Thought I would check in

[Pony]

OK, I thought maybe I should post something because I haven't been on or writing much in the past week. The past week has been ....well I can't even describe it except for that it's just been a bad week. It started with our bus accident resulting with our driver in ICU and having to have surgery on her back, with the possibility that she may not be able to return to driving, to lots of challenging moods at home. My other half has seemed to be very cranky this week which triggers reactions on my part. I know that he wasn't feeling very good and some other things have happened that have lent to his mood, but I just don't like it being taken out on me. Also feeling a bit overwhelmed in trying to get our apt. in order so it doesn't look like a store room. Sometimes all I feel like I do is move things form one side to the other without making progress. I know we are but it's just so slow, and I know that my SO wants it done like "yesterday". He's a lot more organized, or was before me, than I am.

Anyway, today was prettu good. I talked to all my kids and everyone is fine. My one daughter is just about ready to have her baby. My other G-babies are doing great. My first one just starting crawling yesterday. Now she on the go.

My food through all of htis has been ok. I haven't really been eating right, but I haven't overeaten. Just the wrong things and some skipped meals. Well, there's always tomorrow...LOL

Hope all of you are doing ok.
Hugs

[Ann]

Pony

Your signature says it all...tomorrow is a new day!!! And I do hope that it is better for you. I don't know about you, but I am busting to see that new baby! Tell your daughter to hurry up LOL.

[Paulie]

Pony -

I too hope you are having a better day.

I have been doing okay, could be better. I am trying to make good choices. I have only cooked once in the past 1 and 1/2 weeks, we have been eating out WAY to much. Mostly burritos and so I do okay with that, but the chips and salsa...not a good thing. I am not sure why we have been doing this. Even yesterday I made sure to plan ahead and took pork chops out of the freezer in the am, but we he KungPow (SP?) chicken, why....I don't know.

tonight I am going to cook a nice dinner. Skipped the gym today to go to the dr, so I will go tomorrow.

[Pony]

Well I don't know if today was any better. No real catastrophies....so that was good...LOL I just wasn't feeling good. I think I have caught my other half's cold that he has been down with this past week. Hopefully it will go away fast and not go into my chest and effect my asthma. Then it will take forever..well it always seems that way anyways.

Yeah I am excited to see my new G-baby and know what it is. They still couldn't tell in the ultra sound, so i guess it's just ment to be a surprise.

Pauline, I know those weeks where you find yourself not really planning food and end up with fast food. We have far too many of those nights around here also. I just get so tired of planning meals and no one being interested so...then I don't and we eat whatever is around......which is usually junk. Then they want....well I should say "he" wants a good healthy meal when I didn't plan for it. Go figure!!

OH yeah, getting back to the babies; I am trying to get some pictures of them to put on here so you all can see. soon.

later,

[Paulie]

Pony -

Last night I made a good dinner, I hate to cooke, but it felt really good to eat healthy. Cupboards are bare so I am going grocery shopping today and I have a good list started.

Since my shoulder is getting better everyday I am able to write alot more and Ihave opened my notebook and started writing on my steps again with the main issue always going back to food. As I have said before I have been using food as my drug for a while now. I was not able to write more than a few words (not at all for the first month or so) until just recently so I pretty much used that as a reason not to do it, I should have been typing but then I wouldn't have had an excuse LOL!
anyway it feels good to be actively doing them again even though some of the stuff that I am writing about doesn't feel that good .

going to the gym today and I feel good about that.

Can't wait to see those babies Pony. The only baby in our family is my cousin Meg, she is a year but she lives 3 hours from here, saw her in November and now will see her again at Easter. Love having babies around, all ours (neices and nephews) are growing up. So you have to share!!!

[Pony]

Pauline,

I know what you mean about excuses. I'm a pro at that! lol But you know it becomes a vicious cycle of excuses then guilt, at least for me. I get upset at myself for allowing these things to distract me and then of course we know where that leads to....yep..food.

Well, Monday it's back to the gym again. I had a financial glich, but it's all worked out now and I can return to working out.....Yeah! I do miss it. I feel so much better when I go. Not so much physically yet, but inside...I guess more mental. I still get very tired after working out and working all day. I come home from work in the afternoon and drift into a nap. Not everyday but some.

Don't mind sharing my babies. Gives me a chance to show them off. I don't get to see Cassie much because they live about four hours away. Altough I will be going to her first birthday party in May. My ex-h and his new wife will be there also.....should be interesting!? The other G-daughter I see more often since she just lives about 15-20 mins. from me in the other valley. In fact I may be babysitting on Monday while my daughter is at her NA meeting. She usually takes her along but this week she is speaking (her story) and she didn't want to have to stop to give a bottle. I'll just keep her with me while "mommy" is speaking. I can't wait to be there. I am so proud of my daughter and her recovery. I know what my daughter has to say is painful to hear but I the fact that I walked through these paths with her has made us closer.

Ok, I'm rambling....think I'll close now. Have a great weekend if I don't get the chance to get back on here until Monday.

Hugs

[Paulie]

Pony -

We are all so alike, it is just a vicous circle, but we can work and try and break it. I went to the gym 3 times this week that is good and walked my dog Ithink about 4 times, but to be honest she is a little dog so it is not like we walk miles or anything, around the block does her little legs in LOL!

I think that is so awesome that you are going to hear your daughters story. I have often thought about telling my mom when I am speaking at a meeting, but I don't think she would do well, she would cry. and then she would be embarassed. The longer I stay clean the more things come out in coversation about things that I did, but she still does not know everything about the way I lived for those years. She never went to alanon, even thought I think she should, but that is not my choice, I just have to work my program.

Thre is some turmoin in my family right now and that makes me very crazy and so what have I done about it, eat. Surprise suprise. but Ihave been telling mysel f over and over for the last 2 days that it does not involve me, it is my brother, his wife and my mom. those codependent issues just flare up right when I need them LOL!
Okay enough rambling for me also.

Have you heard of curves? they are opening up everywhere. I know a few people that have joined and really like it. My year commitment is up at the gym at the end of the month, of course I could stay but I was thinking of curves so I thought I would get your opinion. I think I will go talk to them next week and just see what it is about. Don't know if I can do much of upper body stuff yet with my shoulder, but I think I will check it out.

have a great weekend.

[Pony]

It's nice to share experiences...makes us not feel so strange and know that we are OK people!!

Yes I am excited and proud to hear my daughter speak. It is still hard for me but I know that blame doesn't all belong in my court. As a parent I did what I could--made mistakes like most do, but we have cleared the air between her and I and have a close relationship. What hurts is the pain that she went through before, during, and after getting clean with all involved; but I was there throught it all and understand and heal with her. But you see I am an emotional person so I will probably tear up anyway. She's used to it and we laugh. Also there are lots of tears of joy and happiness that she is at peace with her past. She happy in her relationship and with her new baby. Of course she still faces lifes little challanges and has lots to still learn about life and dealing with people but she's young and growing.

Yes I have heard of Curves. Some of my co-workers go. They seem to really like it. For me I prefer the gym because I so more cardio then just working on toning. Maybe if they have a free trial it would be worth giving it a shot. Let me know how you like it.

One last note: My daughter had her baby. We now have a boy!!
New G-son is Dakota 7lbs. 10oz. 20 ins.

Have a great weekend,

[Juls]

Hi Pony and Pauline,

Though I'd jump in your thread for a minute to say hi. LOL I have not heard of Curves, but I went to the bookstore to look at the book Perricone Prescription, by Dr. Perricone. It's the hot thing in the skin and health industry (which is my field of business) right now.

There is a 28 day diet for total body and skin rejuvenation, but I don't think I could do that diet if they paid me.

The first breakfast consisted of oatmeal and smoked salmon. Ugh.

It's a sound diet, but very restrictive, and relies heavily on salmon which I don't care for that much.

The other day though, I tried on these pants that I had bought awhile ago. One of those deals where you buy something that doesn't fit thinking you'll lose weight and be able to fit into it. LOL Well, lo and behold, they fit. That made me feel good. However now I decided that I don't like them. It's alright though because I bought them from the Goodwill, and they'll be going back to the Goodwill.

Juls

[Paulie]

I love that name Dakota!!!

congrats again!!!!! a boy how fun!!!

I will let you know what I think of curves, the no cardio had me thinking too.

Juls - jump on in any time, I love hearing from you.
everytime I pull out my veggies with lowfat ranch I think of you

[Juls]

Pony,

Wow, I totally missed that part of your post. Congratulations to you and your family on the birth of your grandchild.

Juls