Holiday blues

[renee18]

Over the past 7 almost 8 years I have dealt with my eating disorder. I am have fought it, I have it it take over I have let it control my life. Right now it is the holidays and it ishard for alot of people around the holidays. My grandpa brady passed away five years ago this is my 6th Christmas without him. My other grandpa is in a nursing home and is doing ok he has fluid on his lungs again. My cousin has cancer and it has spread a little, but has not gotton any bigger since the radiation and chemo and she is still doing chem but if this round does not work they said she would have 6 months or so. She is only 33 years old. We are close. My aunt and uncle want everyone together for Christmas because this might be the last Christmas together with my cosin or maybe my grandpa or anymore for that matter and my parents are making a problem out of it and it makes me sad that we might not all be together for one ofr Christmas.

Eating has been on a rollor coaster ride from hell. sometimes I care sometimes. THe games in my head suck. Eat don't eat Then I binge and binge and eat junk because I am either stress scared or upset.

I have lost 15 pounds since this summer but i want to lose more and more not ot just be healthy sometimes but to just be thin. But sometimes i do want to do it to be healthy. I am just really emotional and having a hard time dealing with the holidays.

love,
Shana

[Nina Kay]

Shana,
I'm so sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time dealing with the Holidays this year. For different reasons, I too, am having a hard time dealing with the Holidays. I wish there was something that I could say to help you, but I really don't know of anything. I can tell you that I care about what's happening in your life. I will pray for you to receive the strength and comfort that you will need to get through this and for your family. You and your family will be in my thoughts.

Eat don't eat Then I binge and binge and eat junk because I am either stress scared or upset.

What you said here describes how I used to be and what I did about it was to come here regularly to read and to post. I went to Overeater's Anonymous meetings regularly. I bought and read the OA literature that is available at all of those meetings. I got an OA sponsor. I just kept on keeping on until it all clicked with me. I'm not doing perfectly well with my recovery program, but I'm doing enough better that I don't do the bingeing anymore. I don't eat sugar, aspertame or drink sodas anymore and that has made a miraculous difference in my physical & mental health. I don't have the cravings that I used to, so I don't have to have that continual argument with myself about whether to eat or don't eat.

I've also found that if you journal everything that you put in your mouth, whether eating or drinking and what your emotional state was when you ate it, it really helps alot in many ways.

It's also true that if you will write yourself a plan for eating each day, that is possible to maintain, then stick to it, you will not have to have that mental turmoil of whether you should eat or not.

These are just some thoughts. Just some things for you to consider. I also think that maybe it would be a good idea if you could just forget about your Eating Disorder and try to relax and let it go just until you get through the Holidays, since you've already got so much stress.

Maybe you could just start visiting the online OA meetings that Pony has given a link to in the Stickys, just to listen and learn after the Holidays and then maybe you could look for some OA meetings in your area to check out.

Hang in there, Shana. You are definitely not alone with your struggle.
(((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))

[renee18]

Thank you so much. your words give me encouragement in this rough time that I am going through. Journaling does help me a little bit and I have been ding it but writing down what I am going to eat sounds like a good idea for me and see if I can stick to that.

Thanks for your thoughts
love,
Shana

[Nina Kay]

Hey Shana, how are you doing today?

[elizabeth1979]

Hey Shana,
I struggle with food and the holidays too. Journaling works for alot of people, I second that suggestion!

For me, getting control over other areas of my life, allowed me to be more able to not obsess over food. My control issues or lack of control issues, are often a reflection of other areas in my life. Thats just me though .

Hope you are feeling ok today

[renee18]

Thanks guys. I am doing better today. I am hanging in there. It is getting a little bit easier. I have a lot of support and family that love me to pieces

love,
Shana

[Pony]

Count me in there too Shana. Hugs