Paralyzed by Perfectionism

[cmc]

Daily New Life


Monday, September 6, 2010


Bible Reading:Matthew 25:14-30 "For it is just like a man about to go on a..." NAS - Online Bible Study

We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry it out.

Perfectionism can paralyze us. Perhaps we've been shamed for not being exactly what others wanted us to be. Now the shadow of their unrealistic expectations is cast over how we see ourselves, creating unrealistic expectations for our progress.

Jesus told a story of a man who loaned three servants money to invest for him while he was away. The first two men invested and doubled the money; the third hid his money in a hole. The third servant saw the master through the eyes of fear. He "came and said, 'Master, I knew you were a harsh man, harvesting crops you didn't plant and gathering crops you didn't cultivate. I was afraid I would lose your money, so I hid it in the earth. Look, here is your money back.' But the master replied, '. . . If you knew I harvested crops I didn't plant and gathered crops I didn't cultivate, why didn't you deposit my money in the bank? At least I could have gotten some interest' " (Matthew 25:24-27).

When we measure ourselves by others' expectations or by our own need to be perfect, we may not even try. All God asks is that we try to do something with our abilities and resources. When we allow ourselves the option of just making modest progress, we'll find courage to try. Even the least improvement is better than being doomed to complete failure by our perfectionism.

Being willing to try will open the door to new aspects of our recovery.




New Life Ministries

Taken from The Life Recovery Devotional: Thirty Meditations from Scripture for Each Step in Recovery by Stephen Arterburn and David Stoop. Copyright © 1991 by Stephen Arterburn and David Stoop. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved.

[mikefreak]

I was raised in a church that preached unattainable/impossible perfectionism, which really was a negative influence that discouraged me & made me "give up" at a early age.
Now I realize is all you can do is live your life -as you know you should -to the best of your ability-under the guidance of the LORD.
Luv ya!!!

[gofish1331]

This brings to mind the story of the widow that put two small coins of little value into the collection box and how Jesus said.... (Mark 12:43-44) .*.*.“Truly I say to YOU that this poor widow dropped in more than all those dropping money into the treasury chests; for they all dropped in out of their surplus, but she, out of her want, dropped in all of what she had, her whole living..*.*." As long as we are doing the best we can in serving Him, that is all He asks.

[BadCompany]

Originally Posted by mikefreak

I was raised in a church that preached unattainable/impossible perfectionism, which really was a negative influence that discouraged me & made me "give up" at a early age.
Now I realize is all you can do is live your life -as you know you should -to the best of your ability-under the guidance of the LORD.
Luv ya!!!

I was raised in the same church. I always felt less than. I knew there was some kind of disconnect. I tried really hard, but just couldn't attain what I saw portrayed.

The spiritual journey of recovery has exposed, for me at least, what was wrong. It wasn't what they were saying that was the problem, it is what was missing.

Humility. Reverence.

God does set the bar high. Very high. Beyond human reach. I'm not God, I am human with all the failings and weaknesses that entails.

When I deny my sinfulness I'm all kinds of sideways with God. I am denying his salvation/ forgiveness when I pretend I don't sin. With any dalliance with perfection I am telling God that I don't need him. I am now putting my perfectionism between me and God.

For us humans, perfection has only produced one thing, failure.

[cmc]

That reminds me of this verse:
"If we say tht we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us."
1 John 1:8-10

There's no such thing as a "good Christian" or a "super-saint"...we are all sinners in need of His grace.

Here are some of my favorite Steve Brown quotes about his topic:

• The people who use the term “Doctrines of Grace” don’t generally have any grace. They are likely the meanest people you’ll know.
  
• If this is our message, how come we still live in the prison of our mind? Why does religion eat us alive? Why are we so guilty? Why are we so mean?
  
• A lot of Christians believe that holiness is defined as meanness and that if I can be as mean as God, I too can be holy.
  
• “Guilty people make others feel guilty. You can always tell how guilty a person is by how guilty you feel in their presence. Free people make people feel free.”
  
• “God, I am not good, but I’m Yours.”
  
• “You wouldn’t be so shocked at your sin if you didn’t have such a high opinion of yourself.”
  
• “The default of a Christian is self-righteousness and the law–thinking that we can add something to the sufficiency of Christ.”

[Morning Glory]

Beautiful words. Thank you.

[gofish1331]

“God, I am not good, but I’m Yours.”
Thats brilliant

[teresaq]

that seems to be my problem...i was researching a particular area and came across 'avoidance personality disorder', something like that...it hit me hard.

i become absolutely paralized...