A newbie, my recovery

Hi everyone, my name is laurie, and I'm new to this forum, so I'm not sure what to say. I have a very very long history with anorexia and bulimia, and though I have a few years recovery from those problems, this is the first time I have been totally free of all chemicals, behaviors etc., and I am currently battling what I call my recovery weight battle(I am about 65 pounds overweight, something I have never in my life been, but I accumulated over the past year and a half on drugs). I currently live in a recovery home in hemet calif. and have a little over 6 months sobriety from alot of prescription meds etc. Anyway, I wanted to ask a question to anyone out there. I just started going to the gym again, and I am trying really hard not to get over obsessed with my old "how many calories I have burned off, and that is my allotment for how many calories I can take in" mode that I am so familiar with. I have decided to just have the attitude of " knowing that I am raising my metabolism by working out aerobically, as well as with weight machines". Do you guys think this is a healthy attitude? I don't want to get into relapse mode. I need to do this for my health. Thanks alot for your feedback, I'd really appreciate it,
laurie

[Pray_Lady]

Hi Laurie! Welcome!

Sounds really healthy to me. And that's the point here - getting *healthy* and not worrying so much about size, calories and pounds. They will take care of themselves. To be really free, we need to feel our feelings and deal with them as feelings instead of eating, exercising or purging them away - which never really works anyway. Stuffing our feelings is only a temporary fix, and they're actually harder to deal with later, because then we have the guilt of whatever stuffing mechanism we used! A vicious circle!

But exercising to take care of ourselves and be strong is a wonderful feeling.

I'm glad you're here! Take care,

Pray Lady

[val]

Hi Laurie,
Sounds good to me.
I got a lot out of your post and you are exactly right, Its a frame of mind. As soon as I start all that obsessive stuff, then I find that my weight is constantly on my mind and if don't stick to my plan 100%, then guilt sets in and I think, what's the point in even trying anyway and I give up.
I think that you have a good attitute towards all this, keep it up and keep sharing, because you have certaily got me thinking. Thankyou,

Love Val:-)

[Pony]

Welcome Laurie,

Glad to have you here at this forum. My opinion, which I have shared on other posts here, is that having a healthy mind set in half that battle with havin a healthy life. Doing everything in moderation, like eating and exercise, leads you to a healthy body.

I'm sorry this has to be so short as I have to get to work, but keep posting and we'll all help one an other.

Pony

[firefly]

Hello Laurie,

I think what you're doing is GREAT !

Welcome. I'm new here too.

I know how hard it can be to stop exercize from becoming obsessive. I'm an 18 year survivor of Anorexia, Bulimia and Over Eating. I still have that little voice in the back of my head from time to time, too. The good news is, with practice, it gets quieter. I think food is the most difficult addiction of all. To paraphrase a famous author, unlike a heroin or cocaine, Bulimics ( + any other eating disorder, in my humble opinion,)have it more difficult as they can't ever give up their substance of choice. We must learn how to modify our behaviors while still "using." The good news is, behaviors A R E changable, and so is how we use. You are evidence. You can see the difference in behaviors, and the choices you are making. That's a very important step. If we can't see it, we can't change it.

Serenity and joy,

firefly

Hi everyone, thanks for all the replys you gave me. I was a little nervous, because this place is new, and I'm unfamiliar with this place, but you all made me feel welcome. And yes, I have been surviving with going to the gym lately, and having a healthy attitude about the entire thing. I also shared some of my feelings with my fears in one of my groups at the recovery center I go to on a daily basis, and I received alot of good support and positive feedback. It has really helped me to keep focused. So thank you for supporting me, love laurie

[firefly]

Hello laurie,

We are all in this together. As someone pointed out, all of us have issues in one way or another & that's why we're here. Glad sharing has helped you. Please keep coming back.

Peace,

firefly

sbrytysis801, maybe you should only weigh yourself once a month.

I know, it hard not to weigh yourself 10 times a day. I used to do that but since I do it once a month, I'm not "obsessing" and I'm losing weight.

Obsessing will discourage you when your results are not instantanous.

Good luck, Babs

[This message has been edited by Babs777 (edited April 05, 2002).]