need direction

[ascar]

hey all, neil here ,alcoholic almost finished with day 141, hope everyone had a wonderful christmas and new years, we had an "alcothon" at our AA group, the christmas one was great, someone had rented a t.v./vhs, brought in their dvd player, someone brought in a stereo, lots of food, it was great, unfortunately not a big turn out for the new years one, oh well.
i need some direction though, i am really grateful to alot of folks in my group, for doing the things they have done for me 142 days ago and from that day forward, but since the last 2-3 weeks, i have been REALLY getting closer to GOD, closer than i ever have in my life, and since i feel that i am moving away from my AA group, i really feel in my heart that they are holding me back from my true meaningful relationship with GOD, not my HP as so many of my fellow AA ers refer to HIM as. GOD has done so many wonderful thing to me and for me my WHOLE life, including leading me to the rooms of AA, i feel in my heart that HE lead me there for a reason, but now am at a stand still, with my group, i really am committed to working the program, this is the only thing in my life i have committed to, i just want to grow more and more with GOD, but don't know how, there are no other support groups in my area, i am an american living in germany, makes it a little hard, if anyone wouldn't mind i could use a prayer on this for GOD to lead me in the right direction. THANKS, NEIL

I'll be praying for you NEIL.

I know God will lead you in the right direction.

Sometimes that's not what we expect though.

If you look at the life of Jesus and the life of his disciples we can probably expect much of the same.

One of the hardest things for me was to give up my idea of what I thought God should be in my life. He took me in the opposite direction than I thought I should go.

You are right where he wants you. Right now, today.

Hugs,
MG

[phoenix]

I am having much the same feeling lately,although I have been sober for quite a while.I have had a Sunday morning homegroup for many years.It worked well with my schedule for a long time.But I have become more interested in church and find myself skipping the meeting to go to a church service.

It feels as if I am being pulled in two directions.And the HP thing is no longer enough for me.I want what God has planned for me,and I am willing to go to any lengths to get there.I have been reading a book called The Purpose Driven Life.It really clarifies for me what God's purpose for my life is and what it is not.

If you haven't yet read it,I'd suggest getting a copy.I am not pulling away from AA,at least not now.It saved my life and that's important.But I am seeing that God needs to be first in my life.That's what has been missing for me for so many years.

phoenix

[phoenix]

Thinking along these lines and listening to God.Perhaps AA can be seen not only as an avenue to recovery,but also as an area of ministry.By ministry I don't mean passing out tracts at meetings,or Bible thumping when it's my turn to speak.What I mean is being an example of what a powerful work God can do.

A long time ago I cried out to God and He answered.I was brought out of the dark pit of active addiction.But I wasn't sure about mainstream Christianity,and I began to listen to my head instead of my heart.I decided that a Higher Power of my own understanding was enough.Yet I always felt that something was missing.Now I know that the emptiness was where I needed to make room for God.Not HP but GOD.That's where the journey was leading.It just took me a while to figure it out.

There are a lot of others in AA just like me.They are on that journey too.The door to their heart is open if only a little.Maybe I can carry God's message by a simple sharing of what it was like,what happened,and what it is like today.If I put God first in every area of my life,His light is gonna shine wherever I go.And that's a great reason to go to a meeting

phoenix

[Pernell Johnson]

It saddens me when I hear my recovering brothers and sisters think that AA is not enough. The fact is AA is mundane and that is where our problems lie, in the mundane (daily activities). There is so much more to AA that you have to remain teachable to accept and get into the full blown impact of recovery. I know this may be hard to accept for those with ambivalent feelings about their "Higher Power" and the direction you need or want to go into. But before you dismiss what I'm saying, give AA some more time, give yourself more time to read and absorb and if that is not enough, go to these websites.

http://av.iugm.org

or

http://www.christians-in-recovery.com


Just for Today--------------------I am Sober

"Can you hear me now"

[phoenix]

Hmmmm....I have "given" AA 14 years and it has been enough in many ways.Enough to teach me to live sober,enough to open my heart to God,enough to bring me to a point in my journey where I discovered answers and became willing to explore new paths.Not leaving AA behind,but bringing a new dimension to my recovery.

AA is not meant to fill all of my needs.The Big Book tells me that.But it gives me the tools to live,to grow and to find a spiritual awakening.The spiritual awakening has been an ongoing journey in itself,and I can hardly wait to see what's over the next hill

phoenix

[ascar]

Thank you MG, Phoenix and Pernell, i was just concerned if i was planting my feet in concrete staying with AA, after reading this in my "setting captives free" course it was saying "repentance has often been describes as doing a '180', meaning we turn away from sin and turn to GOD. this is the very reason that psychology and "humanistic' programs fall short of truly assisting people who are trapped in sin. they attempt tp turn the person away from sin but cannot instruct them to turn to GOD, so they are in essance instructing us to do a 90 degree turn. this 1/2 turning is never sufficiant to truly eradicate sin from our lives. true repentance is not only turning from sin, it is turning to GOD and serving HIM."

[ascar]

i am just mixed with feelings right now, it was like at today's sat. morning mens meeting, here they are praying, talking about God and then cussing, and talking "crap" about their wives, still more cussing etc., makes me cringe.
but like someone brought up to me, there is a big difference between spirituality and religion, which since i am still new in the AA program, and have had this strong desire to get closer to GOD and not just my HP, i don't know which way to turn,
thanks for everyones replies.
NEIL

[phoenix]

I'd suggest going with what Pernell says.Spend time in AA and give yourself a chance to learn about recovery.I understand that the language may put you off a bit,along with the negative talk.Still,we live in this world though it is not our home.

Every time I set foot outside my door I stand a chance of hearing foul language and encountering people with negative attitudes.My choice lies in where I will go and how I will respond.These things never kept me out of the bar or the party store,so I choose not to be kept out of AA.I go into the world,but I put on the armor of God beforehand.

I have a plan today for Christian living.I have an outline for reading the New Testament in a year.I have The Purpose Driven Life,and several other good books.I have fellowship with other Christians,and I am involved in ministry.Those things don't come between me and the AA program.Instead,they enhance my understanding of the program.

I'm really glad you brought this up.It helped me come to terms with some changes I've been going through.I hope it helped you as well.And thanks to Pernell also.I always get a lot out of listening to you.

phoenix