This is difficult to write......but.... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

DJMH · 10-01-2008, 11:42 AM

Please pray for me and my family.

My best friend, my disease, alcohol, turned into my worst enemy and destroyed my marriage. And he is not done yet. You see, my wife and I were joined not only at the hip, but financially too. I dont know how either one of us will make it on our own and she has the kids!!!!

I have always been a religious person, starting way back when I was an Altar boy. And thru the many years of my marriage and family, God has always answered my prayers when times were tough.

Ironically when my wife was asking me and pleading with me and begging with me, and fighting with me, I was too gone to hear. At that point I had abandoned God, and when that fateful day came, I realized or at least felt that God abandoned me too.

So....I ask all of you to pray. Pray for my wife and kids, that they will be ok. Pray that I will be able to get the help I need to restore my life. If it is possible please pray that one day my family may be restored.

jurneyman · 10-01-2008, 12:14 PM

Since I don't know God's will is for you and your family, I will just pray for you to listen for and hear God's will for you and be given the power to carry it out. A prayer you can say to help you sort out the many decisions you will have to make in the future, a prayer that I have used many times in the past, and that I am in fact using today, to help me find the answers to get through a difficult time, is The Serenity Prayer,
God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I can't change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. God your will not mine be done, and may God bless you, and your family during this difficult time in your lives.

***cmc*** · 10-01-2008, 07:27 PM

Welcome to SR and to the Christians In Recovery Forum!
Like we say in my Al-Anon meetings:
Keep coming back!
It's nice to meet you.
God bless you and your family.

anjoo · 10-01-2008, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJMH

At that point I had abandoned God, and when that fateful day came, I realized or at least felt that God abandoned me too.

[Hebrews 13:5] I will never leave you nor forsake you.

Prayer sent brother.

IO Storm · 10-03-2008, 02:25 AM

I will pray along with you for God's will to be done in your and your family's

life. As Jurneyman suggested..only you can pray for the knowledge of

His will for you and the power to carry that out. Of course, He wants to

free you from slavery to alcohol. He has all power to do that!

He freed me, I am no longer in prison.

And, if He did it for me, he can do it for you.

Prayers for your recovery, DJMH.

Welcome to SR.

Lily · 10-09-2008, 04:16 PM

DJMH,

God is a God of deliverance. He is also in the business of restoring families. Of course it is HIS will for you to get clean and sober and to reunite you to your wife and children.

Can you get to an AA meeting?

Would you like to know how you can truly be right with the Lord? message me!
blessings, Sheila

prayers going up for you!

DJMH · 10-22-2008, 09:20 AM

I have been going to AA meetings nightly.

Stubborn1 · 10-22-2008, 09:23 AM

I have to agree that God builds families. It was your free-will that tore the family apart and you seem to have given it over to God. Nothing but good things can happen. Walk the walk and talk the talk and you will be rewarded. You are in my prayers.

rozied · 10-22-2008, 09:33 AM

Dear DJMH, You know God's Will is for you to be sober. He also wants families to be togeher but remember He gave each & everyone of us free will. I pray you beat this addiction to alcohol, and I pray for God to take care of you & your family. As far as God restoring your marriage only He knows if that is possible. You also have to consider how your wife feels about it. I pray with time she sees you are serious & can find it in her heart to give you another chance, but it would be in God's time not yours.
IMHO the worse thing you can do is try and push it.
Love & Prayers,
Diane

DJMH · 10-22-2008, 01:05 PM

Well I just got a voicemail from her. Today is our 20th wedding anniversary. I left her a voicemail myself this morning telling her that I had set up a marriage counseling session for us.

She told me that she wont be attending. That she feels this is the best thing for us, and that she is doing this for her and the kids.

My faith is being really tested right now.

IO Storm · 10-22-2008, 04:15 PM

I will pray for you...it must be a trying and lonely time.

I strongly suggest you hang out in meetings as much as possible!

Lily · 10-22-2008, 10:07 PM

I am going to continue to pray for you to stay sober and for her heart to be softened. Hang in there. Have you tried a meeting yet?

blessings, sheila

applesncream · 10-22-2008, 10:57 PM

I will pray for you !! God knows her heart as well as he knows yours. Keep your FAITH and HOPE strong. don't let the troubles between you and her come between you and God. If you keep praying and doing the right thing the right thing will happen, sometimes quickly sometimes slowly just be prepared to do the work. The right thing WILL happen. I will keep praying for you and your family.

DJMH · 10-23-2008, 06:34 AM

Yes...I have been going to meetings since the 27th of Sept. I am making my peace with God...and I also know that I am suffering from a mental illness of this alcoholism and depression too.

God forgive me, but at some point in the near future I am going to end this pain. There are just too many issues I can not overcome, and......if I am to be condemned for an eternity of suffering I will gladly accept that for the pain I brought my wife and kids and the pain they will have to endure when this is over.

But it is for the best for them. I dont want my children to loose their love for their mother. If you have a physical disease, you do everything you can to stop it. Well my family has a terrible disease and that...is me. Better to let me go....than put them thru any more hell.

Bernadette · 10-23-2008, 08:23 AM

DJ-- am I reading thoughts of suicide in your post??

Please get help now.

Your deep depression is understandable.

You "leaving the planet" will not at all change the past and will only burden your kids with further sorrow.

Get help!! Call an AA 12th stepper or a crisis hotline.

Each day you have a choice to continue turning your life around. Do the hard work - you will find peace, dignity, and be a shining example to your kids.

My father put us through all kinds of alcoholic hell & insanity (for me for 15 years - for my Mom for older siblings 25 years!!). In the end he found AA and recovery and a quiet respite in his Catholic faith and he ended up being the sanest most enlightened of all us!! I loved him completely and I forgave him and he made his amends to all of us kids and he died a peaceful & much loved and respected grandpa!

Peace & (((((hugs))))) and don't give up!!!!!!!!!!!!
B.

***cmc*** · 10-23-2008, 09:28 AM

DJMH.......
This is not a solution; but only brings more pain.
There IS help.

I'm praying that you will seek out the help you need to get through this.

Here are some resources for you:
USA National Suicide Hotlines
Toll-Free / 24 hours / 7 days a week
1-800-SUICIDE / 1-800-784-2433
1-800-273-TALK / 1-800-273-8255
TTY: 1-800-799-4TTY (4889)
Or, call 911 and ask for help. Tell them you are in suicidal danger.

There is also help available on this forum here on SR:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/mental-health/

DJMH · 10-23-2008, 10:21 AM

Thanks....the thing is...I dont know if I am in real danger or not. I am showing some of the signs, I think. Scary stuff.

IO Storm · 10-23-2008, 01:36 PM

Quote:

There are just too many issues I can not overcome, and......if I am to be condemned for an eternity of suffering I will gladly accept that for the pain I brought ......

June 8, 2006, lying on a bed in a hotel room....I was thinking the same thing

DJ! A knife in my purse. Praying to my dad and to three babies I had lost in

heaven because I didn't think God heard me anymore. Speed in my system.

An itchy wig on my head. Hair gone..Bruised body. Homeless.

I had gone too far.

God did intervene that day in a miraculous way..and I was instantly

delivered from the craving and effects of amphetamine pills.

I actually thought my children, mother, sister, brother would be "better

off" without me...

I know now how terribly selfish my thinking was at the time.

The suffering most likely would have been the end for my mother..

even though I had hurt her so.

My children, sister, brother, would never stop suffering..and my grandkids.

My granddaughter is so much like me...

My experience that day was so profound..I could "feel" the drugs leaving

my body. I sensed the Lord's presence. I sensed Him telling me that

I had to face up everything I had done...everything. I suddenly realized

in a flash, that this was why I had wanted to kill myself.

Not to spare my family. I could not face reality..and the consequences of

my actions. I cried out to Him.."Okay..You want me to live...I will, with

Your help. But how can I face everything?"

There have only been a few times I have heard an audible voice..so

still, quiet and gentle...but I heard Him when he said "I will go with you."

And He has, DJ.

I've cleared a lot of wreckage..and there is a lot to clear yet.

I may still face serious repercussions..but I know Who will be right beside

me..I am not as one without hope..never!!

And neither are you..

Place your faith and trust in Christ, DJ.

He forgives to the uttermost, and His everlasting arms will never

let you down.

Hugs

Toomutch · 10-23-2008, 01:40 PM

Sending prayers up for You and your family.

Jadmack25 · 10-23-2008, 07:11 PM

Prayers for you all.

IO Storm · 10-24-2008, 12:57 PM

Still praying, DJ...

Wondering how you are today...

Lily · 10-24-2008, 02:02 PM

Please know that suicide is not the answer for anything. It will continue to hurt your family for years to come. Know that Jesus loves you and don't let the devil rip you off. You can experience joy in the midst of your circumstances, you just need to surrender to Christ and seek help from a professional.

(((prayers))) Sheila

rozied · 10-25-2008, 06:16 AM

If you think ending your life will be the best thing you can do for your wife & kids your thinking is not right and you should get some help,. Suicide is a very selfish act, plus if you are a Christian you know The Lord hates suicide. God put you here for a purpose & it is up to HIm when it is time for you to go home.
Please get some professional help.
Love & Praters,
Diane

SerenityGirl · 10-25-2008, 10:23 AM

DJ, I promise you things will get better. God has a plan for your life, just put your trust in him. My prayers are with you and your family too...

10-01-2008, 11:42 AM	#1 (permalink)
DJMH Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 36	This is difficult to write......but.... Please pray for me and my family. My best friend, my disease, alcohol, turned into my worst enemy and destroyed my marriage. And he is not done yet. You see, my wife and I were joined not only at the hip, but financially too. I dont know how either one of us will make it on our own and she has the kids!!!! I have always been a religious person, starting way back when I was an Altar boy. And thru the many years of my marriage and family, God has always answered my prayers when times were tough. Ironically when my wife was asking me and pleading with me and begging with me, and fighting with me, I was too gone to hear. At that point I had abandoned God, and when that fateful day came, I realized or at least felt that God abandoned me too. So....I ask all of you to pray. Pray for my wife and kids, that they will be ok. Pray that I will be able to get the help I need to restore my life. If it is possible please pray that one day my family may be restored.

10-03-2008, 02:25 AM	#5 (permalink)
IO Storm IO Storm Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Southern California Posts: 10,210 Blog Entries: 1	I will pray along with you for God's will to be done in your and your family's life. As Jurneyman suggested..only you can pray for the knowledge of His will for you and the power to carry that out. Of course, He wants to free you from slavery to alcohol. He has all power to do that! He freed me, I am no longer in prison. And, if He did it for me, he can do it for you. Prayers for your recovery, DJMH. Welcome to SR. __________________ "God holds me still in the eye of the Storm"

10-22-2008, 04:15 PM	#11 (permalink)
IO Storm IO Storm Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Southern California Posts: 10,210 Blog Entries: 1	I will pray for you...it must be a trying and lonely time. I strongly suggest you hang out in meetings as much as possible! __________________ "God holds me still in the eye of the Storm"

10-23-2008, 01:40 PM	#19 (permalink)
Toomutch with a new light in my eyes Join Date: May 2007 Location: Littleton, Co. Posts: 2,328	Sending prayers up for You and your family. __________________ Good friends are like stars..... You don't always see them, But you know they are always there

10-24-2008, 12:57 PM	#21 (permalink)
IO Storm IO Storm Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Southern California Posts: 10,210 Blog Entries: 1	Still praying, DJ... Wondering how you are today... __________________ "God holds me still in the eye of the Storm"

10-01-2008, 12:14 PM	#2 (permalink)
jurneyman Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Western N.Y. Posts: 233	Since I don't know God's will is for you and your family, I will just pray for you to listen for and hear God's will for you and be given the power to carry it out. A prayer you can say to help you sort out the many decisions you will have to make in the future, a prayer that I have used many times in the past, and that I am in fact using today, to help me find the answers to get through a difficult time, is The Serenity Prayer, God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I can't change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. God your will not mine be done, and may God bless you, and your family during this difficult time in your lives.

10-01-2008, 07:27 PM	#3 (permalink)
*cmc* Community Greeter Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: FL Posts: 9,994	Welcome to SR and to the Christians In Recovery Forum! Like we say in my Al-Anon meetings: Keep coming back! It's nice to meet you. God bless you and your family.

10-09-2008, 04:16 PM	#6 (permalink)
Lily Ephesians 2:8 and 9 Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,325 Blog Entries: 3	DJMH, God is a God of deliverance. He is also in the business of restoring families. Of course it is HIS will for you to get clean and sober and to reunite you to your wife and children. Can you get to an AA meeting? Would you like to know how you can truly be right with the Lord? message me! blessings, Sheila prayers going up for you!

10-22-2008, 09:20 AM	#7 (permalink)
DJMH Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 36	I have been going to AA meetings nightly.

10-22-2008, 09:23 AM	#8 (permalink)
Stubborn1 Ph.D in insanity!! Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Florida Posts: 701	I have to agree that God builds families. It was your free-will that tore the family apart and you seem to have given it over to God. Nothing but good things can happen. Walk the walk and talk the talk and you will be rewarded. You are in my prayers.

10-22-2008, 09:33 AM	#9 (permalink)
rozied rozied Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: PA, USA Posts: 1,179	Dear DJMH, You know God's Will is for you to be sober. He also wants families to be togeher but remember He gave each & everyone of us free will. I pray you beat this addiction to alcohol, and I pray for God to take care of you & your family. As far as God restoring your marriage only He knows if that is possible. You also have to consider how your wife feels about it. I pray with time she sees you are serious & can find it in her heart to give you another chance, but it would be in God's time not yours. IMHO the worse thing you can do is try and push it. Love & Prayers, Diane

10-22-2008, 01:05 PM	#10 (permalink)
DJMH Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 36	Well I just got a voicemail from her. Today is our 20th wedding anniversary. I left her a voicemail myself this morning telling her that I had set up a marriage counseling session for us. She told me that she wont be attending. That she feels this is the best thing for us, and that she is doing this for her and the kids. My faith is being really tested right now.

10-22-2008, 10:07 PM	#12 (permalink)
Lily Ephesians 2:8 and 9 Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,325 Blog Entries: 3	I am going to continue to pray for you to stay sober and for her heart to be softened. Hang in there. Have you tried a meeting yet? blessings, sheila

10-22-2008, 10:57 PM	#13 (permalink)
applesncream Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Washington Posts: 24	I will pray for you !! God knows her heart as well as he knows yours. Keep your FAITH and HOPE strong. don't let the troubles between you and her come between you and God. If you keep praying and doing the right thing the right thing will happen, sometimes quickly sometimes slowly just be prepared to do the work. The right thing WILL happen. I will keep praying for you and your family.

10-23-2008, 06:34 AM	#14 (permalink)
DJMH Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 36	Yes...I have been going to meetings since the 27th of Sept. I am making my peace with God...and I also know that I am suffering from a mental illness of this alcoholism and depression too. God forgive me, but at some point in the near future I am going to end this pain. There are just too many issues I can not overcome, and......if I am to be condemned for an eternity of suffering I will gladly accept that for the pain I brought my wife and kids and the pain they will have to endure when this is over. But it is for the best for them. I dont want my children to loose their love for their mother. If you have a physical disease, you do everything you can to stop it. Well my family has a terrible disease and that...is me. Better to let me go....than put them thru any more hell.

10-23-2008, 08:23 AM	#15 (permalink)
Bernadette Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Boston Posts: 969	DJ-- am I reading thoughts of suicide in your post?? Please get help now. Your deep depression is understandable. You "leaving the planet" will not at all change the past and will only burden your kids with further sorrow. Get help!! Call an AA 12th stepper or a crisis hotline. Each day you have a choice to continue turning your life around. Do the hard work - you will find peace, dignity, and be a shining example to your kids. My father put us through all kinds of alcoholic hell & insanity (for me for 15 years - for my Mom for older siblings 25 years!!). In the end he found AA and recovery and a quiet respite in his Catholic faith and he ended up being the sanest most enlightened of all us!! I loved him completely and I forgave him and he made his amends to all of us kids and he died a peaceful & much loved and respected grandpa! Peace & (((((hugs))))) and don't give up!!!!!!!!!!!! B.

10-23-2008, 09:28 AM	#16 (permalink)
*cmc* Community Greeter Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: FL Posts: 9,994	DJMH....... This is not a solution; but only brings more pain. There IS help. I'm praying that you will seek out the help you need to get through this. Here are some resources for you: USA National Suicide Hotlines Toll-Free / 24 hours / 7 days a week 1-800-SUICIDE / 1-800-784-2433 1-800-273-TALK / 1-800-273-8255 TTY: 1-800-799-4TTY (4889) Or, call 911 and ask for help. Tell them you are in suicidal danger. There is also help available on this forum here on SR: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/mental-health/

10-23-2008, 10:21 AM	#17 (permalink)
DJMH Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 36	Thanks....the thing is...I dont know if I am in real danger or not. I am showing some of the signs, I think. Scary stuff.

10-23-2008, 07:11 PM	#20 (permalink)
Jadmack25 I come from a land Downunder Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 337	Prayers for you all.

10-24-2008, 02:02 PM	#22 (permalink)
Lily Ephesians 2:8 and 9 Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,325 Blog Entries: 3	Please know that suicide is not the answer for anything. It will continue to hurt your family for years to come. Know that Jesus loves you and don't let the devil rip you off. You can experience joy in the midst of your circumstances, you just need to surrender to Christ and seek help from a professional. (((prayers))) Sheila

10-25-2008, 06:16 AM	#23 (permalink)
rozied rozied Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: PA, USA Posts: 1,179	If you think ending your life will be the best thing you can do for your wife & kids your thinking is not right and you should get some help,. Suicide is a very selfish act, plus if you are a Christian you know The Lord hates suicide. God put you here for a purpose & it is up to HIm when it is time for you to go home. Please get some professional help. Love & Praters, Diane

10-25-2008, 10:23 AM	#24 (permalink)
SerenityGirl Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: BC Canada Posts: 243	DJ, I promise you things will get better. God has a plan for your life, just put your trust in him. My prayers are with you and your family too...