I will trust Him

[Delta83]

Hello, My name is Delta and I have been reading the board here for some time now but have never posted before, but I would really like to talk to other christians that have been where I am. I have been to alot of recovery forums that really wasn't christian based and I have to say, It's just not the same. I really want to be a part of a group that shares the same love for Christ that I do. I would also like to share a bit of my story with you and get a little feed back on it.

My story goes something like this: I have been drug addict for 29 years, 12 years ago I went into rehad and got off illegal drugs, it was at that time I though I had beat my addictions. Truth is I only exchanged them, after rehab I became addicted to prescription drugs but I didn't think I had a problem because after all, the dr. gave me these drugs, so I must be ok. Even after I started using even more than what was perscribed for me in my mind I still really belived that I was in recovery, that I was fine.

5 years ago I accepted Christ as my personal saviour, He begin to work in my life in ways you would never imagine. I still can't believe some of the things He has done for me. My life has been so blessed, but there is one problem, even after 5 years I was still and addict, and I didn't see it, not untill about 6 weeks ago when things in my live went really bad and God finally got my attention. I couldn't believe what I had done, that I had been so blind, or that God had allowed me to go for so long in my sin.

I begin to wonder if God had truely saved me in the first place..I wondered how God could save a drug addict and let them continue to be a drug addict, but I couldn't look over the fact that he had done so many wonderful things in my life. Things that I knew only He could have done. Things I knew only He could have brought me out of, so how could all of this have been?

I went to a very dear christian friend and talked with her. She knew all that I was going through, and all I had been through in the past. I asked her how is it possiable that GOd can save someone and let them stay in there sins for 5 years. She told me that when God saves someone that there live is not always changed overnight, somethings take time, and the point is not when God reaches you, but that He does reach you. Well Thank God He did reach me, and none to soon, if I had not listened I know with all my heart I would soon be dead, but I know that as long as I stay close to Him I have nothing to fear. He has showed me so many times He will take care of me if I will only trust Him, so as of now.....I will trust Him! Where ever He leads me I will go, what ever He ask of me, I will do.

[best]

I will trust Him! Where ever He leads me I will go, what ever He ask of me, I will do.

Even stop using? OUCH! did he just say that?

What I have found... The Lord is a gentleman. He will not force Himself on us.
We both know when our actions are not right or when we are in denial.
Addicts/alcoholics/sinners... we all do the same. We believe the lies we tell ourself. Part of the illness some say. As a Christian I feel it is also part of our being human and wanting to be in control. When I surrender all and

I will trust Him! Where ever He leads me I will go, what ever He ask of me, I will do.

In each and every part of my life, I find He does things as you said

He begin to work in my life in ways you would never imagine. I still can't believe some of the things He has done for me. My life has been so blessed,

Our faith and trust in The Lord grows daily.
When we both reach that point when we know anything and everything we ask of Him in areas of doing His will and gaining glory for Him...He will give and will give in full measure.
Ask of the Lord and he will give us the strength, courage, conviction, and grace to see us through.... Yes even to stop using.
With faith as small as a mustard seed, as I ask ... is it God's will that I be set free from addictions and sin? When I accept the truth and answer Yes it is His will and then ask of him for His strength and Grace... God has, does, and always will give freely and fully to all who truly seek and ask of Him.
Believe and be set free.

[Delta83]

You said: Even stop using?
I say: Yes, but only with Gods help, and only one day at a time. I believe I am doing that. I am trusting in Him to show me the way. I know can't do it on my own, but I do know also with God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIABLE. Thank God for that!

You are correct, I was in denial, and altho I accepted Christ into my heart, I never did turn it completly over to Him, it has took me 5 years to do that, but for some reason unknown to me, God brought me through all of that, and has set my feet on a new path. I'm not sure where this new path is going to lead, but I am sure that as long as I let God do the leading then it will be the right one.

I do believe, and I do know that I will be set free! Thanks for your post, and God bless to you and your!
Delta

[best]

Originally Posted by Delta83

I know can't do it on my own, but I do know also with God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIABLE. Thank God for that!
Delta

I would say that and think that myself. I was seeing the Lord's touch and changes He was making in my life. Not sure when but at some point over the past few months I started to fully accept and believe the "ALL things" part.
As I said... I had seen it happen in me but maybe I wasn't fully undertsanding it?
Maybe still questioning... Why would God do such for me?
I knew the why. I read His word and know what that says
I think in part I wasn't fully forgiving myself, even though The Lord has forgiven me.
I feel I have reached a point of fully forgiving myself, as He has forgiven me.
That has opened doors and has allowed me to accept His guidance for my future as well. Tomorrow I will see where He wants me to be when tomorrow gets here.

[Blessed]

I believe like you that with God all things are possible, But i must choose to do gods will not mine and with his help i find the strength to overcome the bondage of addiction. I must choose to turn over every area of my life to him. He gives us free will. My faith in him grows stronger as i experience the transformation in my life knowing that i could have never done it alone. I give him the glory! I fill my mind with his word,meditate on it. I pray and seek him every day. I talk to him,he listens... I know he talks to me through his word and through people. I often hear exactly what i needed to hear in a meeting or at church. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. God is at hand, we have the keys through Jesus Christ. God is in the character building business. Thats how we grow. Sometimes he has to get our attention with a sledge hammer. I work the steps, go to church, seek him, and trust him. I share my Love for him...Many times he was the only one there for me. I turn to him for everything. I thank him for everything. I stand on his word, i receive his promises and I am blessed.

[newlifeinchrist]

Psalm 4:4-5 Turning our will over to God is not a onetime experience, It's a moment by moment decision to keep our mind fixed on God's will. Today we don't sacrifice animals on an altar to please God, but we can offer God our life as a living sacrifice. In order to do this we must seek out and then follow God's plan for holy and healthy living. Many people around us cannot see God's work in our life, they se only our past failures. But as we seek God and with his help make changes, our success will allow others to see God's power. NLIC

[Delta83]

I want to thank each of you for your post. It really feels good to be able to speak with other christians that know and understand where i am and where I am going. I thank God for being able to find a Christian recovery forum. It really does make a diffrence. I have tried other forums and it really makes me uncomfortable when there higher power is someone other than the one true God. I have seen them pulling others into there belife system because it was an easier way to go. God's way may not be the easy way, but it is the only way, and that I know for sure.

I know that I was gulty in the past of not turning everything over to Him, but I know now that the only way I can make it is by giving Him control of my life. It has already been proven that as long as I am in control I will fail. Today my trust is in Him. Today I can stay strong because of Him. Today I have faith that I will make it through the day without using because He gives me strength. What more can I ask for? I no longer need will power as long as I have Knee power!