And I can't gamble EITHER!!

[BigSis]

So my sponsor told me when I started really working my program in Alanon, not to be surprised to discover some other areas of my life that may include obsession and compulsion.

I knew right away that gambling was one area.

When I was all twingled up about my daughter, when I was stressed about my marriage, when I was certain I could not take another night alone with the committee in my head.... I would go to the casino.

And I didn't come home until the money was gone.

I can remember sitting in front of that slot machine, sick from the cigarette smoke burning my eyes and clogging my lungs and ANGRY that the stupid machine wouldn't just take the rest of my "credits" so I could go home.

What kind of thinking is that?

Addict thinking... I think.

[BigSis]

Plus, I NEVER told my husband the actual amount I lost...

If I lost 20, I told him 5... If I lost 40, I told him 20.

But it was always more like 60 or 80... I don't have that kind of money to spend on me. It came from my other commitments.

[best]

and not telling if there is a win doesn't work well either.
Can't tell about a win because telling there was a win means telling where you were when you said you were someplace else.
A big enough win does get told to the IRS though and they tell both parties... well back in 2001 and 2002 you didn't report..... so now you owe.... with penalties and interest to the tune of.... Pay up or we will garnish your paycheck.

What a tangled web we weave....