Back from the vacation from H***

I gained twenty pounds hate every thing on me.. My oldest daugther did not come home with me as she decided to stay with her grandparents.. My ex- father in law ( still really close to) is dying.. My husband is leaving in one month and will be gone for 9 months .. SO I headed straight to the poker machines and am sooo lost and hating every minute of my life right now.. I just want to hide away forever and never come back..

Chey

[Pray_Lady]

Dear Chey, I'm sorry things are so hard right now!

I'm wondering, are you taking time to cry about some of the things going on in your life? Do you have an outlet for your grief - a friend, a meeting, a pastor, a journal?

Will be praying for you. God bless, Pray Lady

[jjaa]

Hi Chey! I have been reading some of your earlier posts and I was just wondering if you have tried OA and GA for the eating and gambleing. Isn't addction a bitch! I have several addictions and can relate to the feelings in all your posts about feeling fat.
I have been really skinny and really fat and neither of them made me happy. I always felt like I wasn't good enough, or thin enough.
That's part of my disease.I am still struggling to stop beating up on myself everyday. God Bless, JJ

[firefly]

Hey Chey,

As warped as this may sound,I think it's important to remember in all this that you're in pain, or you wouldn't have reached out to a behavior you know is bad to ease your mind from other stuff. Sometimes we forget that, believe it or not, relapse is a step in the process. Several slips in different areas all at once are big things to look at all together. One is enough. It might be good just to look at one area for now, food or gambling. The key is to realize a few slips don't have to end up months of relaspe, with all new things gone. One of my favorite sayings is " Take that stick from outta your hand and stop hitting your self up side your head." It's one of my favorite sayings cause I'm an expert at self destruction; I'm working at being an expert on self care. As bad as things are right now, you are here, and 'talking;' that's a start.

Peace and blessings,

firefly