Need Help!!!!!

This is the first time I've written here. I have been anorexic/bulimic for 15 years (since I was 13) and I still have a lot of the behaviors. I also drink heavily now. I have a beautiful, wealthy, loving, hard-working boyfriend (who I hope to be engaged to soon) but who knows nothing about my drinking problem. He works ALL the time, and is very focused and controlling. I love him, but I have been in bad shape (mentally) ever since we began dating 18 months ago. I am a graduate student and have no income -- he pays for everything for me (car, rent, clothes, food) and we live what would seem to be the perfect life. It seems that, as everthing in my life is going great, I am losing my mind and having a total relapse. I don't even know what I want in response to this. I just want to let SOMEONE know about my problems. I feel like anyone who knew me would just tell me to deal with it and straighten myself out. I also can't go to counseling because I work as a counselor, and our city is not that big. Sad.

[firefly]

Hey coolchick,


Wow.

Well, first off, welcome.

I'm glad that you could write about all the stuff you're dealing with right now. I'm wondering about this,
"I love him, but I have been in bad shape (mentally) ever since we began dating 18 months ago."

I don't want to pry, and you don't have to answer; I just think it's an interesting statement to make about someone you're considering marrying.

Peace, serenity and joy,

firefly

[Pray_Lady]

Welcome, Cool Chick.

I'm glad you came here. Keep talking about it. Keep processing, and eventually it will all make sense. Can you get counseling in another town? You have all the answers you need. You are the expert on your own life. Just keep trying to get in touch with what you're feeling in your deepest heart, and it will work out.

Bless you!

------------------
Peace,

Pray Lady