Let's get motivated

This is just to introduce myself. I'm Pony which is ovisiously just my username, but I believe we need to get some momentum going in this forum. Food addiction is just as unhealthy and hard to beat as any drug and alcohol. In fact I feel it may be harder because an alcoholic can learn to live life without the use of alcohol, and a drug addict can learn to live without drugs, but how does a food addict live life completely without food? You can't. We have to learn how to control our eating, by learning moderation, and having self-control. You can't just go "cold turkey" and never touch it again like some have done with alcohol, drugs, and even smoking. All addictions are very hard to break, and us food addicts need to help each other get through and support our recovery also. So come on in, what do you think?
Pony

[Cat1254]

Hi Pony,

I'm glad I came across your post. I'm a recovering addict/alcoholic, sober 11 months today. Since becoming sober I've gained 40 pounds! I've never been on a diet before in my life, I can't seem to get full until I eat so much I'm about to pop. I feel so out of control; and like you pointed out, I can't just quit like I did boozing/using, I've got to eat. I'm afraid I'm substituting food for booze, and using it the same way. But it's so frustrating to eat a "regular" portion and still feel hungry! Plus I have a heart problem so it's really not healthy for me to eat like I have been. I guess I just need to find some will-power, does anyone have any to spare? Anyway, thanks for listening.

Cat

Hi Cat, It's nice to hear from you also. Your right in feeling that you have substituted food for the drinking/using. Food is comfort like alcohol and drugs were; an escape from whatever it is that we need escape from. Get at that and you'll be pat way there. As for not feeling full, in my opinion, has alot to do with our own minds. I don't know what diet you are following but there are some pretty good programs out there to help with reteaching our eating habits and or self-esteem too. This might sound strange but tryi drinking a full glass of water about 15-20 mins. before eating your meals and it might help with the fullness, to start, but also you need to try to recongnize satisfaction without stuffing to the point of popping. Glad to have you here and maybe we can help eachother. I, too, have put my addictions into food and know that it's not healthy, but find it hard to get myself motivated to start a healthier way of living. I want to for myself and my 4 yr. old, just to be able to keep up with her. Sometimes I truely feel that the people around me just don't understand that it's not as simple as saying " just quit eating". My worst time is in the middle of the night. I'm so busy all day that I donn't get time to eat, but then I make up for that later. Not good. So here we are, and new day starts for all of us.
Pony

[Cat1254]

Hi Pony,

Thank you so much for your reply! I was so happy and encouraged to see it this morning. So far I haven't been following any diet--but that's going to change. I'm checking out different ones, I'm interested now in the Atkins diet but haven't decided for certain. I've tried the water, both before and after I eat, but I think you are right-on that it's emotional more than physical. Another poster recommended a book, "It's not what you're eating, but what's eating you", I looked for it at my library but they had no copies, so I ordered it from Amazon.

I'm so frustrated with no clothes fitting, short of breath doing any little thing, and avoiding any mirrors! I do my eating during the day (I'm a stay-at-home mom) when no one is here to watch me eat. (I just realized how unhealthy that sounds!!!) Anyway, thank you again for your reply and for being here.

Cat

Hi Cat, Yes I know the feeling of nothing fitting. I think the biggest mistake (for me) I made was to begin wearing those loose fitting knit pants. I say that because I became comfortable in them and didn't realize how much weight I was gaining since they were so loose. So no more of those for me. And I completely understand about the mirror avoidence. I don't even have a full length mirror in my home. So I guess you can say from the waist up I look good ( just a little humor).
The book sounds like a good idea. I may look it up myself. Just take it one step at a time, and each day at a time. Tell yourself good things. Pony

[Cat1254]

Hi Pony!

OOOh, I know what you mean about the loose fitting pants! Those and big shirts! Before I know it another 10 pounds on the scale. I'm getting a bit better at that, I never wear them out anymore but still do at home. Yesterday I forced myself to look in the mirror--when I was ! Not a pretty sight, but I didn't eat as much yesterday as usual. Currently I'm stressing about going to my husband's family's home for Thanksgiving. It's been since Xmas since I've seen everyone, and I'm 40 pounds heavier now (I'm short, so it REALLY shows--and I'm shaped like an apple, hard to conceal). I know comments will be made. I'm thinking of "getting sick" for that day. But something else tells me to go and not give a rip what they say or think. (By the way, no one is overweight, and it's a large Italian family! I'd stick out like a blimp.) I'm really hoping that book comes soon! Even if I do drastically cut back on food (I don't know if I can do that at this point!) it's less than a month away and I don't think I could lose that much anyway. Grrrrr.... I'm really not feeling very good about myself today.

Pony, thanks again for being here. It's great to have someone to talk to about this. Thanks for listening!

Cat

Cat,
Hi, I want to thank you also for being here. It has given me another look into thingsI do as well. We all have such unhealthy self-defeating habits to overcome and it helps to have a partner to do it with. Looking in the mirror hopefully can be an incentive more then depressing. Avoiding it is just avoiding reality, so we don't have to admit that we need to do something. But when you can't hide from it, well then maybe it will get us to do it rather than talk about it. Maybe? lol Also while we are trying and working on it we can see the progress as well. Sometimes that can cheer us on to keep going. Like me I supposed you probably tried just about everything. Well all I can say is to keep trying, we are only defeated when we give up and do nothing.
As far as the family dinners go, I've been there too. My ex-inlaws are all thin or only slighly overweight. Nothing compared to me, so I understand about not wanting to go. I guess what you need to ask yourself is; "How are you going to feel if you don't go" as opposed to "How you would feel going and hearing what they say"? But hiding away at home isn't going to solve your's or there problem with your size. Remarks made by thin people I usually pass off as hot air passing through the mouths of ignorant people who have no understanding of what it is to fight food addictions, or maybe addictions period. They thing there advice on losing weight; ie."don't eat so much, cut it in half" or the " if you would just follow this plan,....!" Or there ever loving remark like " You would look so pretty if you would just lose weight"! Just makes me want to get sick. What I'm not pretty now? I ask, you know. Oh, and what happens if I lose weight and I'm still not so called " pretty " then what......gain it back. I say do it for yourself, and at your own rate. To be healthy and enjoy life. Take it one step at a time, read the books, try starting an "eating healthy" plan, and get out daily for some sort of excerise, even if it's just a walk around the block or the park. Enjoy nature, and before you know it your on your way to a healthier you. Do I now sound like a commercial. Sorry. But some of my co-workers and I have taken up walking, just some each day. Of course we know we'll have to find something else when the weather gets bad. I hope I don't sound like I'm preaching. It's the last thing I would want to do or am even qualified to do. I am really just so tickled that I have another person to share this with. Thanks again.
Oh yes, and I wanted to say congrats on curbing some food today. Just keep plugging away, we will get there!! Me well I didn't eat much all day because I worked all day, not near food, but I think I ate too much at dinner and late at that. Tomorrow is another day!
Pony

[Cat1254]

Hi Pony!

Thank you for the wonderful advice! No, you didn't sound "preachy"--you said exactly what I needed to hear! I have a migraine headache at the moment (menstrual--have had them for years!) so this will be short today. I'm puzzling over the fact that I can be in so much pain and still eat like a horse!!! Anyway, excersizing is out of the question right now, but I plan on starting Monday. I excersize sporadically, but I need to start doing something every day, like you suggested. Take care and I'll post more tomorrow!

Hugs,

Cat

Hello Cat,
Sorry to hear you weren't feeling too great; I hope that today was a better day. Myself, I've been so busy working with not much of a break in my day that my eating schedule has been way off. I try to eat somewhat regular times (that's a laugh) to somewhat balance my food in the day. Which would be a good thing if I could actually accomplish it. But as it stands I eat somewhere around 9 am and then not again until 8-9 pm when I finally make dinner. And yes I know that hour is way to late to eat dinner and then go to bed. That's why I have a big problem. By that time I am so hungry I eat too much. I've tried to get dinner earlier, but it's not consistant yet. I'm working on it though. And during the day it's just about impossible to eat right at a good time. I'm a school bus driver so I'm on the road, sometimes all day. (like today) Anyway, I'm a bit tired so I think I will close, but I hope you have a great weekend.
Pony

[Cat1254]

Hi Pony!

I saw myself in your post! Although I eat all day (snack, mostly), my husband has been working late and doesn't get home until around 8--and that's when we have dinner. Of course I do the same as you, I'm so hungry, I usually overeat, then I go to bed shortly after that. Grrrr.... I don't know if I should just give up or what. I don't like being at this weight--my feet and ankles constantly hurt plus it's not healthy for my heart. But I guess no one is going to do it for me. I want to eat whatever I want and stay 120 pounds! Oh well, we can wish, right? LOL I've just started reading the Atkins book, I don't know how that will be for a carb and sugar addict like me, I'm going to finish the book before I decide. My husband needs to lose weight too, but we seem to have no will power at all. I'm getting frustrated with myself! I'm due for my physical Nov. 20, will talk to my dr. about it then. I'm battling depression at the moment, also. I think if I could only lose weight I wouldn't be depressed, but maybe if the depression is treated it would be easier to lose weight.

Anyway, I hope you're doing well. Driving a school bus sounds like incredibly hard work--I couldn't do it, it would drive me crazy! I really admire you. Take care!

Cat

Hey Cat,
Yes, don't we all wish we could just eat and do what we want and not gain an ounce. AAHHhh, to be the perfect "Barbie Doll". Anyway, No, don't give up. It's these stuggles that we go through, while on our way to our goals, that will help us keep in line and not allow it to happen to us again. I truely believe that the challanges we face prepares us for that ultimate goal of being at our ideal size and health, in order to help us maintain it, without the fear of deserving it. After all if we have worked that hard for so many months, and in my case years, then we have deserved the rewards that come along with it. (like looking good, and being in good health)
You say your husband works late, would he be opposed to you eating earlier without him? Then maybe when he comes home you could set down at the table with him, while he eats, and you can have a "healthy" snack. there are things out there that would be good for that time of evening, and the two of you can still have that time together.
I think your right in wanting to check with your doctor before starting anything. I know lots of people who have tried the DR. Akins plan. My only opinion is that I only see them do it for such a short time. I guess that would be ok if you only had to lose about 50 lbs. but for me it wouldn't work. To restraining and depriving. You see I'm a food addict. I feel the important thing is to relearn the eating habits. That way it becomes a life time of health and not a "YO-YO" syndrome. My mom has been on Weight Watchers for about 1 1/2 yrs. now and she doing pretty good. She is extremely overweight also, and has asthma, diabetic, and has blood pressure trouble. She also walks with a cane because of a knee injury years ago. What I mean to say is that she is loosing and relearning habits and attitude and eating and food. It's one of the best programs around, in my opinion. check into it. I know they are nation wide. That may be my direction also. Just don't give up. Take it one day at a time and I'll be here to talk with. This helps me too. To get me off my collective tush and put into action these ideas for myself. LOL

Have a great day! Pony

[Cat1254]

Hi Pony!

Thanks for the suggestion about eating dinner--I think I'll try it. I know what you mean about feeling deprived--that's what I'm going through now. I'll check out weight watchers also, I want to explore lots of plans before deciding on one, and I want it to be a life-long plan. I think yo-yo-ing is unhealthier than just being overweight, but that's just my opinion. I'm still exercising though, so I'm happy about that.

Thank you for your wonderful suggestion. It's starting to get dark so time to get into the Halloween candy.....just kidding (hopefully!). I'm wondering if we'll have as many trick-or-treaters this year as in past years? I sure hope so, I MUST get rid of all this candy I have--and not down my throat, either! LOL

Take care,

Cat

Hey there Cat,
Happy Spook Eve ( Halloween ), I hear what your saying about that candy. Chocolate is my drug. I was hoping to get rid of ours also, but when we came back from taking our 4 yr. old out, it was all still in the bowl. I had set it out side for them to help themselves, hoping someone would just take all of it, but they didn't.
Yes I think checking out all plans for weight loss is good to do, because bouncing up and down with the weight is unhealtier then just staying overweight. They'er are medical studies on that very subject. And picking the right program is very important especailly if you have medical problems already. I'm glad to hear that you have been excercising. That's great----You go girl !! I sure got excercise tonight thou, man what a walk. Sure felt it in my thighs, right where I need to. lol
Anyway, hope you had a good evening, we did. And tomorrow is a promising new day.
Pony

[Cat1254]

Hi Pony!

I always enjoy seeing your posts when I check in! We didn't get rid of much candy at all, but I sent it to work with my husband, he's going to put it out and let anyone take it, so at least it's not here! I've been doing a bit better about eating; I've actually been stopping when I should instead of just pigging out completely. For example I ate just 1 sloppy joe for lunch instead of 2, and made myself stop there. I cannot believe how my appetite has increased the past year! Anyway, I'm still eating the same things, just a bit less of them, until I see the doc and decide what I'm going to do. I really think this is much more challenging and harder than quitting alcohol!!!

Hope you're doing well!

Cat

Hey Cat,
That's great to hear about your cutting down. It is the first step. It's very hard to do at first, but if you whether it out long enough you will notice that your appetite will decrease. The more you cut your intake at each meal and have small snacks inbetween, such as friut, Your stomach will actually shrink. It really does happen, I have noticed it myself. I started cutting my foods at each meal a few months ago and lately I have noticed that I get full faster. I can eat as much as I used to. At a resturant I could polish off the whole plate, but lately I can't finish it and I end up bringing it home for the next day. NOw if I can only pick the right foods to eat, and get my tushy exercising I could be on my way. You know?? lol
And the candy, OH man, we had so much left over too. But I took mine to work and handed it out to my kids on my bus. For my middle school route I bribed my kids from the last stop to close my windows and I gave them a whole hand full. I hate having to close my windows at the end of my run. I just like to lock up and go home. Anyway, they bit, and closed them all just for candy. Teens go figure.
Yep this addiction is definately harder but not impossible.

I like coming here and seeing a post from you too. I feel like I've found a friend.

Pony

Hey you two, I feel like I'm butting in on a private conversation, but I just wanted to write and say how much you two have personally helped me. Although I'm different in a lot of ways from the two of you, i also think I'm so extremely similar that its scary.
I know you may not be intrested at all, but ill just tell you my eating drama in a nutshell. Everyone in my familys always had a weight problem, so ive basically been trying to diet since i was 9. A year ago i decided that i was going to get thin once and for all so i stopped eating. i would literally eat 450 calories a day and if i ate more than that i would feel so guilty that i would eat nothing the next day. Well it worked and soon i found myself at a perfect weight. However, then the out of control binging started. Because i hadnt eaten in so long, if i ate ANYTHING with sugar ( a handful of sugary cereal, a spoonful of ice cream, a miniture snickers) i would loose it and go out of control and eat until i couldnt move anymore. I calculated once and it came out to more than 10,000 calories in under an hour. it was sick. This is why i think that eating addiction is as real as alcholic addicition. I would binge to calm nerves and loose control, and have to eat unbelievable amounts just to feel normal. Well now ive decided that i want to get my life back and have control over myself so i dont loose control of myself because of food. ive started about a week ago to eat healthy and to rid myself of the binging, and let me tell you it is so physically and mentally painful. Although i did loose control 4 times allready, i feel like the binging is getting smaller and smaller every time. And once again, i feel like you two have been a great part of trying to overcome this. Thank you so much and keep it up!
Callie

Thank you Calle for your kind words. Whatever the disorder we are all in this together, to help one an other overcome and learn to manage our food. I'm glad to hear that you've begun to eat healthy. Starvation is never the answer for loosing wieght. Your body literally goes into servival mode and starts craving all the foods/nuetrients that it needs. But I'm sure you have learned all of this. A good balanced food plan is the way to go, with of course, a reasonable exercise program.
Thanks for sharing your story with us, and please keep right on posting here. Your story and insights can help us also. Pony

oh no no no for thank YOU very much. But seriously, cat and Pony, you two are the greatest...hahah i know im such a loser but today i was craving an ice cream so bad, but right before i let myself run out to get one and and devour it i was like "hmm, what would Cat and Pony think if i broke down" so i feel like the 3 of us are in it togther like a pact. Anyways, one day at a time right? So far i made it through today, and let me tell you, i am so proud. But enough about me, how have you two been doing with everything?
luv,
Callie

Hey Callie, You may have been only joking, but just to let you know, there are no losers in this group. We are all winners in just getting through each day alive. :-) Anyway, good for you, it's important for you to be proud of yourself, and not to worry we are not here to judge you if you happen to give in to temptation. Just to encourage you to regroup and move on to the next day or hour as the case may be. I myself gave into the calling of the halloween candy me little one collected and is sitting on my counter. Just calls out my name and I can here it all the way into my bedroom, "eat me" LOL
Today is another day and I have no interest in it at all. For today !! lol


Hey Cat, Haven't heard from you in the last few days. Hope all is well. Miss reading you messages.

Pony

[Cat1254]

Hi Pony and Callie!

I'm baaaaack! Was having computer problems and missed you so very much!!! All is fixed now (fingers crossed). Callie, welcome! And thank you for your very kind words! For the first time in a long time, I don't feel alone in this and I thank you both. Callie, I know what you mean about sugar. It seems if I eat just a bit then I just say to heck with it and go all out--sugar is definitely my weakness! As I said to Pony, I think I simply switched addictions, from alcohol to food. (You're right, Callie, I think it's just as real of an addiction.) The book I ordered, "It's not what you're eating, but what's eating you" finally arrived! I haven't read very far in it yet, but the introduction described me perfectly! Right now I'm fighting sugar cravings. I actually thought about calling my husband and telling him to bring home the leftover candy! I'm still doing pretty well, portion-wise, but I really don't know if I'll ever get the hang of this. But I find so much comfort coming here and sharing. Thanks to you both for being here!

Pony, how are you doing? What a great idea about the candy--bribery usually works with kids! LOL Callie, how are you? I'm glad to be back online!!!!!

Hugs,

Cat

Hey Cat, welcome back I've missed you. Yes the bribing has gone very well with the kids on my bus. I haven't had to close my own windows at the end of the day for the last few days. Yippee!! Anyway, stay tuff on the candy thing. You know it's a weakness the best thing to do is to keep it very far away. lol The only thing that has saved me from going all out with my daughter's trick or treat candy is the fact that too much sugar/chocolate makes my teeth hurt. They've become very sensitive over the last few years. A blessing, I think.
My big problem currantly is that I can't seem to get myself motivated to exercise. I used to have a routine and was losing weight. Then I got pregnant and I haven't been able to get back to it since. That was five years ago. I have gone walking with co-workers, but it has been hit and miss. As we all know it needs to be consistant. Oh well I will get there. I hope.
Meanwhile, we are all here to share our days, cool.
Have a great day tomorrow Cat and Callie.
Pony

[Cat1254]

Hi Pony & Callie!

Pony, I know what you mean about exercising--I haven't exercised since I came down with a migraine. I do good for 2-3 weeks then seem to backslide. Of course I get migraines around my period so that usually interrupts the exercise program, but I really need to get back into it when it goes away!

I held out on the candy and didn't eat any! But I have to go to the store this morning; I'll try to be strong. I must break this sugar addiction!!!

Have a great day, I'll check in later.

Hugs,

Cat

oh hey hey you two ladies
cat i so glad your back! when you hadnt written anything for so long i thought youd ran away or forgotten about us here. Anyways, sugar really is my devil, in all forms really, but especially ice cream and chocolate, i just cant say no. And yea, cat as i said before, its like we're the same with that once i start eatin it, i just loose ALL willpower totally. And about exercising, im the same way. I've been trying to take aerobics classes, which are a fun way to do it because of the music and all, so once im there its fine, but my problem too is actually getting up and driving there and GOING, i just cant get motivated. especially when im tiered, its so annoying, because i know that once i exercise, I'll feel more energized and more awake, but then im like hmmmmm nap or work out?, nap or work out? and yes, i always pick the nap. Anyways, most is going good over here, except tomorrow my goal is to try to not eat so many sweets. How're you two doin?
luv,
Callie

Hey there friends,
Just had to tell you all just how proud of my 18 yr. old daughter I am. I am sooooo proud of her that I have to share it with the world. She is a recovering addict of both drugs/alcohol. Without going into a big long story, she has had many challanges put to her from a very young age and it all seem to flood her when she hit the teens years. So needless to say she had some very out-of-control behaviors. In the last two years she has worked very hard with the help of counclors and the NA groups that she goes to and has maintained her sobriety for about 1 yr. 5 mos. She has put her life on track and moving forward even with the challagnes she currantly faces. She is currantly maintaining a job, of one year, an apt., and going to college. The reason I am so filled with all this pride at this time is because depite her fathers unforgiving attitude toward her childhood behavior, she still is maintianing and planning her future. I want to just slap him. I can't believe this is the same man I once wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We have been divorced for as while now and I'll never look back.
Now that I have vented, Thanks, I can get on with it. I've been in a bad place most of tonight over the recent email he sent her with some very hurtful words on it. Unfortunatley I found some comfort foods to help me get through. Well, tomorrow is another day. At least it wasn't candy, but muching on dinner leftovers aren't good either.
Hope you are all doing better than me.
Pony