate yourself girl. Take some alone time for you, but also get out among those that make you feel good also.

Hugs

[Neagrm]

Hi, Renee. Often after a big trip or significant event like that, I have a few days/week of fatigue or depression. I think part of it for me is a natural physical relaxation after all the excitement and my mind and body just needs a break to recoup and refresh.

Things like you've experienced are great experiences, and they do require a lot of energy apart from our normal/everyday life. It's like the body and mind need some catch-up time. This isn't unusual, in fact it's a common experience after such times. I wouldn't worry too much unless it continues much more than a couple weeks or so. Then you might want to discuss it with your doctor and/or talk with good friends for some extra support.

Be kind to yourself and rest up. Sounds like a wonderful trip! I'd love to hear more about it, too.

[renee18]

Thanks everyone for you comments. today is a little better day for me. I am just tired and hungry all the time. Today is a day that I hate food. I am not sure why I am eating everything but then again maybe it is because I want to ask this boy to talk and coffee. who knows.

thanks for listening

[renee18]

Today is a feeling fat day for me. I have consumed a lot of junk today again. I wish I could just eat the food my body needs instead of using food for my emotions. none of my friends at school understand and I get tired of feeling left out. My friends the other night went to a movie and then they went to the mall. I did not go because last time I went I was depressed for days with being with women in a store trying on clothes. So I isolate myself from activities like this because emotional I can't handle them yet and two because then my friends can have fun without them having to deal with me. Today that hit me hard. I just want to be a college student and get good grades. I am tired of dealing with food and emotional issues.

rough day

[Nina Kay]

I wish I could just eat the food my body needs instead of using food for my emotions.

Well Shana, I really hear you on this. That would be a dream come true. I'm sure that all of us that come here to the ED forum feel this way. I'm sorry that you're going through a really rough time, but I thought what Neagrm said was very wise. Please just be patient with yourself for a while until you get rested up and settled down from your trip. I really do hate that you're having to struggle with this problem while you're still so young. Just keep coming back here often and let us go through this with you and I hope that you'll seriously consider finding some OA meetings to attend.
(((((((((((((((Caring Hugs))))))))))))))))

[Pony]

{{{{Shana}}}}

this day will pass

[renee18]

Thanks guys. I know I am not alone and that people understand me here.

thanks