"God"

[utopia]

I was afraid. Afraid of being judged and reproached. Being demonised and inviting false prophets to come and "save" me. I don't need saving from other Christians. Inviting the non-believers to bask in my questioning of faith, to let me know just how lost i was to ease their own feelings of guilt and self-reproach. I don’t need to be saved by non-believers or atheists.

I need solace and peace and a resolute faith in turning my will and life over to God as I understand God. For me it has been Jesus. I find comfort in the name, in prayer, but sometimes i feel a sense of limitation at church, a sense of empty ritual and not really feeling connected to the ritual, sometimes I feel a sense of the blinkers are on myself and other parishioners.

I feel the church has lost it. The obsession with saving the world has lost the church the sense of saving itself and fostering its own members freedom?? It feels akin to how I used to try and save my family and “the world” but forgot to save myself, forgot to really turn and examine my personal relationship with the higher power.

This is just how I feel for today......

I find when I bring up my doubt/concern/seeking I find some Christians meet me with a sense of being labotomised but I question the faith, the Bible, the church. I find some atheists and non-belivers bash my religion and make scorn and hate towards Christianity to the extreme and they don’t see how that is just the same as a zealous Christian hating people for being what they deem as “unholy, against God, not right”. Hate on both sides for the same intention, the same attitude, the same sense of rightness and “knowing the REAL truth”.

I question how can I be a “Christian” or a believer when I don’t agree with all in the bible. I don’t agree or feel the nEW testament sits right with me.. parts of it do.

But how can i base my faith on something in part? How can i foster it? How can i reclaim the aliveness of my faith without the dogma and ritual dragging me down. How can I find the spiritual freedom and newness within my faith? How can I claim to KNOW the true faith when what is truth anyway?

How can I put God in a box and claim to know what’s right when If eel that my Christian faith makes itself to be the true way and only way. Hmmm. my concept of Him changes again. less personal and more profound. I want perspective esp. on anyone who relates to this?

[luckedog]

You raise some interesting questions. There are no quick easy "in a box" answres, however. allow me a little time and I will try and respond to some of the issues you bring up.

[cmc]

If the Christians you meet are as hateful as you say... I suggest you try another church.

I question how can I be a “Christian” or a believer when I don’t agree with all in the bible. I don’t agree or feel the nEW testament sits right with me.. parts of it do.

It depends on what your definition of what being a Christian involves. I'm not sure how anyone can accept something they don't believe in. It doesn't make sense to me.

If attending church is an empty experience- that is about your perception. Worship styles can vary from one extreme to another...yet I have never found church to be boring or a lifeless experience. That is because I have the Lord living within me...and my worship is about honoring Him.

It's really none of my business to judge how other people in church feel when they worship God. You say, you don't believe it all anyway...so how can you know what it's like for those who do?

If it's Jesus that you seek....ask Him to guide you into His truth; He is there for anyone who is willing to accept and follow Him.

[luckedog]

Yea cmc I agree-"If it's Jesus that you seek....ask Him to guide you into His truth; He is there for anyone who is willing to accept and follow Him."

I had several pages ready to post but I think I will just delete them- your comment is so approiate! Thank you
__________________

[utopia]

what I question is I have felt Jesus, love jesus, call to Jesus but then what I have felt conflicts with what it says in the Bible. In the Bible it says to marry someone else after you divorce is adultery and I think thats harsh and untrue. amongst other things. if i just "take what i like and leave the rest" from the bible isnt that a bit rich and self serving. doesnt that make the bible just the same as any other book. doesnt that mean that god is in all things, all people, all books and I find Him how he speaks to me, not what the bible says, this bible on which my religion is founded? and maybe if its not the bible which is supposed to be the word of Jesus is the bible truly just a document of some people and not the word of jesus at all? not at least his direct word?//////when i question i feel i get attacked because i make others question their faith and they dont like it.


i question if it is Jesus because the Jesus I have in my prayers is not the one i read in the bible. for me Jesus wouldnt care if i was gay or str8 or if i was a divorcee getting married.

??????

[jamdls]

I consider myself to have strong christian beliefs and like you I have often felt that church was an empty experience. I didn't grow up reading the bible, I was raised a Catholic. As an adult when I've attended church it has been mostly inter-denominational bible churches, most have been very wonderful and peaceful, a few made me never want to go to church again. In the last 10 years I've been reading the bible and yes the bible says if you divorce and remarry you are committing adultery; I've been married and divorced twice and I consider myself a good Christian. The bible also says if your hand offends you to chop it off, or if your eye offends (i.e. looking at someone other than your spouse w/lust) guage it out....I do not believe that was the literal intent. I think the bible is an amazing historical book but the bible was not written by God nor by Jesus, the bible was written by human men hundreds of years after these events occurred; the stories were passed down through the generations and like any stories that get past down the facts can become altered. The bible also appears to support men having multiple wives, and does not condemn what certainly sounds like incestuous marriages. I was reading a chapter in the old testament and this guy says he sees an image with 4 heads and it's pretty creepy, I don't believe that. I was raised to believe in a loving forgiving God and that's what I believe in. I believe God makes us who we are and if we are gay/straight/trans/white/purple/black/yellow etc that that is how he made us, and perhaps he did makes us all so different so that we could learn from another and learn to love and accept the differences. I now attend a Methodist church and at every service we are reminded that "our sins are forgiven" so the fact that I married divorced and remarried I am forgiven.
I believe that if you lead an honest life; believe and have faith in the true God; and that his son died on the cross for our sins; truly repent for your transgressions that this is what God wants from us.
I don't condemn atheists I just don't understand them and cannot fathom living life w/o the support I get from my faith.

[cmc]

In the Bible it says to marry someone else after you divorce is adultery

It's possible to take a verse such as this one completely out of context...and many do. I could probably find tons of such verses and 'use' them to prove a point of my own choosing...However and this is a huge truth: If taken in context and as a whole, there is truth to be found. There are verses that describe it being permissable to leave or divorce a spouse.

The greatest thing about being a bible believing person is that no matter where I find myself, no matter what situation I'm in--- God will 'start' with me from the point or place where I am. There's no disputing that many, most...maybe all divorces happen due to some sort of sin or 'character defects' as we call them in recovery.

I'm pretty sure that God doesn't want me to chop off my hand if I am a thief....but the point is well taken that if I continue to sin- I'm headed for more pain and that pain will harm others beside myself. That pain that results from my sinful actions could be described as compared to an amputation.

Knowing the 'entire' bible allows me to know His heart, His plan and most of all His amazing love & grace. God is love....and that is taken directly from the bible both in verse, content and ...intention.

I believe the bible is the inspired word of God...otherwise anyone could write it and make things up as they went along. It's a book about sinners and people who commited atrocious acts (everyday people)...and how all that 'human-ness' relates to faith and who God is.

The facts, history and prophetic content more than prove to me that the bible was not merely 'written' by men. They were written on paper by scribes..., the content remained consisent; that's not my opinion- but is a proven historical/archeological fact. If it were mere heresay...that would make it all untrue..and would prove Jesus to be a liar or snake oil salesman. I don't see why anyone would want to base a life on a myth or a fairy tale.

Utopia...it appears that you are on a journey to seek what it is you truly believe. That kind of honesty is not often easy to work through- I often find myself looking inward to discover what I truly believe- and it can be a struggle at times to sort it all out. God's love is unconditional...but if every sin I commit is 'okay' with Him...then there was no need for Jesus to ever be born on this earth.

There's the love of God and then there is the justice and even judgement of God- the two are intertwined. I love my son...but when he was a toddler I wouldn't let him play in the street- if he disobeyed me, there was a punishment or deterrent put in place by 'me' to keep him safe.

Keep seeking and I pray that you will find your way into truth, faith and freedom.