Eating disorder worse than ever..

[Lizrox]

I don't know what to do. I am severely restricting, abusing laxatives, weighing myself constantly. I made my husband get rid of the old scale but i couldn't stand not knowing so I went and bought a new one.

I know why my weight is up. I drink to much; especially cappuccino with milk. I can't stop drinking it and I know if I stopped my weight would go down.

UGHHHH, this is so hard but I have gotten great advice here.

I saw a therapist a couple of weeks ago for my Tramadol addiction (I haven't used in almost a month). I was supposed to go next week but I cancelled. I guess I should call again..

I feel fat...I feel ugly...

How do I stay off the scale? I can't stand not knowing...

I'm sorry if I am posting to much; you gals are my only outlet.

I have a 2 year old. I need to be there for her..

Thanks for listening..

Liz
aka-Lizrox

[upanddownjj]

Keep posting Liz - Never too much - Had ED Special on Dr. Phil just now - came home at the tail end of it...I always like what he has to say - he had a girl on who survived and is ED free now.and has written a book, but I didn't get her name - darn..hope you can see the show..Hopefully it will be on wherever you are - I'm on West Coast Canada
KEEP POSTING !!!!!

[Nina Kay]

Hi Liz,
I'm sorry that I just now saw this thread. You could never post too much, I promise. That's what this forum and we are here for. I'm so sorry to hear that you're having such a really hard time. Have you ever gone to an OA meeting. It's really for everyone who has an eating disorder. We may have some differences, but it's really all the same disorder. It just comes out in each of us in different ways. How we deal with it and the fact that we need each other's support, is all the same. I hope that you can go to some of those face-to-face meetings. I know that they certainly help me. Please keep coming back here as often as you can and posting. Please try to read all of the information in the Stickys at the top of this page also. There is some really helpful things posted there. (((((((HUGS)))))))

[Done-With-It]

I feel fat...I feel ugly...

Which usually means there's a lot more going on. Fat and Ugly aren't feelings, so what are you hiding from girl? What else is bothering you?
The tramadol covered up some feelings you were probably having, but now they are back. So it's natural to try and cover them with something else.

Maybe you should look into getting a counselor who specializes in eating disorders, they usually know about addiction as well.?. Just a thought.

When I was in treatment, their big thing was getting us to figure out and know what we were feeling.
This is how you know if it's a feeling or not,

If you say like before it, it's not a feeling.

I feel like a failure,
I feel like an idiot
etc.
those aren't feelings, What is beneath the failure?
etc...

Anyway, those are just some tricks that they taught me that
really work well.

You know that scale is going to drive you mad! Toss it! ;-)