I understand just how you are feeling, but you know God loves you , from the begining of the World . As the others have said , His ways are not OUR ways, and often we need patience to see what He has in mind .
I have been praying for healing for the pain I was in , and guess what , he sent me a Doctor ! ......and one that had an appointment available on my one and only day off ! he really should know that I DONT DO Doctors !
but I did , and guess what ? She has diagnosed my pain as Fibomyalgia ! and she is a Christian to boot !
I am due to go back for my 2nd appointment in about 1 hr, so we will see what we will see.
I have no knowledge of Ultram, it is probably called something else here , so cant really comment on that .
But Brandy , by you having problems with the drug, it has caused you to examine His love for you !
All the very best brandy , hang in there