I'm new to SR and I'm a believer

[thankful1]

Hello all. I've been lurking around and see the support here is incredible. I feel very alone right now, and would like prayer, if you please. I have trust issues and to make a long story short, I have been having a rough time and I am beginning to wonder about 'everything', including my faith. I'm sober, almost at 2 yrs and I was just beginning to see some progress and have gotten very ill. I find when I am ill, its hard to keep my focus on the main thing which is the spirtuality portion, thus slide headlong into depression. Feedback welcome. Thank you for letting me share.

[cmc]

Hi,
Welcome to our forum! Sorry to hear you aren't feeling well..... there are lots of us here who pray for each other and now you are part of it too!
One thing I have learned about having doubts is that when my faith is tested and when I go through periods of questioning things that I believe, I usually come out on the other side with more faith. It is an odd idea- but in my exp- God welcomes us and calls us to explore the walk of faith. One of my favorite sayings is that: 'if I never have doubts, I will never be sure of anything.'
I would say that 2 yrs sober is quite a bit of progress!!!! Good for you- I am a Christian mom of an addict and have lots of others in my life who have struggled with addiction and alcoholism. SR has been a lifeline for me and I am hoping it will be for you as well.
I hope you will keep coming here and keep posting too- glad to meet you!
cmc

[thankful1]

Thank you cmc. I am glad that you responded to me. What you are saying is truth, in my heart, I know it. I also am a mom who has alkie, addict grown children. I guess what is bumming me out the most, is that I think my growth is stunted do to being so ill. I got on my knees last night and I prayed. I asked God to forgive me for disconnecting with Him. I dont want to ask him why I keep going through the same trial over and over again, instead, I told him thank you for the trial, i know they help strengthen my trust, in the end. I'm glad I found this place and I want to learn and grow. Its difficult sometimes at my f2f meetings, as I go to discussions and am finding that when anyone mentions Christ as their HP, ppl get real offended. In times like that I remember that Jesus himself said that many will be offended by Him.

Again, thank you for responding, I was so hoping someone would.

Agape', the thankful1

[best]

I find that when things are going well is when my faith isn't as strong as it could be. When struggles enter my life, I am reminded that God has seen me through every struggle and my faith fills anew.

In Matthew...
“Do not worry then saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Matthew 6:31-34 NAS

The scripture talks of food, drink, and clothes. I feel we can replace any one of those three with any need we may have. Ask and it will be given.

So... Lord, increase my faith and Jesus will do that
Lord increase the amount of love that is in me and Jesus will do that.
Lord give me the strength and grace to get through the struggles that the day may give me and Jesus will do that.

As far as trust issues...people may let you down...God never will.
"I will never leave you nor forsake you"
Jesus is the only one I know that keeps his every promise.
He has proven Himself time and time again in my life. I have no need to doubt that He will continue to do so...as He has promised.

[cmc]

I left something out that I wanted to say.... I am sure you have heard of H.A.L.T.? (hungry,angry,lonely,tired) These are times when we may naturally not be at our best. They are also times when we have to be extra careful-
From my exp. I have made it HALTS....S for Sick.
Just yesterday I had a major problem that had more to do with a physical issue than the event that triggered it. I am also very aware that I can get unwound just as easily without such an excuse or reason!!!!!
But... or should I say .... And? This time it was that I was not well and it left me more vulnerable.
Maybe you can be a bit more patient with yourself- which really addresses the codependent side of things more than the alcoholic/addict aspect of how people view themselves incorrectly.
I often say to myself, "you would be more patient with someone else and their problems than I am with myself"
I have never gone, but I hear that Celebrate Recovery is great and I bet others on this site could share more about that if you ask them to. It is Christian based- so you can talk about our HP all you want to there!!!
It sounds like you are really trying to 'exercise your faith,' what an odd expression- it is Christianese I guess, but you know what I mean- Acting on faith and your thanking Him for the trials.....He likes that I think!

[peeqeen]

thankful,
Gods truth is that you are not alone.God is with you 24-7.He never leaves you nor forsakes you.his word says:
Fear not for i am with you;
Be not dismayed, for i am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, iwill heip you,
I will uphold you with righteous right hand [Isa. 41:10]

the enemy will tell you that your situation cannot be resolved, settled, or cured.he will tell you that what you have is incurable or unchangeable.
when we buy into that lie, we feel despair. hope and joy are drained out of us.and when hope and joy are drained from our lives, depression fills that void.