hello

[Melanchonika]

Hello everyone.

I am a Christian, 35 years old, struggling with codependency.

I see a counselor wekely , alongside my husband, attend church regularly, read my bible,and have a relationship with Jesus.

I am currently being delivered of legalism after being in a church for 7 years. found out the legalism was rorted in me before i ever stepped fott in their door though. that is what attracted me to the whole scene. getitng away with performance instead of relating and intimacy.

in counseling i am learning about the true/false self concept as well as healing my inner child.

I came here becasue im consdiering attending al-anon again. i need more than just what im doing to keep my focus on me and these new principles 'in my face' so to speak. i didnt like some things about it though, like feeling pushed upon for a sponsor, and being told to come to as many meetings as possible. what kind of freedom is there in that, and still allowing others to 'parent' me and my decisions? (rhetorical question)

i used to be afraid of the al-anon because i couldnt always relate with my deep relationship with God. now maybe since i am healing form the leglaism, i am ready for this. i think i was too immature before in that manner and couldnt integrate my relationship with God with my al-anon recovery. I thought, 'i dont have a higher power, i have JESUS." Now i can say they are both the smae thing. i had such hang-ups back then.

Anyway im totally glad that there are others here who know Jesus and hopefully can relate to me.

[Dawn10]

Welcome to SR,
You are taking positive steps to help your self adn that is commendable. I know your frustration --that you feel you are being pressured into doing things you are not yet ready to do. Just smile and nod your head and go at your pace.
You may want to check out "Overcomers". It is a 12 step, Christian based group that meets all over the country. Check out the website at www.overcomersoutreach.org
It is not as intense in feeling as Alanon, and such, but you still have the accountability and support that we all need.

Hello Melanchonika,

Welcome to Soberrecovery.

I can really relate to your situation. I've been through legalism also. God led me away from it also. He also took me through layers and layers of inner healing from childhood trauma. He leaves no stone unturned.

Look to him, listen to him, follow him, and trust him. He will not disappoint us. His work is complete. We enter into his completed work through faith. We live from faith to faith.

I'm glad you're here.

Hugs,
MG

[best]

Hello Melanchonika

When I stand back and look at the 12 steps, I see them as a readers digest of sorts.
The lessons that can be learned from the steps are lessons we find in the word.
Yes to having Jesus and He being my HP. Still though for me I will call Him, God, Lord, Savior, Friend, brother, Redemeemer, The Lamb, The Christ in public and in my heart call Him my HP but I just don't feel right calling Jesus my HP in public.
AA, NA, Al Anon, Nar Anon,... all strive to reach out with help to all people of all beliefs and at the same time try to teach all people... take what you want and leave the rest. So when I say Lord Jesus... all who hear can take or leave my words as they see fit. My ESH has Jesus as the main part of my growth. To leave Him out would be to share only part of how I found my help and growth towards a better life. Leaving Him out would feel like telling someone how to bake a pie but not tell the the stuff to make it with.