More bad news.......

[NeedingHelp7]

During the beginning of the visitation yesterday, I was appproached by 2 people that my husband had been cheating again.

Not surprising, confirmed my suspicions anyway, but his level of inhumaneness just repulses me.

He puts on a christian mask to protect himself, plays the worship music in the car, puts the gospel ringtones on his phone....blah blah blah...

I'm feeling very sad today.

Please pray for me and my child.

Thankyou

[cmc]

Sorry for more bad news. God can see into the heart...both yours and your AH.
What concerns me is the word 'again' as in 'cheating again'...what are your plans?

[NeedingHelp7]

yeah....again....Even though I shouldn't care, and already knew, just didn't know who....it still bothers me. I called the other woman this morning after being given her name and #. I told her I was given news she was AH girlfriend. I asked her if that was true. She said..."no comment. Don't call here again." I hung up. We're still married, and it's still adultery, how can one not feel that?

It's just another hurtful blow...I've been in my jammies all day. Another day of grief. In one way I wished I hadn't been told, in another way I'm thankful the truth came out.

[baileyboop]

The storm will pass. I'm not sure what you are seeking..but regardless of what you are seeking..just give it to Jesus.
Praying for you...

[NeedingHelp7]

Thanks baileyboop.....This too shall pass was told to me 3 times. Thankyou.

Feeling much better today.

[baileyboop]

I am so glad to hear that...

[NeedingHelp7]

The other amazing thing is this....

There were 2 who witnessed my AH going with and spending the night w/ the other woman, a mother and her daughter. The daughter, age 17 or 18 now used to come to my home and visit as a little girl w/ her mother. She was about age 6 or 7 at that time.
When she used to visit, she would tell me about her "angel horse" named Gallop. She told me alot about Gallop...that he was a bright beautiful rainbow colored angel horse... that sometimes he used his wings to fly and sometimes he didn't need to use his wings....that he would come to her room at night and take her for rides around her apt.... He would sing songs she said so loudly that sometimes she couldn't sleep.... Gallop would sing songs of the bible "Genesis, Exodus, Duet...etc...."... She told me that Gallop could only come to her if he had permission from Jesus. She told me one time Gallop was coming from Heaven to Earth, and in the middle there was demons that Gallop had to fight, and once got his leg broke, but Jesus healed it immediately.... There is no way this girl could have made that up.... One time Gallop was given permission to come to her for a week straight during school vacation.... During that vacation she came to visit me and guess who came with her??? Yes...Gallop!! I could feel his presence so powerfully, but she could see him. This girl was always so special to me, and I never forgot her, nor her angel Gallop.

This is the same girl who witnessed my AH spending the night w/ the other woman this summer. You just never know....how things will turn out... and what God will allow you to find out....

NH7

[IO Storm]

NH..

In praying for you..I am impressed to say...God is keeping His hand upon

you and your child. Don't look to the left or the right, and trust Him

for all the answers. You will eventually get them. The one thing about

Jesus is..he desires truth. He is Truth. It will all come out...

Keep your eyes on Jesus, NH, don't despair, and trust Him for everything.

He is faithful and just to supply all of your needs and bring about a solution

to this, and all of your problems.

Continued prayers for this difficult, and heart wrenching time.

[baileyboop]

Thinking of you today, and praying that all is well for you.....

[NeedingHelp7]

We have a visit today.....please pray for safety for son and I.

[NeedingHelp7]

I didn't do well today....

[cmc]

NH...Do you have any f2f support at this time?

[baileyboop]

You probably did the best you could do at the moment presented. Praying for you to find strength and peace for your life...

[baileyboop]

Hoping to hear from you soon. It will be okay. Just give it to God, and things will be made anew...

[NeedingHelp7]

I was angry all day....I said some very mean things to AH.

[baileyboop]

Originally Posted by NeedingHelp7

I was angry all day....I said some very mean things to AH.

Sometimes that happens.... once the anger subsides, reflect, learn, and then go ahead with a fresh start.

It helps me to pray ahead of time before I see my XAH each time I know in advance I am going to see him. It helps me to release the control and have a calm disposition. A couple of times, when he is angry and trying to engage me, I simply give myself a time out. I tell him something like "Give me a minute please" and I'll walk away. It gives me time to collect my cool and my thoughts.

Don't beat yourself up too much. It happens..to all of us.

Thinking of you...

[NeedingHelp7]

I felt no calm disposition this time. Even after saying the Lords prayer on the way to visit, and praying the night before. I almost knew beforehand, it was going to be too much to handle the way I felt. He knew it too, and didn't care. He said the word "acceptance", and that made me mad because I don't know what he meant. I told him acceptance is one thing, but his view of acceptance is "shove everything under the rug" like it never happened. I guess I have no choice but to accept the aweful hurtful circumstances he put this family through. We have to start over son and I, adjust our lives accordingly, and he thinks it's so easy, and it's something we never wanted to have to do. We just aren't built for that kindof pain over and over and over. He gives me no break before I'm hearing some other disgusting thing about him in this community. I just wanted to come home, and be at peace, but I couldn't. My chest was still tight today. It's not very often that happens, but I know I'm not in good company and good space when it does happen. It was a long day!!! I love my little one though, he gives me more smiles than a mom can handle.
Talk about undconditional love. He loves daddy like he's everything.

I have support people to call, and I called and called them. Thankyou cmc. Were waiting for a domestic violence counselor to come to the city, it should be soon.

I'm trusting the Lord...but yesterday my stress barometer spoke volumes.

[baileyboop]

Like I said, you did the best you could at that moment in time. Now that moment is now gone. Let that stress barometer come back down some. Look at how strong you are!!! You are going to make it one way or another. I have faith that it will work out for you in the long run. Just keep waking up with the promise that mercy is new every day.

I'll say a special prayer for you tonight, and I am thinking of you...Take care, my friend.. God bless you...

[IO Storm]

Praying for you Needing...

Maybe it it is time you and he talk without your son present. And with a

third party if need be. Just a suggestion...

Hugs

[NeedingHelp7]

I feel better today. Son talked to law guardian today.

As for talking with someone else...we've tried that with pastors and counselor. It's very difficult because AH is very evasive and hates confrontation and truth.

[anubus]

Sending prayers your way!