I'm new here

[phillsphan]

Hey guys, I'm new here and have been struggling with gambling addiction for about five years. It all started for me when I started gambling online, up until then I was a social/controlled gambler. I have gotten to the point where, even when I win a good amount, I feel like crap because I didn't lose.

I've tried quitting in the past but keep going back. I've tried emailing all of the sites that allow US players about my problem and asked them to ban me from their sites for life. This hasn't worked, they have always allowed me to come back. I have also tried sending profanity laced emails(childish I know)to them to get them to ban me for that but even that hasn't worked.

The two things that I have been sucdessful with are working out and asking my wife to talk to me everyday about whether or not I gambled or whether or not I wanted to gamble. Both of these things made me feel better about myself. I really felt better when I could tell her about how I resisted the urge because I wanted to be able to tell her I did.

I will say that my wife has been frustrating because she rarely asked me about it and seems to think that it won't have any effect. I told her that I didn't gamble when I knew she was going to ask me about it everyday but she still thinks it is pointless. She wants me to take a drug or something that will curb my urges. She might have asked me for about three or four days and then just quit. I would remind her and she would ask for another day or two and then forget again.

We just talked again and I asked her again to keep on me about it and the first thing she said is that she is going to read a book about compulsive gambling. She won't agree to ask me about it. I know what motivates me and what motivates me is that I don't want to lie to my wife but she just won't listen.

I can honestly say that whenever I relapse it is when she stops asking me. I justify it because I think that her not asking me is a sign that she doesn't care if I do it.

I know this is rambling but I'd like to know if anyone here has any advice or ideas on how I can motivate myself.

[CarolD]

My addiction is alcohol.....and I find my AA comittment
to be an awesome way of life.

Have you tried Gamblers Anonymous?

Welcome to SR!
Blessings to you and your wife

[phillsphan]

I have tried gamblers anonymous and it didn't help. I don't do well dwelling on mistakes, I prefer to talk about successes and the GA meetings I've attended consisted of the same people telling the same stories every week.

I am hoping to find someone to help me block myself from accessing the websites where I get into trouble.