Forgiveness??

[anubus]

I had something weird happen to me today, and not sure if it is God steering me, or just coincedance. So thought it would be good to hear everyone's input on forgiveness.

What happened was, I was at work (taking care of a special needs boy), and while he was playing I read a Joel Osteen book. The chapters I read dealt with forgiveness, forgiving our enemies & people who have harmed us, etc. I didn't think I had any problems with this, because I always prayed for frogiveness for my XHB....since day 1 when he left, and still pray for him & his current wife, etc. And with my latest XABF, I pray for him, and feel like I forgave him, etc. I am still hurt & confused over the XABF, I know it will take time to heal and move on from that.....but I thought I had forgiven him & prayed for God to forgive him, etc.

But oddly, when I got home, my lady friend left a message on my phone.....she heard somebody on the radio talking about how we have to forgive in order to move on (the exact same thing I was reading today....very odd). She said maybe I that was what I needed to do......forgive XABF. Hmm, I thought I had done that.....but sure seems like God was talking to me today, with the strange coincedances!! Just trying to figure it out.

[ANGELINA243]

I don't know whether I believe in the term "coincidence" anymore. I have had alot of things happen here in my life recently which I do believe are from God. I am growing in my spiritual walk, but I do still have some problem areas--one of which is forgiveness--almost exactly like what you describe. I don't think that is a coincidence.....just a reminder of what I need to do. Thanks for posting.

[CAPTAINZING2000]

coincidence is God working in your life anonymously

[anubus]

And this is weird too.......but a few years ago I kept being drawn to a certain scripture on forgiveness. I just KNEW in my gut this scripture was calling me. I have jsut split with XHB, so my first response was to pray to forgive him. I still felt this feeling, so then I prayed for his mom ( I had serious issues with her).....but still felt this undone feeling. I mentioned it to a freind of mine, and she immediately said "YOURSELF.......YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE YOURSELF". That hit me like a ton of bricks. God wants us to forgive ourselves too!!

[cmc]

Sometimes I find the need to "re-forgive" when an old resentment crops up anew- or a new one resurfaces. Either way, I don't want to rely on my emotions but rather first on obedience to God and secondly on good self care by not letting that old stinkin' garbage stay in my mind or heart.

[anubus]

Well, I thought about it alot, prayed, and talked to 2 close religious friends. Then I went to God, humbly asked again for forgiveness to the X's, and then as one friend suggested, I asked for forgiveness for whatever I may have done wrong in my relationship with ABF. Even though he is the A and did alot of horrible things to me, I reacted in not so nice ways alot of times, not understanding alcoholism & how he must feel inside himself. I also may have "cushioned his fall" several times, therefore possibly interfering with God's attempts to HELP him realize........I did these things before I found Alonon, when I didn't know any better......but had never specifically ask for forgiveness for MY actions......so I humbly did so today, and immediately felt a peace.
Thanks for all the suggestions!

[Lily]

I agree w/ CMC about re-forgiving. I too have to do this. I will think something is totally gone, then it will resurface.

Good thing God isn't like that w/ us.... as far as the east is to the west.... amen!

now if we could just be a tiny bit like Him!

[IO Storm]

What Lily said...

Amen!

[Fluttering]

Because our resentments sit and fester sometimes for a whie forgiveness may come in stages and is a process much like our recovery in regards to peeeling away the layers of the onion..I have also found that at times the forgiveness needs to include myself for my part in whatever it was