Overwhelmed

Hi, Everyone.

I haven't written in a few days. I need to get into the swing of recovery again. I was abstinent about 6 years ago, then had two lovely daughters, and somewhere along the way, lost my abstinence and my ability to make Program the most important thing in my life. Today, I completely forgot about the meeting I wanted to attend until it was over! I am very grateful for this forum, though. Even though I missed the meeting, I can still connect here. And it's good to write things out, sometimes.

One thing this forum keeps reminding me is that part of recovery is about getting at the root of the problem. Alot of issues have been coming up for me the last week. Thank goodness I have a counselor to talk to, but sometimes I even feel I'm addicted to couseling. My husband once said they should have meetings for people who are addicted to meetings (he's a funny guy). But his point was well-taken. Once an addict, always an addict, and I can get addicted to anything!

I find meditation and yoga and meetings and exercise and drinking water and a good diet all help me, but sometimes I just don't want to do what I know I should. Lately I have literally had images in my head of beating myself over the head with a club (talk about beating oneself up). I need to get back to the meditation on a daily basis and replace the negative images with positive ones.

God Bless.

Love, LPM

[firefly]

Hello LPM,

Roots are very hard to root out . Sometimes I think of mine looking like an old oak tree. I keep finding myself surprised when I'm able to trace just one all the way to its conclusion, or, back to its beginging, as the case may be.

It sounds to me like you know what works for you. It also sounds like you're VERY overwhelmed right now, and, that you've been out of certain habits for a while. It might be helpful to pick just one, meditation, yoga, meetings, exercise, drinking water, or a good diet, and focus on developing that one thing only. Any one of these things can be a very tall order when you're out of practice, and, taking them ALL on all at once may shut down progress. Once you've started focusing on that one thing, and have a little practice, you could add more. As a couple of people here have pointed out, sometimes, it's moment to moment.

Peace and joy,

firefly

Thanks for the words of wisdom Firefly. Actually, I did meditate this morning, and it was like an old friend. I think you are right. I get overwhelmed and beat myself up when I'm not doing everything perfectly. Some weeks I do some of everything, but I never seem to manage all of everything, then I feel like a failure. Maybe if I can celebrate one success at a time, the rest will follow. Thanks.

God Bless.
LPM

[katherine]

Be gentle with yourself. Any of the many things you listed are ways of taking care of yourself. Give yourself some credit.