Traded Drugs for Food

[Paulie]

Okay - this is probably very obvious to the people around me, but I am just beginning to realize that I have traded drugs for food. I have been clean and sober for almost 7 years now. After I stopped using, I gained weight. I am a speed freak when I am using I am skinny as a rail. I come from a family of overweight people, when I stop using I gain weight. Over the last two years I have gained almost 40 pounds! I have never been this heavy in my life, 60 pounds over weight. I need to lose it. I started a hypnosis program last November but have not stuck to that. I eat when I am not even hungary, I do all the things with food that I used to do with speed. Has anyone else had this problem??? Is this the right board to post on with with problem? I am confused and need some help. I can hardly walk up a flight of stairs without breathing so heavy my heart wants to jump out of my skin.
I am doing good with my program, not using, meetings my NA program is really good right now, but I have turned to food instead. What should I do???
Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Pauline

I can relate. I have been in a phase now for about a year where I either drink or binge/purge every night. It's like, if I don't do one, I have to do the other. I have an extreme anxiety problem. I workout hard for about 3 hours a day just to wear myself out, but it doesn't work!!! I know exactly how it is to substitute one addiction for another. And yes, I think it's appropriate to post your issues on this board. I'll respond, at least! God Bless, and know there is someone out there like you!

[Paulie]

Thank you Coolchick -
What can we do to stop doing this to ourselves??? I don't want to be this person, tired all the time and feeling self concious. How can I take the tools I learned to stop using drugs to stop using food?
You have to stop purging - that is so damaging to your system, I know it is easy for me to say and you can tell me to just stop eatting. Isn't it funny how we can tell other people so easily what to do but we can't do it ourselves.
Thanks for responding, maybe we can help each other.
Pauline

[Pray_Lady]

For me, recovery from using food as a cover for feelings has been almost the same as my recovery from alcohol, drugs and cigarettes. I wasn't in an acute crisis with the food, but I had enough recovery under my belt to recognize overeating as a slow death. And I didn't want to be killing myself anymore. I mean, hey, we're all going to die soon enough - I might as well try LIVING while I'm here, right?

But there have been lots of times in my food journey when it was bigger than me and I had to pray my butt off asking for God to take my feelings. It always happened when I sincerely asked.

I belong to a "normie" weight loss support group (I've been maintaining for almost a year now) and most of them don't understand at all when I talk about praying. They're focused on calories and carbs and proteins and step aerobics and struggle, struggle, struggle. But for me, the magic has been in turning it over to a power greater than myself and surrendering the struggle. That power has never let me down when I have made myselft ready for the miracle, but has always led me out of the darkness of self-centeredness and into light of day and health.

Glad you're here! Keep coming back!


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Peace,

Pray Lady

[Paulie]

Pray Lady -
After reading your post this morning, I hit my knees. I asked God to help me with the problem just like I have asked him for some many years to continue to help me with my drug problem. I am going to approach this situation the same as I ahve with drugs. I cannot do it alone, I need God's help. thank you for reminding me of that.
Pauline

[val]

Hi Guys,
I totally identify with all of you.
I am a speed freak myself and have been in recovery for three years now but the food thing really gets me down. I go through spells of being really good and then, really bad. Right now I am about a half a day clean from junk eating, so it was good to know that I am not alone.

Love Val :-)

[Paulie]

Hi Val
Wow - there is alot of us out there. I am having a good day today too. I hit my knees this morning and asked God to help me with this one and I am doing good so far, but now I am home for the day and that is the real test.
I am going to approach food like I did speed when I quit. I am going to use you and everyone else on this site for support like I used NA when (and now) to get and stay clean (by the grace of God). Let's all try and help each other.
Pauline

Pauline,

I know for me the minute I thought of dieting, or putting myself on a diet, I would get terrible intense cravings for food.

The way I started to get a better perspective on eating was to just focus on drinking the recommended amount of water each day. When I first wake up, the first think I try to do is drink a big glass of water. It helped to make me feel positive about myself, that I had done one small thing for my health.

I never could get into all that counting calories jazz, but I would try to avoid sugar, and high fat foods as much as possible. However I also treated myself to the foods I really loved on ocassion. The idea of totally denying myself something like a baked potate with butter and sour cream, or some other goodie I liked was too depressing.

Now-a-days, I'm 30lbs overweight, but my biggest problem is lack of excercise. I just haven't had the motivation for it.

Not much good advice for you, but I can empathize with your struggle.

Juls

[Paulie]

Juls -
On this site just someone sharing is good advice. I know all the things that I need to do, you said the right word - motivation.
Thanks for responding, and again this morning I have asked God to help me today, not only not to use drugs, but the drink water, to only eat 3 meals and most important to stop when I am full.
thank you all for your support.
Pauline

[Pray_Lady]

Hey Pauline,

Just wanted to say Good Morning, have a 3rd Step day! :-}

I agree with your reply above - for me it hasn't been about what I eat but how and why I eat. I eat when my stomach is hungry and stop when it's full. I don't buy junk food and don't keep it in the house, but there's no food that's totally off limits because food isn't the problem. The problem was me eating when I wasn't physically hungry and then stuffing myself past full.

For me, the answer is in my heart and spirit, not the fridge.

Take care!



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Peace,

Pray Lady

Boy -- I can't tell you how nice your message was to receive. Thanks so much. I am doing better, though not good. I have decided that what has gotten me through rough times in the past is prayer. Sometimes I feel like God allows bad things to happen just so that we don't forget to prayer for strength. I am reading a book called "A Course in Miracles;" this is a book that has helped me in the past. It is pretty sad how easily we can give each other advice that we, ourselves, don't follow. I am a counselor and know this all too well! God Bless, and keep writing!

[Paulie]

Pray Lady and everyone else -

Thank you all for your support.

When I first got sober I learned the practice of PMW, that I still do each morning. Prayer, meditation, and writing. I write to my God and thank him for me waking up, I ask him to bless my day, and lots of things, it is my time in the morning to connect with him before I meet the day. Yesterday I started a new practice, I knelt down yesterday and this morning before getting into the shower and asked God to guide me with my emotions and to help me to not stuff them with food. This is going to become part of my morning routine.

And posting to all of you helps, thank you for being there.

I hope you all have a wonderful day, I have to head off to work now.
Love,
Pauline

[This message has been edited by Pauline (edited May 08, 2002).]