Unusual Eating Disorder - My [brief] Story - feedback please?

[mina86]

Hello everyone,

I'm going to try to make this simple and short cause I know how hard it is to read this huge block of a paragraph and get interested. And because I can write a lot about this!!

I just recovered from the stomach flu. I am having a very hard time getting back to eating. Well, I'm struggled with this for a long time. It started when I was in 2nd grade and got really sick. It took over 2 weeks for me to resume eating again. Same thing happened about 3.5 years ago when I suffered from depression due to a break up.

Well, its happening again and I'm having a very hard time eating. My stomach and my brain and very confused. I'm a very picky eater to begin with, so I normally don't eat much and it takes me a while to determine what I want to eat.

Everyone's heard this, I'm sure: "Some people live to eat. Some people eat to live." I'm without a doubt a person that eats to live. If I had a choice, I wouldn't eat at all, but I know I have to in order to live.

I want to eat, I want to get back to normal. I want to learn to control and prevent this so I don't fall into this funk for not being able to eat.

I fight gagging and tears when I get hungry because I just get sick at the thought of food. It isn't a weight or image based disorder, which is why it is so unusual. I am just not a huge fan of food. It is more of a chore than anything else.

Anyone that can provide any help, answers, feedback, quesitons, concerns, and stories - please post replies.

Thank you!!
Samina [20/f/CA]

[Nina Kay]

Samina,
I just want to say Welcome to the Eating Disorders Forum and to Sober Recovery, as a whole. I really don't know what to say to you other than that, at this time, but I know that others who are more knowledgable will be along later. I do hope that you'll keep coming back here as often as possible. I would also like to suggest that you read the Stickys at the top of this page. There is alot of information there, about all kinds of Eating Disorders and other relevant information too. I know that there was someone else who posted recently that has a problem alot like yours, so don't feel like you're alone in this, okay?! I'll come back later to check on this thread to see how you're doing and if you've gotten any good responses. Talk to you soon.
((((((((((Welcome Hugs)))))))))))

[mina86]

Hi Nina,

I looked through here for just a few minutes before posting my thread. I saw your name a lot. Are you a patient (correct me on the right term to use here) or a supporter? Just liked to know where you're coming from.

Thanks for the great welcome, too. I don't feel alone. I know there must be at least someone else out there like me... but I do feel the majority when it comes to types of eating disorders because it isn't a common thing since it isn't body image or weight related. And I'm sure it is extremely misunderstood.

I know my case is not severe like a lot of people out there, but I am just trying to find out information.

May I also mention, to everyone, that I am hypothyroid so some people may like to link my eating disorder to that. Although I was hyperthyroid so I've been on both sides of the spectrum, they both cause eating issues. One is over eating and one is under eating. I doubt my thyroid is to blame though.

Anyway, like I said, I can really ramble on about this stuff once I get talking about myself.

Thanks!
Samina

[Nina Kay]

Hi again Samina,
I am a compulsive overeater and all around food addict. So I guess you'd say that I have the extreme opposite problem as yours. One thing that I do know, is that either extreme is very unhealthy. They are both eating disorders and we both need to work on our recovery to save our lives. Food certainly has the upper hand where we're both concerned. Even though I do have an eating disorder, I do want to also be a supporter. I am here for you, too. By the way, I would love it if you would talk all you can about, everything to do with your eating disorder and yourself. We call that sharing your experience, strength & hope, or sharing your ESH. We would love to get to know you better. Keep coming back.

[mina86]

Its hard cause sometimes I wish I liked food more. Both extremes are dangerous to your health. I guess it falls under the category "You always want what you can't have." Like I want straight hair but I have ugly wavy hair. So you spend $120 on a nice hair straightener and 30 minutes after every shower and bam! Straight hair. Not natural, but you've got what you want temporarily. So how I do, temporarily or not, learn to like food more? That is the question!

Wow, who knew I had that in me.