I just can't stop

[Aysha]

Ok where do I start. I am a crack addict and a food addict. If I am not getting high I am stuffing myself till it hurts. I have gained almost 100 lbs in the past 5 years. I use to weigh no more than 150 and now I am topped out at 250. I gained all this weight smoking crack and eating like crazy. It's nuts. How many crackheads you know of get fat. And I use to smoke all day everyday. But coming down I would sleep and eat non stop for days at a time. I mean 2 or 3 whole meals in a 24 hour period. Most of it sleep eating because I would be up 4 or 5 days getting high. I go to treatment next week for my drug addiction. But what do I do about the food??? It seems it replaces the drugs to comfort me. I hate the way I look and I am so tired of being out of breath from just tieing my shoes. I use to have a banging body until the drugs. I know I will never get that body back but I need to drop alot of weight for my health. Any thoughts.

[TheGirlInside]

Hi Chiynita,

Welcome. The first thought I had is that while you are in treatment, to concentrate on the drug addiction. Trying to work different programs at the same time (for me) could get to be overwhelming and feel like failure rather quickly.

I topped out at 242 a few years back, and was depressed beyond reason. I kept thinking I was thinner than what I actually was, until I saw a disgusting picture of myself at Christmas (with a huge "Santa" gut...ugh!!).

A friend gave me the Atkins book, and I lost 35 lbs. rather quickly on that (and stayed there). But, I keep that uggo picture around, to remind myself that I will never look like that again. I've lost probably 10-15 more pounds in the three years since then, and have replaced the super fat picture with another picture of myself at slightly more than I am now...that helps me better than keeping a picture of a cute, skinny, younger me, which just seems to reinforce how much extra fat I really do have.

For me, the best motivator is progress. As long as I can see some progress (even if it's not weight loss or looser clothing), like feeling more energetic, happier, less winder, more flexible, feel a couple muscles underneath the fat...that encourages and inspires me.

Know that while you're in treatment, you're being thought about, and please check back in to SR when you can.

[Nina Kay]

chiynita,
Welcome to the Eating Disorders Forum of SR. I'm glad that you found us here. I have to agree with Kari, that focusing on recovering from your drug addiction first would probably be wise. Maybe the other will just fall into place when that's taken care of. It would be way too overwhelming to deal with both at the same time, it seems to me.

I hope that you'll keep coming back here though as you have oppportunity. I'd love to hear how things are coming along for you, as you go through the recovery process. It sounds like you're headed it the right direction.