Struggles

[daisey35]

Hi all,
I am new here, and glad to have found this place. I am addicted to Lortabs. I had a car accident over a year ago, and Pain Management and my other doctor put me on them. I'm hooked now. I hate it. I started taking them for the pain. Then I took them for the lift they gave. Now I take them to keep from getting sick.

I am a born-again believer, since October 1999. I attend church regularly. I was never into pills before; pot was always my DOC. I have struggled heavily with that one for the last couple of years. It is especially hard, being a believer, because I know it is a sin, but I got hooked long before I got saved. I tried to quit for a long time. I went up at alter call for prayer. Still, I struggled with it. I went up recently for prayer again (about the pot) and this time, I confessed to my pastor that I was addicted to drugs and needed help. He laid hands on me and prayed and I believe the Lord did touch me then--my pot addiction seems to have been relieved. I no longer crave it like I did, which is a complete miracle to me, as I was a regular smoker for 20 years, and never imagined living without the weed! I give Praise to God for that!!
However, I am still struggling with the pills. I don't understand--why would one burden be lifted, but not the other? I pray and pray and beg, and feel such shame and remorse everytime I take any. I beg forgiveness every day. I carry around such awful guilt--I really want to stop, but am so powerless against it now. I know He is my strength, but somehow, I am still not successful. Am I doing something wrong? What do I do?
Any help would be greatly appreciated! I really want to be clean!! I suffered so long with the pot addiction, and my joy at the freedom from it is overwhelming; I really thought that day would never come. What gives with the pills?

Thanks for listening,
Daisey

[dotcom]

hi daisy,

the day i got clean i got down on my knees and admitted to God i was powerless. that day i became a bornagain believer. up until then, i had been going to church and going up to the alter call...crying and wondering why me? why is it so difficult? its not easy, and God is not going to just say poof be gone and lift our addictions if our hearts arent right. we cant have our cake and eat it too. even once weve surrendered our addictions, we have to be willing to be faithful and put in daily efforts so we can maintain our recovery. its a life change.

God bless

dotcom

Welcome Daisey,

Feeling guilty is not what God wants from us. We can be truthful and honest about who we are without feeling guilty and beating ourselves up. We all stand guilty before God. We get into trouble when the guilt that we feel tempts us to try and save ourselves. We are tempted to make ourselves right before God. This leads us to the sin of self righteousness. This is not what God wants from us. God just wants us to be who we are and be honest about it. He died and took our guilt upon himself.

I'm going to quote Pernell.

Step One

The Paradox of Powerlessness
Bible Reading: 2 Corinthians 4:7-10
We admitted that were were powerless over our dependencies--that our life had become unmanageable.

We may be afraid to admit that we are powerless and that our life is unmanageable. If we admit that we are powerless, won't we be tempted to give up completely in the struggle against addiction? It doesn't seem to make sense that we can admit powerlessness and still find the power to go on. This paradox will be dealt with we go on to Step Two and Three.
Life is full of paradoxes. The apostle Paul tells us, "This precious treasure--this light and power that now shine within us--is held in perishable containers, that is, in our weak bodies. So everyone can see that our glorious power is from God and is not our own. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken"
(2 Corinthians 4:7-8)
The picture here contrasts a precious treasure and the simple container in which the treasured is stored. The living power poured into our life from above is the treasure. Our human body, with all its flaws and weaknesses, is the perishable container. As human beings, we are imperfect.
Once we recognize the paradox of powerlessness, we can be quite relieved. We don't have to always be strong or pretend to be perfect. We can live a real life, with its daily struggles, in a human body beset with weakness and still find the power from above to keep going without being crushed and broken.


Just for Today-----------I accept myself as I am


Step Two
Coming to Believe
Bible Reading: Romans 1:18-20
We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Saying that we "came to believe" suggests a process. Belief is the result of consideration, doubt, reasoning, and concluding. The ability to form beliefs is part of what it means to be made in God' image. It involves emotion and logic. It leads to action. What, then, is the process that leads us to solid belief and changes our life?
We start with our own experiences, and we see what doesn't work. Looking at the condition of our life, we realize that we don't have enough power to overcome our dependency. We try with all our might, but to no avail. When we are quiet enough to listen, we hear that still, small voice inside us saying, "There is a God, and he is extremely powerful." The apostle Paul said it this way: "For the truth about God is known to (all people) instinctively. God has put this knowledge in their hearts"
(Romans 1:19)
Recognizing our internal weaknesses is the first step toward recovery. When we look beyond ourself, we see that there are others who have struggled with an addiction and recovered. We know that they, too, were unable to heal themselves, yet they now live free of addictive behaviors. We conclude that there must be a greater Power that helped them. Since we can see the similarities between their struggles and our own, we come to believe that our powerful God can restore us to sanity. This is where many people are when they get to Step Two, and it's a good place to be on the way to recovery.

[phoenix]

When I pray it helps me to remember that God's word tells me go forward in faith that my prayer is being answered.Maybe it doesn't feel like it,maybe the answer doesn't come right away,but the prayer IS always answered.My job is to put my faith in that even though I may not see it.

One of the hardest addictions for me was cigarettes.I struggled with it for years after I was clean/sober in every other way.Finally I knew I was beaten and yet I still could not seem to let go.So I gave God permission to pry it out of my grasp if He had to do it that way.I finally trusted the promise that God does for me what I cannot do for myself...even in this.Quitting did not become easy.The addiction was not instantly lifted.But I went forward in faith,and endured the hardship and I have not had a cigarette in over six years.That is the power of an awesome God.

Pray and know that He hears and He answers....always.

phoenix

[2stop]

Thanks for sharing that Phoenix, very helpful, and inspiring.

Daisy, Take it easy on yourself, find a program that works for you, make the commitment...and stick with it..I know about pain pill addiction, 20 yrs worth...it is not easy but it IS possible, keep praying....and believe. I strongly believe that what we seek...we shall find. I will have you in my prayers.....**Hugs**

[ascar]

thank you to all of you here on this site,PRAISE GOD, ALL of you are an inpiration to me, especially the new folks, make me realize how far i have come (139 days today) i too got on my knees 139 days ago and admitted to GOD that i was "powerless" and my life had become way to unmanageable, and that HE and only HIM could take all this away, and no it doesn't just happen, you have to WORK for it, you have to give your ALL to god, not some of it, but ALL of it and totally commit yourself.
hey i also wanted to say to everyone, HAPPY NEW YEAR, and THANKS FOR BEING HERE, AND FOR YOUR SUPPORT.
NEIL

[daisey35]

Thanks so much, all--just what I needed to hear.
You guys rock!!

God Bless,
Daisey