Desperately Need Prayer

[teke]

i am a recovering crack addict and abused codie(3yrs+), i feel like i am gonna snap. i 've internalizes my feeling since 7yrs old,52 now, beginning with my father's death. oldest of 6 kids, i had to be strong, 6 kids of my own that i raise basically on my own with gods help and 7 grands that need me. not suicidal or anything but a lot of times i feel like death would be a welcome sight. my hubby is active addict and have been for 20yrs. he's gone out of the house finally and good riddens. this is about me. i am so tired of being "strong", my heart hurts all the time, good bad or ugly, up of down doesn't make a difference and now my heart screams for peace.i do read the literature, everything i can get my hand on, i clean,i study and i just sweep. i can't afford drs, transportation, can't walk far due to neck injury, i try to do anything that i can to keep my mind off the pain. i wanted to get drunk but i have made it this far, thank god. would you please pray for me and my kids.

[Morning Glory]

Hi teke,

I will be praying for you. I too lived with deep pain for many years and God healed most of it. He is still working on some of it. I walled my pain in and it required a lot of energy to keep that wall up. I internalize everything also. I really believe that my circumstances were arranged so that I became so tired that I couldn't hold that wall up any longer. It crumbled down and the painful memories came flowing out. I was also screaming for peace and for the first time I actually felt some peace. The peace goes away when God is digging up some deep issues, but it returns again when I shed another layer of pain.

I tell God the truth about who I am to the best of my knowledge and give it to him to fix. I always ask him to show me more and reveal the truth, which sets me free. It can be a pretty painful process. It sounds like you are carrying similar pain. It sounds like you are also getting tired and maybe that's a good thing.

Hugs,
MG

[Just Randy]

Originally Posted by teke

i am a recovering crack addict and abused codie(3yrs+), i feel like i am gonna snap. i 've internalizes my feeling since 7yrs old,52 now, beginning with my father's death. oldest of 6 kids, i had to be strong, 6 kids of my own that i raise basically on my own with gods help and 7 grands that need me. not suicidal or anything but a lot of times i feel like death would be a welcome sight. my hubby is active addict and have been for 20yrs. he's gone out of the house finally and good riddens. this is about me. i am so tired of being "strong", my heart hurts all the time, good bad or ugly, up of down doesn't make a difference and now my heart screams for peace.i do read the literature, everything i can get my hand on, i clean,i study and i just sweep. i can't afford drs, transportation, can't walk far due to neck injury, i try to do anything that i can to keep my mind off the pain. i wanted to get drunk but i have made it this far, thank god. would you please pray for me and my kids.

Can you be more specific about you prayer need(s) Teke? What do you want God to do? The one thing I've learned about prayer is to be specific. Sounds like you need Jesus to renew your heart. To help you sort out the pains so that you can address each one directly, focused. Is that accurate? Like the peace of Christ to move on you?

Drop me a note if you like. For now I'll break away and ask that the peace of Christ come upon you. He *IS* the Prince of peace Teke, that's what he does best.

In Christ, Randy

[MNGirlyGirl]

(((Teke))) You are in my prayers.

[best]

Prayers on the way.

I see in your post that you say me, I, and me doing and you are now tired.

What I have found in my own struggles...
When I try doing, things work till I get tired. I have found that when I turn the "I" into US/WE that things go so much better.
With Jesus filling me with His strength, I get through the stuggle in one piece.
So when i remember...I am one and We are more then one...We get things done easier. For the really hard stuff... Lord please handle this. He is stronger and more able then I ever wil be...Let go and let God handle the struggles.