im having trouble maintaining my weight

[clancy]

Hi guys,

Clancy here from the Na board....im straying a bit....Im just over one week clean and have completely lost my apetite.I have a bit of a history of eating disorder......Im so afraid to gain weight...ouch...this is a deep dark secret...why is food such an issue with us girls? right now im 8 stone 5 which is maybe 105 in yankee.... and im 5ft 10 tall.

I know im too skinny but sometmes im just so pissed at food y' know?

Evry day i have to think what to feed to myself and my partner and step daughter, then i have to go get it,que up, lug it home 5 miles on my bike, cook it, eat it (the worst bit) and wash up.

Iwas on top of my eating problems but now ive come off narc's its gettin' really sticky again.

Fancy havin' both problems...the shame.but I notice some of the he other usual suspects lurking around...Juls! wot u doin here...?

Anyone got any advice?

Clancy xxx

[Paulie]

Clancy -
You found me here too. I have just recently relized that I have traded food for the drugs I used to do. This is not how it worked in my first few years of recovery, but it sure is true for the last couple, expecially this last year. So I decided to wonder over to this group and ask for some help. Well I got some great answers right off the bat. Approach the food issue like you approach recovery. For me that is to ask God for help. If I remember correctly you have some issues with that approach.
But hang in there with the idea, I think you have a pretty open mind.
Maybe if we hang around this site enough we can get some more great advice.
Hope you are having a good day, or night where you are and I hope to hear from you again soon. I have been praying for you.
Pauline

Clancy,

You found me out huh? LOL. I don't know that I have a eating disorder per-se, but I have always struggled with my weight. I used to exercise obsseively, (at least that's what some of my friends told me), because I wanted to be in great shape.

I gained 30lbs when I had my daughter five years ago, and the weight just does not come off. I don't binge or purge, and I eat pretty healthy most of the time. But I do struggle with body image. Even when I was weighing less and was in really good shape, I always felt fat.

After I got married and had my baby, I just lost all motivation for exercise. That is why I want to start going back to the place I mentioned in my other post and start walking there again. I have been depressed since I got married. I don't know why. This lifestyle just doesn't seem to agree with me.

You seem to have the opposite situation, being thin, which of course (I know this sounds sick), in a way I envy. I always used to think if I was just think enough I would be happy. I know this is not true. I'm not really much of a domestic type at all, although I do enjoy cooking for other people. For myself, it's just a pain.

I didn't know you had a partner and a step-daughter.

For me I try not concentrate on how much I weigh, just try to make sure I'm eating something healthy every day. That's one thing I really enjoy about the summer here in California, you can get so many varieties of delicious fruits. Veggies too. Asparagus is my favorite, and even though it's expensive I go ahead an indulge myself, and buy it on a regular basis.

If you like avocados their a great food. They have a good fat in them, and you can eat them plain or in salads. My favorite way to eat them is to slice them up with a really good tomatoe, and with slices of what's called "buffalo mozzarella," with a few capers, and drizzled with a good italian dressing.

If you like ice-cream, homemade shakes with fruit are a great treat.

Do you have any foods that really tickle your taste buds?

I love Almond butter over peanut butter. There's a health food store, where they have one of those grinders and you grind up your own almond or peanut butter fresh, no preservatives, or those funky fats inlcuded like cotton-seed oil.

I wish we didn't have so many problems with the e-mail, there's alot of things I would like to talk to you about that I would prefer not to say on the forum.

I would love to cook a great meal for you.

Luv

your mate,

Juls

[This message has been edited by Julia (edited May 07, 2002).]