 |
|---|
 |
 |
 |
| | |
|
| |||||||
 | Welcome to the Sober Recovery Community Already registered? Login above ---^ OR To take advantage of all the site’s features, become a member of the supportive Sober Recovery Community. Ads will no longer appear on the forums if you are a registered user |
 |
| | LinkBack | Thread Tools | Display Modes |
01-26-2005, 11:40 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Ugh!  Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Enchanted Elmoland
Posts: 180
| HEHELP i'm so LOST!!!!!
I know this is a usual topic on here, but all morning from 9am till now (noon) I have been reading about what the bible says about divorce. To sum up my situation: I am what I would call a baby Christian in that I am learning about the bible and the ways of Christ. I was raised Catholic, but at an early age I started using drugs to numb pain. I was 14... Now I am 36 I have been clean since I was 25, at 30 I was married, to an alcholic. I thought at the time that the drinking was just due to being young. It has progressed with my husband, he has to drink everyday now. We are in the process of filing bankruptcy, and we don't communicate at all, we have not been "intimate" with one another in several months. According to my religion (Catholic) I am living in a perpetual state of adultery. My husband was baptised and married previous to our marriage and it was never annuled. He is not a practicing Christian, and as far as I know he believes that we are here by chance. That in all the galaxies, planets etc., that there is no possible way that our lives would not have happend. Sad viewpoint to me, but his beliefs. According to 1 Corintians 7:2-17, it is pretty clear to me that if he is not a believer, that I am to stay with him regardless of anything else going on. "13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband." Then there is the whole argument of what the word "Porniea" means. In quite a few bibles it has been translated as "unchastity" but it can also mean, dishonesty, and some think it means pre-marital sex. I'm thinking it could apply to being married to someone who puts drugs and alcohol as more important than his spouse. From Matt.19:3-9 "Some Pharisees approached him, and tested him, saying, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever ?" He said in reply, "Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’ ? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate." They said to him, "Then why did Moses command that the man give the woman a bill of divorce and dismiss (her) ?" He said to them, "Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for unchastity and marries another commits adultery." The one thing that is very clear to me in regards to divorce is that just because your marriage is sad, uncomfortable, and you are at your witts end, does not give you the right to end it. God hates divorce, and yes there is forgiveness, but I feel if you know the laws of God, you should abide by them. Thing is the laws are so difficult for me to comprehend or understand! My head is just about spinning trying to find God's will for me, maybe I need an excorcist more than a divorce huh? Sorry this is running on and on, but I had to vent, and I know someone here may be able to guide me, not tell me what to think of course but offer an opinion on finding the right way. ANY comments are GREATLY appreciated! ~FaithChaser
__________________ There are no short-cuts to any place worth going. ~Beverly Sills |
|      |
|
01-26-2005, 11:53 AM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Psalm 118:24  |
Have you talked with your priest about this? I went to Catholic charities for marriage counselling. It didn't save my marriage but, I did try. I do wish, the Pope would review the standards for divorces. Don't do guilt over this. It does take 2 people to make a marriage. From what you describe, you have a someone that you share a house with. Doesn't sound much like a marriage to me 
__________________ LIFE IS GOD'S GIFT TO YOU  WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD J - Jesus first O - Others next Y - Yourself last John 14:6 |
|
| |
|
01-26-2005, 12:49 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Canada
Posts: 727
|
I can relate Faithchaser.So very much to where you are at today...My faith is Roman Catholic.So as you know divorce was out.But,my heart felt that he wasnt following God,s will,so....Reading the Holy Bible,made me mad.,at that time..I just wasnt ready to,,,hear.Listen.Obey.Follow.I wasnt.Ya know i was so very confused,hurt,angry that eventually i let it all go.I was driving myself crazy.And gave it all to God.Working on me.,only..No more thinking about it all.Really letting go.As im getting a closer relationship with God,im changing inside.Not watching what he is doing.But rather what im doing.A marriage that was hopeless,had hope.only through... His Grace...I ,started to,pray with an open mind,and heart.Which is hard to do,when your hurting,but not impossible,one day at a time.And give it all to God.Let Him guide me.His, will in His Time.Praying before reading,reflecting on the Holy bible,asking God,to guide me,and help me to understand what He wants me to understand.Trust the process.Keep the faith.You will...know...what direction to take.No one knew how this would all turn out for us.Because no one knows God,s plan for another.What may look and feel like its something other than marriage.Can be turned around,by God,s Grace,.If it be His will.Remain open....willing...Let Go and let God.God comes first and formost in my life today. My prayers to you and your man, God Bless,you both... Last edited by Cap3; 01-26-2005 at 02:15 PM. |
|
| |
|
01-26-2005, 03:02 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Don't get undies in a bunch  Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,166
|
What has been posted above is better then anything I can say. What I will say is this though... I have seen that when the heart is not hardened, God does work wonders. Or as in my case... when God softens a stone heart. I am proof of that. Separated for over 2 years... filed for divorce and God changed my heart. We stopped the divorce and have been back together...Happy... for almost 5 years now. I have seen others who have held on and watched their marriage get repaired by God's love as well. I have seen a time or two when it looked like God has allowed one with a cold stone heart to walk away and thus free the faithful one to be set free. What cap3 posted I believe to be the best we as humans can do. Leave it in God's hands and trust Him for guidance.
__________________ * I asked God to spare me pain. God said "No", Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.  Recovery Related Acronym B. E. S. T. = Been Enjoying Sobriety Today? |
|
| |
|
01-26-2005, 03:13 PM
| #5 (permalink) | |
| FORGIVEN!!  Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Gaston Oregon
Posts: 202
| Quote:
 | |
|
| |
|
01-26-2005, 11:20 PM
| #6 (permalink) | |
| loved & blessed  Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: southren, NJ
Posts: 109
| Quote:
Faith : If I'm reading correctly about that previous marriage, I'm not sure if your marriage is even legal in the US. It would be a good thing to get that taken care of. FTL
__________________ God Bless, FTL  | |
|
| |
|
01-27-2005, 06:03 AM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Ugh! Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Enchanted Elmoland
Posts: 180
|
Thank you all very much for your responses. You are correct it is in his hands not mine. Just so you know, you can get a divorce, but it is still not recognized in the Catholic church unless it is annuled through the Catholic Church... Still waiting on HIS will to be known. For now I'm going to continue to take care of me. Going to my bible study today, that will bring me some peace. Thank you, ~FaithChaser
__________________ There are no short-cuts to any place worth going. ~Beverly Sills |
|
| |
|
| Bookmarks |
| Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests) | |
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
| |
| |
© 2011 Recovery Marketing Services, Inc. |
Linear Mode
