Is there a God? Why isn't He with me?

[Yesterdaysnumb]

I just called my husband's voicemail and there's a girl on there. He's cheating. He just called and I confronted him about it and he said, "I didn't call you for this."

So first his relapse... then this. I dont' know if I can survive this? I pray, I depend on God but then the rug gets snatched from under my feet... what can I do?

I'm a mess...

[CAPTAINZING2000]

You're not the mess, your husband is.

Let me see if, I understand this, you heard a girl in the background on his voice mail???

[Yesterdaysnumb]

Originally Posted by CAPTAINZING2000

You're not the mess, your husband is.

Let me see if, I understand this, you heard a girl in the background on his voice mail???

No. I AM a mess... I should've never stayed this long.

The girl left a message saying "Hey baby, just calling to say good night. Call me in the morning. I'll leave my phone on."

[aasharon90]

Is there a God? Why isnt He with me?

Many times Id look in the mirror with
tears rolling down my cheeks seeing
this sad hurt face looking back at me
asking why me.

My faith as a Catholic growing up I
believed deep within my heart that
there was a God or a Power greater
than myself up Above me watching
over me.

There were many hurtful things I endured
over the years but dont recall ever
blaming God for them.

My faith allowed me to rely on that
Power for strength and guidance
thru prayers. Just merely talking to
my Higher Power as often as possible.

Faith has grown with me over the
years as ive experienced many miracles
as i call them in my life. Too many things
that have unexpectantly happened
when i placed my will and life over
to that Power Above me.

It's not for me to ask why anymore yet
just accept the things I can not change.

My recovery in Alcoholic Anonymous
is not by mistake yet a blessing in
my life. My marriage of 25 yrs ended
not by mistake but a change to
something more glorious than I
could ever expected.

Today I share my experiences
strengths and hopes with those
that wish to hear what it was
like before during and after
recovery.

Today I have a wonderful purpose
in life and that is not by mistake.

It's joy and graditude filled within
my heart to share my lifes journey
with u and others blessed from
God of my understanding.

I cant speak for u or others, however
u will know in ur deepest heart if
God is with u and guiding u each
day.

[cmc]

What did you expect to hear when calling his voicemail? The constant focus I had on what my son was or was not doing led me to a very bad place. I can't stress it enough you to you YDN....if I continue to focus on things I can't change- nothing good comes of it...instead I invite more pain into my life.

That old saying about going to the hardware store for bread rings true.
What it meant for me was to stop checking up on my adult son- to stop listening to stories about what he was doing and to detach from the insanity of addiction.

I was under the delusion that by 'knowing' more about how things were with him that I would somehow have a small measure of control. I felt that if I knew the situation better...that it would somehow help me deal with the situation.

The truth for me was not only was that not happening- I was getting worse and until I started to actively work on my own recovery- on the reason(s) I allowed things to go so far...not much changed.

There's a line in the opening message of Al-Anon:
"The family situation is bound to improve as we apply these principles."
Thankfully for us, that bit of wisdom did prove to be truth.

[Yesterdaysnumb]

I can't keep my composure anymore. I have to go home... I can't cry like this at work.

[cmc]

Is there a God? Why isn't He with me?

When I'm hurting I often feel like this too.

The truth is that He "will not leave you nor forsake you." I realize that you know this-- I'm just reminding you that He is showing you what to do and He is offering you support via the people here and by His own loving hand.

He's with you- let Him help you, please allow Him to show you a way to not only survive this but come out on top of things. Sadly....many others have gone through the very things you are right now- they can show the way to a better life- if you let them.

[TTOSBT]

I am sorry for you.
BUT it is not God that is not there for you, it is your husband.
Please invest in your faith a little more and your codependency (checking HIS vm) a little less.
If you work on YOUR spiritual condition, God will show you the way and he will never leave you.
Maybe God knows better than you?
Maybe God is doing for you what you can not do for yourself. Maybe opening your eyes to the reality of the situation. Breathe, take care of yourself, and keep praying. More will be revealed.
But truly, in my humble opinion.......God has not left you. He is there for you. Now it is time for YOU to be there for you.
:ghug2

[cmc]

I'm praying for you right now. God is close by to the broken hearted. (((YDN)))

[NeedingHelp7]

I was under the delusion that by 'knowing' more about how things were with him that I would somehow have a small measure of control. I felt that if I knew the situation better...that it would somehow help me deal with the situation.

to stop listening to stories about what he was doing and to detach from the insanity of addiction.

This is true YN....you know enough now. And as my sponsor says, "ignorance is bliss" sometimes.

God protect you and your children. Turn AH over and over and over again to Him.

Huggs honey. I know how your feeling, I've been there too. It's a devastating sad time for you. Just hold on. God is coming to rescue you.

We love you, and God loves you enough to let you know what you heard and saw. You don't need to know any more. NH7

[rayofsunshine]

Originally Posted by TTOSBT

I am sorry for you.
BUT it is not God that is not there for you, it is your husband.
:ghug2

I agree... God will get you through this. Your husband is sick
with his addictions. As much as we want them to change, YDN,
sometimes they are just not ready. Maybe you needed to know
this so you can move forward. (I know I had to have him do it
again, to show me that separating was what had to be done for
my sanity and my children's.)

You deserve peace and joy and love... YOU are worth it!!!!

:praying

[MrsMagoo]

I always feel a little closer to God when things are upside down. I know He is at work and when things are going "good", I almost wish they weren't because I get a bit complacent in my faith.

Someone recently shared with me a technique they used to step away from their addict and it has truly worked wonders for me the past 3 weeks.

They told me to envision carrying my husband, like you would a child, in your arms and laying him at God's feet (or in His arms) and walking away. It is truly liberating to feel the freedom of living your own life and all the extra time and the peace is a comfort.

Walk away for now.

[Yesterdaysnumb]

One day I'll survive. Today, I just have to at least exist. I've really made a mess of my life.

[NeedingHelp7]

YN..... thinking of you....

sending big huggs.

[CAPTAINZING2000]

Originally Posted by Yesterdaysnumb

One day I'll survive. Today, I just have to at least exist. I've really made a mess of my life.

This doesn't always hold true and pardon me if, it sound sexist but, a guy will marry a woman hoping she won't change and a woman will marry a man hoping to change him.


I've no clue what, you want to do or, what you're going to do with your marriage. Trust and respect our 2 key ingredients needed to make a marriage work. Sadly, these two are missing from your marriage right now.

They say, alcoholism is but a symptom of our disease. I can be a drunken S.O.B. take away the alcohol, I can still be an S.O.B.

When, no kids are involved, this is a no brainer. However, you still have kids with each other, one of them not even yours

Sadly, an alcoholic hurts everyone around him as well.

[rayofsunshine]

:ghug and :praying

Thinking of you too... hope you're able to find peace and have a little
fun with your kids over the weekend.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. - Phillipians 4:13

[cmc]

Originally Posted by Yesterdaysnumb

One day I'll survive. Today, I just have to at least exist. I've really made a mess of my life.

Acquiring a greater awareness, acceptance, willingness, and a teachable spirit combined with some brutal honesty has changed me and brought serenity back into my life. God wastes nothing that happens to me; in each, every, and in all circumstances, I am here to learn and grow and change.
I am able to make my life better with God's help and with the wisdom He makes available to me to make necessary changes.

Change is possible and God has a good plan in mind. He's in the life changing business.

[Yesterdaysnumb]

I'm better today guys. Thanks for thinking of me enough to reply. I've done some soul searching and I know why I stayed so long.

[jamdls]

Hope you are doing better today, in '94 i learned my husband was cheating on me and ultimately we divorced, at the time it was devastating and I'm sure I also asked "Is there a God" but ultimately his infidelity and his leaving me turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to me, I know that doesn't help you now but maybe this is the nudge you needed. God doesn't close doors w/o opening another.

[Yesterdaysnumb]

Jamdls- That's the very quote of scripture that I have hanging on my bathroom wall. Thanks for the encouragement.

[jamdls]

I have it hanging on my bedroom wall as well as the footprints in the sand one, and I seem to notice them at just the right times.

[CAPTAINZING2000]

I have the footprints and serenity prayer in my bathroom

Good way to start each day !

[rayofsunshine]

I was looking at a magazine that sells prints at lunch.. one of the pictures had this
saying... I wrote it down so I could post it ... Glad you are feeling a little better!

God doesn't give us what we can handle;
God helps us handle what we are given.

[Yesterdaysnumb]

LOL@ I just noticed that I said it was a scripture! It seems so true like a scripture.