Please pray for me on this and my friend too, please

[sapphire0303]

I posted this elsewhere, but am postiing it here as a prayer need..
If someone could take the time to read this and pray please....
Thankyou...

____________________

I didn't know where to place this post..


It's not exactly an inspiration post, though I suppose, for someone, it could be a pause for reflection.


Today, after a year and a half out reach to a friend, a penpal online who is also a recovering addict and alcoholic, I got wind of him calling me a "stranger"
today..

Keep in mind, as I say, this is after a year and a half of daily communique,
at a public forum, me trying to be friend him best I could and very much encourage him in his Christian walk and faith..

Eventually, I came to realize, for a few reasons at the time, that it was best for me to back away and really give my friend to God.

I have not said a single word in 4 months as of this week.

And now that I am gone this long, it seems, I am being written off, at least by him, at least today,
as a "stranger".


It's not like I could go back and say anything to him about this, but this declaration on his part was incredibly painful.


Soon after I read it, I wept,

profusely.



That was earlier this morning.


I get that my friend is in a far country and seems to be find with it.
I get that he seems to NOT see a true distinction between saved and unsaved folks, and that unless he and I communicate, or communicate on
"his" terms, as of today, anyway, seems he has written me off as a nobody, or a "stranger".


But I was a sincere and genuine friend to him. In fact, I reached out to him two years ago this summer, at a time when he may not have been so hard hearted and cocky to come back to my blog and say such hurtful things to and about me.

I am a Christian and so my standard may not not like everyone else's.
In order to better serve God and be even MORE honorable in my behavior,
I had to back away from this friend, though this was a platonic friendship, it was the right thing to do. I said this, when we know better we do better,
though we may not always do it in the EXACT time we are supposed to.

Can I be blamed for this?


I still say he was *my friend, and I will never look at him as less than someone I have and did and do genuinely care for.


But what exactly are my options as a child of God to demonstrate in an even more profound way about purity and holy?


There were times it was incredibly painful talking with my friend and as he would post scripture more it became evident he was probably living a completely different life than what he preached.

I DON'T and didn't look down on him for that. Many people have tender or weak times in their faith, especially younger ones (he's under 30), and I so get that even the best can fall sometimes, I hold none of these choices or compromises against him, I just hope soon he can be TRULY free in Christ to live for Him pure, not some OTHER version of the gospel and God's Will that has nothing to do with a Holy Spirit, and is really kind of an abuse of grace.

I can't say that now. I can't say any of that now, and, in *MY obedience as a child of God I had to stop talking with him and go away.

I never meant to gain his trust and hurt him by going. but in all honesty, how long could I stay? Like I shared when we know better we do better.
Though by and large our talks were sharing God's Word and me admonishing him, he is now a prodigal, if he's even saved at all, in a FAR country, and it pains me that I can't be there for him, but it was not fair to expect that of me. And now it seems he may have written me off as a "stranger", because I can't talk with him now and have gone away.


A year and a half of talking everyday as a penpal at a forum and now I am just a "stranger", because I want to be MORE obedient to the LORD????


Can ANYONE relate to such pain????


I wept this morning over such a comment he would send to me. Of course, as I shared, I cannot reply to him, but the hardening and closing of his heart towards me that his SIN life should SO blind him and harden him to who I am and was to him is beyond me.


It was and has been absolutely grievous to my soul to see my friend
with bad company who daily corrupt his ability to really live for Christ free and
truly see and be.

I send this out to anyone who KNOWS they are doing the RIGHT thing before GOD and has their BEST efforts maligned, dashed to the ground as 'nothing' and lied about and misunderstood...


if you have felt ANY or ALL of that today, *I so understand you!!!



I am hurting today, and if anyone here at all, Christian or not, can relate to my story, I NEED the hugs and comfort to go around...


it is INCREDIBLY PAINFUL to give a friend to God, but FAR WORSE when such a friend should write you off (in this case *me), as a "stranger",

just because I will NOT swerve or change from walking closer to Christ, and

sometimes, THAT means, NOT being in contact with a friend,

simply because, at that juncture, it is the RIGHT thing to do.




Will you PLEASE pray for me today, for inner HEALING from these lies and slanders about me my friend NOW believes due to his corrupting company?


And will you pray the FATHER shows my friend his true and great ERROR and just how much such lies about me and lack of truth and appreciation are very hurtful, and wrong and sin?

At this point, I have no ability to go back and defend myself.


And even if I could, it would not really change the poor choices he's making
in terms of how he's been living very backslid, and the

far country he's been living in.




Ever wept when you were maligned by a friend for doing the RIGHT thing?



That's *me today, my friends.



I need as much outreach as possible the pain has gone on SO long.


And now it is worse, my friend has chosen lies about me as his companions continue to lie about me and poison him in his heart and mind about me and whisper lies, and slander in his ears.



Also, this experience has given me a NEW appreciation for ideas and words like surrender, and
trusting God in the process of detachment..


I never really understood about the words powerless before until this friend of mine..

HE has given new and complete meaning to the phrase "powerless" for me this year that I NEVER wanted to learn..


To suggest I am now a "stranger" after a long time of prayerful help, support and friendship is like ultimate denial to me..


How some can allow carnal alliances to so dig their hearts into the depths of death to pretend I was never a friend, as this backslid friend goes it without God, solo,

is unparalleled gaul to me..


I forgive him I really do..


I just don't understand why I had to have this experience..

To teach me why I would end up doing the right thing?


I did not need to learn this...


To show me others can miss my friendship and I can only pray about that?



To watch me see a friend, from a distance choose bad company and get in with them to be more blind and more hard, more and more and more?



I suppose I must be CONTENT that, at least, as of today, I am simply a "stranger"
to this backslid friend, my ...seems.....happily lost Christian brother...


Some said he may not even be saved..


I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt..
I never expected perfection..


Can't say he gave me the same courtesy...




Any spirit other than the Holy Spirit is the REAL stranger...
and who and what does not speak from Him..



I need prayer now for healing more so..



I never expected this level of hurtful, demonic attack...


I was completely sincere, and, eventually, I had to go..


Does this mean I was never sincere or a real friend?

No, it does not...



This experience I WISH the LORD would give me more peace healing and guidance about it..


I had grieved so much for this friend and prayed he finally come back to Christ,


but these days he lives with idols....idol worship....'rock star' gospel....




It's hard to say anything when you are being misjudged, sliced down and attacked, and after awhile,
I don't know why, but I was..


Now I am written off as a "stranger"..


And sinful companions called the "hero" as of this morning by him in the same breathe..



It's so sad and stunning to me...



I would never think of him as a no one...



A sad day for him,
indeed...




I ask you to please pray Jesus save him from himself and
have HIS way in this friendship,


and open my friend's eyes to WHY this is best now that I have gone and WHY
HE is so far gone and hard and blind his sin has made him so blind to spiritual REALITY..




I am not perfect, One perfect one..
but this much I know...



Painful day for me..

[cmc]

sapphire....I wouldn't consider such a person my friend in the first place. Friendship is a two way street. The healing comes once I accept things as they are not as I wish they were.

[sapphire0303]

sapphire....I wouldn't consider such a person my friend in the first place. Friendship is a two way street. The healing comes once I accept things as they are not as I wish they were.

~thankyou



that's just the thing
I am married...and
it was right for me to go
you know?
like I said
it was platonic
but it was better that I back away and go
so now he seeks my friendship
but I can't talk


I mean I just can't



now he may feel I am a stranger or was never his friend
because I can't talk but it's a lie




I will always care for this person and be his friend in spirit



I simply had to go
I could not let a dependency on me occur


even if he was a fair amount younger than me

I am saved and married


does this not make sense?





so



I still pray for him everyday




but my going away does not mean I was not his friend!!!



that's the sad part




his suggestion is that I was never a friend


by calling me "stranger"



yet I cried so much for the kid,
I may as well have given birth to him


:^(


now



when you know better you DO better



I knew better than to stick around and talk...



he was lonesome for a Christian friend



and I kept trying to share with him scripture and the Word of God...


I got slapped upside the HEAD so much by him


just for sharing GOD's TRUTH



and the cracks about me


*shakes head



calling me grandma, (in their 30's or 40's? )all sorts of jokes at my expense




but I continued to be around to cheer him
share God's Word


at times I felt like a regular punching bag

FOR WHAT????



Meanwhile he was off in 'hog' 'heaven'
far country



Well... :^( you get the idea..



but I never meant to HURT him


and he's so hellbent now he's almost forgotten who I am and the friend I had tried to be...
he calls sin 'holy' a regular mess indeed.. all because he's backslid DEEPLY..and immersed in such living

I forgive him ALL of it.....whether or not he is my brother in Christ

(He talked a good...talk.....But other things made me really wonder..)


More than this I trusted things he said and was GENUINE


but how could he possibly expect me to talk at that level
as a saved and married person???


I mean I am faithful

and I was....doing my best...

when we did speak

just faith talk..

but now this friend says things about me that are SO wrong and
SO sad and So false


it's almost like he never knew me at all


all that care and tears and prayers and outreach for WHAT?????????!!



*sighs




meantime....he's at the hanky pank convention


I just tired of that I felt like some guy crying out in the wilderness to folks who kept closing the windows



more than this....I had to back up...


Now this friend says all this BAD stuff about me

like I didn't talk to him for over 300 days



Man, I exist...



I reserve my right in Christ NOT to talk


it's honorable and better than saying anything now, really..




it's not just that he disappointed me with his "real" Christianity



like I shared, I forgive him for it ALL



I love my friend
I always will



he just needs to stop and understand about my life..


I pray he someday will understand


I am a married person



Though it was platonic,like I said,


*I take vows seriously




We do..



not to suggest I was not by talking there
but still..


so



please pray for them and me

[GodsHolyWill]

Hi sapphire! As I was reading your post I was thinking about Jesus and how He went from town to town preaching the Word to people, even though some did not listen to what He had to say. It wasn't a waste of His time because all are His children and He wants all of them to be saved, so I don't think your reaching out to this person was a waste of time either. God saw your good intentions and whatever you do for the least of these, Jesus takes it like you did it for Him. So consider you did it for Jesus and offer it up to Jesus and try to move on. ((Hugs)) I'll be keeping you and your friend in my prayers!

[gr8ful42day]

Sapphire, I will of course pray for you and also your friend.

Just a question to try and understand....did you just 'walk away' disappear without explanation, or did you explain to him why you were distancing, backing off from friendship?

[sapphire0303]

It wasn't a waste of His time because all are His children and He wants all of them to be saved, so I don't think your reaching out to this person was a waste of time either.

thank you for your kind words..and taking the time to answer me

I didn't want this post to swerve off to a Bible answer dissertation :^)
just that in my faith we are not 'all' God's children..and though God wants all to be saved not all are or will be,
so, not all are His children or saved..
The Bible doesn't say that 'all' are His children,
and that's not how I see it..I'd lie to myself if I thought God's Word read that way
(just to say) No offense and all, but it is a significant point pertaining to light and darkness
that I can't dismiss...

If we are 'all' children of God, there would be no need for Christ to have suffered and died and all he did to save men from their sins for those who call on Him in saving faith, because we'd 'all already be His kids by default, so why would He need to die for any of us if we already 'all are His kids?

Though I can see how God made all people in His image and helps guide them at times too..
The position of a child of God is just different..We are His kids..



here's a Bible verse and link which may clarify:

http://www.gotquestions.org/all-God-children.html

http://bible.cc/galatians/3-26.htm


anyway..

I do believe my friend WAS saved, or wanting to be, anyway,
even if now he may not really be living it..

I could be mistaken and if so I also ask prayer for his salvation..

I never thought reaching out to my friend was a waste of time, didnt mean it to come off that way,
and
it was a bit causing me some grief to go away, for sure, that I had to go
I knew I had to

but, I do appreciate your thoughtful words and reply though.. :^)

[sapphire0303]

p.s anyway, on that last comment..please don't be offended by my reply
I was not wishing to point on one comment to make anyone an example,
I just see that aspect of scripture differently
and on those topics, that's the part some get confused on to their detriment...it may seem like a fine point...but not living and knowing the distinction has brought many into stressful and confusing places in their lives or worse...I know this...I have seen and heard of stories...just like my friend...

I am thankful for who ever was kind enough to reply to me here though
and I am very thankful for all your kinds prayers

:^)

[sapphire0303]

sapphire, I will of course pray for you and also your friend.

Just a question to try and understand....did you just 'walk away' disappear without explanation, or did you explain to him why you were distancing, backing off from friendship?

__________________


no I explained I did



sometimes friends may just be hurt mad or frustrated with a decision
so we just need to pray for my request here
that friend would continue to understand
and all I asked for prayer

[sapphire0303]

GodsHolyWill, my apology friend, a bit tired here..
perhaps I should have left the Bible clarification
in another post/section..did not mean to get into that here

I know you meant well with what you said..

and you were just trying to help
which is so great

I am just so on fire for God's Word
sometimes I don't think through
at the moment when where to say, though usually
I do..

anyway..

You guys are all great for your kindness!!!

bowcoo huggs to you

this had gotten me down
just need the prayers
thankyou

please

[gr8ful42day]

Originally Posted by sapphire0303

__________________


no I explained I did

and all I asked for prayer

Good you explained. You asked many questions I misunderstood and thought you wanted prayer AND encouragement....so..well then, IMO, FWIW, all you can do is pray and concentrate on you and your walk. God used you as He needed for a 'season' in your friends life. You planted the seeds you could. Try not to let his words 'offend' you, it will only hurt you and iirc, that is also a sin . Try to move on from this hurt and and thank God for using you as a vessel in doing the work needed at the time and keep praying for him. I will too. Hugs my friend.

[sapphire0303]

Good. Well then, IMO, FWIW, all you can do is pray and concentrate on you and your walk. God used you as He needed for a 'season' in your friends life. You planted the seeds you could. Try not to let his words 'offend' you, it will only hurt you and iirc, that is also a sin . Try to move on from this hurt and and thank God for using you as a vessel in doing the work needed at the time and keep praying for him. I will too. Hugs my friend.

~thank you :^)


yea, you're right

You guys are all right



just keep praying please and thankyou

all you can do is pray and concentrate on you and your walk.

~exactly ! *smiles


this was my conclusion too

thankyou

[sapphire0303]

Good you explained. You asked many questions I misunderstood and thought you wanted prayer AND encouragement.

I did/do

*smiles


LOL

*rolls eyes

[gr8ful42day]

I hope you are having peace today.

[sapphire0303]

I hope you are having peace today.

~yes

thankyou

*smiles


all youall's prayers are working


hehe



:^)



it started to get better yesterday
last night to be specific




Jesus bless you all for your outreach to me

amen

[GodsHolyWill]

Hi sapphire! No problems! I'm keeping you in my prayers!

[sapphire0303]

GodsHolyWill


thankyou

*smiles

4 the grace my friend :^)



sweet

You are kewl in Him

[Lily]

Sapphire,

Thanks for your post. Could see your heart out there. Yes, I have had friends I have met online and I believe they have been real. Because you see, love believes the best. However, God can take people out of our lives. Even if it is misconstrued as to what is going on w/ us and them. (I had a friend recently write me off) but when I looked back at our friendship I found out it wasn't healthy at all, and that she had been kind of a poison in my life with her gossip. Interesting thing I learned is usually when someone says mean things, it is them with the SAME problem. However, with that information I am learning to discern and put on LOVE. Those people really do not need me playing Holy Spirit in their lives.... I pray that you would move on and let JESUS heal your broken heart, it will get better. Mine too is pretty fresh...happened on Feb. 5th. I have branched out and met some great Christian ladies whom I wouldn't have otherwise.

Blessings in HIM! Sheila

[sapphire0303]

Sapphire,

Thanks for your post. Could see your heart out there. Yes, I have had friends I have met online and I believe they have been real. Because you see, love believes the best.

I was real
he was sincere,
but struggling to genuinely walk his faith
which made for compromise in his life,
and so..
a schism in him..flesh verses faith..
carnal life verses Holy walking.. etc.

However, God can take people out of our lives. Even if it is misconstrued as to what is going on w/ us and them. (I had a friend recently write me off) but when I looked back at our friendship I found out it wasn't healthy at all, and that she had been kind of a poison in my life with her gossip.

~yea, I know the Lord wanted me to go away...
*I am not the type to gossip nor did I have poison, not that you're saying that, I understand you're just relaying your story..

I feel it was not so much his poison, and definitely not mine, as the influences he fell in with..
it changed him to the degree that that and his sin which accompanied it made him harder towards me and somehow changed him, even just a bit from when we met,
and not in a good way, bad company and sins corrupting influence

so more and more all those bad things were kind of coming out on me and it wasn't like him and I am not sure he even saw it
it was so unfair....but best that I backed away at the time I had to leave
I am always praying for him though about all those things

We never wrote each other off....it was more of just a me saying I must go now and place you in God's hands but will be praying..

I get that your story with that friend is different, but just to say..

[sapphire0303]

~anyway

I forgive him any and all hurt
or offense

I gave him to the Lord quite a few months ago..
in terms of communique...like I shared there is none..


I know in my heart that at the time
in the circumstance,
I was doing the best and the right thing to do..


All I know is that I have to keep walking my walk, and our walk, with Jesus..
*I can't walk out anyone else's walk for them, nor work out their salvation,
(if you know what I mean...)

Please just keep praying for my healing from that, and
peace and ..it is coming...
and that my friend will continue to place Christ first
for his ultimate deliverance and healing...

It really IS about Him first
and everything else DOES fall into place,
eventually..

I have seen it in my own life, sincerely..


I pray my friend knows this and catches that vision
for himself..


O well..


thank you all..


serenity...

I am at peace with my decision, it was right before God.
I just ask you keep praying what you have this week for me..
I am thankful for placing it in His hands..
and tried to just...step back and so,
ok..

[IO Storm]

I am grateful today for what He has given, and what He has taken away. Every experience has led me to the place where I am today...which is for the most part,
serene. But those experiences....so many of my own making, were so painful! What helps me more than anything is to seek God's will early, first thing in the morning...focusing on what He has for me today. It becomes exciting and surprising at what or who comes up...someone to help, or encourage, especially if they have gone through a similar experience and just a few words of hope can change a day.

Blessings and prayers)))