I fell off the wagon-sort of

[Jwife22]

Okay. so I know I am an emotional eater....and lately I have been having some emotions....I haven't put on any weight but I really haven't lost any.

I have been trying the 3 hour diet.....at first I lost a few pounds doing it....pretty good, not to hard, still get to eat what you want, as long as it isn't over 400 cal.

My mother started the diet and she's lost over 30 lbs......don't know how she does it. Okay I do. My mom is on her feet all day at work, I sit on my butt behind a computer screen. I try to exercise at least 3 times a week for at least 30 or 45 minutes.

I have been slipping here or there, more often than not, eating things I shouldn't. Like a gravy biscuit from MCdonalds or chicken wings or pizza. I'm tired of being fat......

I think back to where i used to be at 5'6 and between 130 and 135 lbs ..healthy and good looking. I've gained 40lbs in the past 4 years and am not happy with myself. The more I'm not happy with myself, the more i eat. I look disgusting in the mirror to myself. I have a bad self-image and I am just now saying this out loud......I want to get back down to a size 8-9 jean instead of 12-14 that I wear now. I'm miserable.

Thanks for letting me share......needed to get that off my chest.

[pmaslan]

I could have written this myself. I feel the same way you do.
I don't know why I keep sabatoging all my good efforts...
Geez it's not like I never ate a pizza before.....
I am really going to make it this time....get back on the wagon
with me Laura we can do it!!!!!

[Nina Kay]

Hi Laura,
I'm an emotional eater too, so I certainly understand how you feel. I also relapsed lately. This part of your post describes me too. It's like a snowball effect that we just can't seem to stop. My sponsor is having me read a book called, "LOVING YOURSELF" by Daphne Rose Kingma. You might try that too.

I think back to where i used to be at 5'6 and between 130 and 135 lbs ..healthy and good looking. I've gained 40lbs in the past 4 years and am not happy with myself. The more I'm not happy with myself, the more i eat. I look disgusting in the mirror to myself. I have a bad self-image and I am just now saying this out loud......I want to get back down to a size 8-9 jean instead of 12-14 that I wear now. I'm miserable

[Jwife22]

That's what I am saying Patty----its not like I've never had pizza before, so why do I eat 2 slices instead of one? I eat after I am not hungry anymore and eat when I am bored and eat when I am sad. The only time I don't eat is when I am STRESSED to the max. I am getting back on the wagon, I started yesterday. I only had 1,400 calories yesterday and walked for about 15 minutes (all the time I had before a meeting started).

Ninakay--

It's like a snowball effect that we just can't seem to stop.

That's exactly what it is. I am looking for that book on amazon.com as we speak. Thanks.

[Nina Kay]

You made some really good points, Laura. I had a relapse too and my new first day of abstinence was yesterday, Sept. 14. It sounds like you are getting yourself back on track. Let's just remember that all we have to focus on is Today. We can do it for just one day. I also started walking again yesterday. I only walked for 25 min. and that was in two different intervals. I do think that we are doing good just to do what we can and to start back up slowly so that we don't get discouraged and overwhelmed. And getting to your meetings was a good choice.

After my relapse, I came here and posted. I went and wrote out my true feelings on paper. I then went to read some OA literature and pray. I said the Serenity Prayer several times with each thing that I'm dealing with in mind. I journaled all that I ate and drank the next day and figured out and wrote down all of my triggers that I could think of. Just some things that I've tried to map out so that maybe this won't happen again. Keep coming back here.
((((((((((((Encouraging Hugs))))))))))))))))))))))

[Jwife22]

I journaled all that I ate and drank the next day and figured out and wrote down all of my triggers that I could think of. Just some things that I've tried to map out so that maybe this won't happen again.

I am going to do this. I think maybe if I can do this that it'll be easier for me to stay within the limits of what I need to be eating.

The meeting I went to last night, Celebrate Recovery, is actually a meeting my husband attends for addiction to xanax but they focus on all sorts of addiction. It is a Christian based recovery program. Last night some of the recovering alcoholic/addicts talked about the little voice in the back of your head that urges us to do things we know we shouldn't. They talked about placing that voice in captivity. Keeping the thought in your head but not letting it overwhelm you. I enjoyed last nights meeting, not only does it apply to my codependecy issues but also to my eating habits.

I hope I'll be able to do that from now on. I did it this morning. I had a DR. appointment because somehow I've managed to get bronchitis to go along with my allergies and on the way back i so wanted to stop at Burger King and get a crossanwich. I placed the voice in captivity and told myself that that's all it was, a voice. I'm not really hungry, I don't need to eat that.

I hope this works.....