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|06-30-2008, 12:09 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Why? "Dos this Effects me so Much"
It was taught 2 Me that is the Holy
Spirit who is the consoler then Why? I can't feel God's Love
or forgiveness, or nevertheless his consoler, (the Holy Spirit)
I bee thinking that God Doesn't accept me, or like me,
every time I pass for prayer the Holy Spirit would ministrade
to everybody sinners, people that are stable in there spirit,
people that are playing with him,It would Talk in a gentle, and mercy full way, then Why??? when I pass there is this silence no ministration, no comforting words of healing no don't give up, don't quit,
Has he gave up on me is he mad at me I can't understand allot I'm even hurt by this silent from God he will ministrade, to everyone and give them Hope, but Why?????
when I pass is this silent from him Why?????????????
then another think thats been Bugging me is how I see
that when U are of position and the Lord uses U they give U the first chairs, and the ones that been there first struggling
together with the pastors for the Vision of the church to come alive, we are not notice
forgive me if I sound like I want att. well I don't all my life
I when trough that in my up bringing were my cousins were better cause they were the smartest of the
family, and we were label as the black sheep's of the family
and here I'm going to church to find a different's in the
way life was back then, and I find my self dealing with the same scenarios, doesn't the Bible teaches us not to make acceptions of people, were is the Godly Beliefs, and Values, it sicking my stomach, see that happened in the House of the Lord, I'm very Angry as a Christian to see this happened,
do U want to know how my Pastors makes me ,like a rag that u use to wipe the table, and then just use it when u need it, again and we were the first ones to star the church and here comes a family of Ministers, with there wifes, &
children's, and they get the first plates, they get all the first privileges, and here I'm cleaning after there mess
I know we got to serve others, but you should see how the pastors treat them they are specialty's, I'm not jealous God Bless them, and may they Grow in Christ, and keep delivering the word of God, But we are forgotten by the church, and by God, I guess I'm so Angry!!It's not suppose to be like that, it suppose to be equality, and justice for all,
seen all this, and Experiencing all this, and not been able to comprehended it, is making me into a Bitter, Sour,Resented,
& Angry,Hurtful Christian :sorry But it is, what it is!!!!!
Last edited by BUTTERFLY-7; 06-30-2008 at 12:29 PM. Reason: change the title
|06-30-2008, 12:45 PM||#2 (permalink)|
Singularity In Play
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
i am a christian too. and like you i have been angry, hurt, and depressed. i also had difficulty understanding that God still loved me and was helping me each day. Sometimes i just couldn't feel it at all.
it is sad that humans have such challenges in our lives, but it is also happy that we overcome those same challenges, and live better lives. its not really up to us how the world is day to day. we really can't change the world much in just any one day we may think we should but we just can't, and you already know that.
did you know that your questions are the same questions that have been asked by millions of others for thousands of years? yes butterfly-7, the same questions now and thousands of years ago.
there was nothing wrong in asking your questions, and as a matter of fact you are being smart and honest to have the courage to ask. i wish i could give you an answer that would change all the conditions that make you cry out, but i can't. i can tell you, that i too cryed out, and millions of others have as well, so you are not alone.
and let me tell you this as well please. God loves me and loves and accepts you as well. there was a time i felt like you. i remember it well. it was a scary time in my life. eventually i got through it and it was not from having an easy life. no my life was hard and tough but i still learned to love others as i loved my self and from that i learned God loved me and others as well.
thank you butter-7 for your emotional post. you are trying to be honest and figure things out and that is a loving thing to do.
|06-30-2008, 04:07 PM||#3 (permalink)|
RobbyRobot Luv U'r Scream Name
What I need 2 Know why? Dos it effects me so much Why?
do I feel it so deep to the bottoms of my soul the Pain of everything
I experience weather B in church,or out side, my Ques???? is
Why???????I know people that go trough ruff times in there life
and bounce back, but to me it effects me in such a way
that I could feel the pain, so deep then turns in to anger, and then Bitterness,
this Month I been feeling really Bitter like some were that Butterfly
something happened to her she wasn't suppose to turn out Bitter
help me Understand, Please Don't Judge, or Criticize,
this Thread, if U can't relate I will understand, and if U can Please Help me Understand Why???????????????? Thanks RobbyRobot
|06-30-2008, 04:36 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Feb 2006
I can't anwer your question "Why?" but to say that we all go through times of intense emotions and times of not understanding why things happen like they do.
Reading in Psalms helps me alot when I'm struggling.
I hope you're feeling better soon.
|06-30-2008, 05:03 PM||#5 (permalink)|
thanx cmc only God knows what I'm trying to put out in the table
it's scary because I know who I'm with all my defects,& inperfections
I'm loving & caring but the way I been feeling certain things affect me
is scary is like I'm wrestling with Demons of Anger, Pain, and hurt
may God help me is like a war fair inside of me
please just pray for me
|06-30-2008, 05:04 PM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2005
I think God wants you to be happy, Butter.
As from a fire aflame thousands of sparks come forth,
even so from the Creator an infinity of beings have life and to him return again.
-- Maitri Upanishads
|06-30-2008, 05:39 PM||#9 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Fremont, NE
Start by making a real effort to loving yourself. You admit you have an issue-good. You acknowledge the power of God to restore you-good. Now humbly ask Him to do what you can't do for yourself. Next-clean house. DO a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourself. Take your time doing it, and count your good points too. Then admit to God, yourself and another person the exact nature of your wrongs.
Now you are on your way to loving yourself and feeling God's blessing and love in your life.
|06-30-2008, 06:32 PM||#10 (permalink)|
when I fall short out of the Glory of God I condemned
my self and beat my self too much
about the fearless moral inventory I don't know how to get to that place yet I admit that I must be consistent
with this recovery and I'm not I star meetings then I let Go
but thanx Bother Hummer
|06-30-2008, 06:53 PM||#11 (permalink)|
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Blog Entries: 3
Jesus said Love your neighbor as yourself....to me this implies that loving yourself is important to loving others.
After all how can we give love if we don't love ourselves first? How can we give what we do not have?
Love is not people pleasing. Love and truth go together. God does love you rest assured of that. He will fill you up to over flowing allow yourself to feel His love. He wants to give you your hearts desire. Allow yourself to accept the gift of forgiveness accept the blood transfusion that makes you HIS. Praise Him!
nice has a hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
|06-30-2008, 07:05 PM||#12 (permalink)|
You know thats funny splendra, I could love others even if I can't love my self enough, because since I didn't have that love as a child, and I know how important it is to have love
I'm able to give it to others
I don't know if U understand what I'm trying 2 say please
B patients with me I'm not good at pin pointing what it is
that I want to say I'm not good at expressing my self trough words don't get me wrong I appreciate your comment Thanx
|06-30-2008, 07:23 PM||#13 (permalink)|
Singularity In Play
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Book of Job
yes, certainly i can relate about a terrible bitterness that at times i too have felt. The Book of Job is nourishment at times like these i have found. We all have heard about the story of Job and his dialogue with God. May i suggest a look at Job 10:1 as a start. Job speaks directly from his bitterness as well.
imho the bitterness effects us simply from our natural human imperfections and not from our personal misfortunes. please be gentle with your fears, for you will find your way; your courage is strong and in abundance, and a joy to share. you can have balance. endeavour to shed any despair away from your day.
have a good journey.
|07-01-2008, 03:53 AM||#14 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Fremont, NE
|07-01-2008, 11:40 AM||#15 (permalink)|
RobyRobot thats it thats what my heart couldn't understand thanx RobbyRobot, and to all of yous Guys, But there is certain things that a person says, and cling it rings then it all stars making sense
Job you allow me to understand that Job, and many other characters of the Bibles, weather there were mans of God they all share one thing
in common, and they share it with us, is that they also felt into
Depression, and they were also in the Dark Nights, Thanx Gang
and here I'm thinking that it's Bad to confess all this Because thats what they teach you in church
Don't confess sickness,Don't confess Defeat,Don't confess your this, and tha,t so Now I feel Free Thanx RobbyRobot & everybody 4'r U'r input thats what you call Giving Mix signal.
|07-08-2008, 10:57 AM||#16 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: ashtabula, ohio
I have been depressed all my life. It's been worse the last few years
and I'm on medicine. I've had counseling, pastoral help, I have a great husband,
I go to church, but I am always depressed. One clue is that my dad is an alcoholic.
He came to live with us a year ago and about 9 months ago quit drinking. I am thankful
for that, but I am still angry.
|07-10-2008, 08:46 PM||#17 (permalink)|
I'm so sorry about what u been going trough & here
I'm complaining about my issues
thats good u have a supportive husband cause
mines isn't he is Christian, but he is a in-mature Christian
But I confess day & night that he is a future mighty man of God
and about u been angry is understandable
remember for many years we was supresing
our emotions,& fellings so now all of
it will arise to the surface and is not going to feel
pretty but hang in there the lord
would never leave you or forsake u
|07-12-2008, 05:09 AM||#18 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2003
I believe when I read your original post you had been reading my mail.I felt the same way for many yrs...
I have learned from my experience and what others have said that my feeling does not always determine if God is with me,loves me or is concerned with me.I believe today He is,despite how I feel.God works thru others,my conscience mind,Spiritual Literature,and circumstances to reach me.My feelings are not always the facts of my relationship with God.There have been times when I try to pray and I felt like they went no where,but the reality is God does care for us and is listening closely to us.I have also found I need to learn to listen better to him.
This will pass,and I hope you hang in there until it does.During these times I have had,I have found I have gotten off focus.My attention was away from God and turned inward to myself and mankind.
Another thing that helped me more than anything was to try and live those 12 steps daily.
hope you are doing better today Butterfly
Trust in the LORD with ALL your heart
and lean not on your own understanding
In all your ways acknowledge Him
and he WILL direct your paths
Between XIII and Page 164
|12-10-2009, 02:09 AM||#20 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: london eng
Hi there Butterfly - just wondering if you are doing well now? i know you spoke on this subject over a year ago but I find I can relate to what you are talking about ... The one thing I have been wondering is this, i have a great time encouraging others, i CAN feel Gods precense however i dont feel his love. there have been instances of his love for a couple of minutes a couple of times a year but other than that i can only feel his presence and not his supporting love.
now I am often used to encourage others and pout out Gods love to them but I can only observe and I dont experience this love...
now I think what is blocking his love is my habitual sexual sin ( not intercourse) and because I dont have any supporting love from God I have reverted into the replacement of the world which is self indulging sexual sin... would you all agree that this is the reason for my lack of recieveing Gods love? Its soooo hard to resist and I have been trying for a year now to stop but after 2-6 weeks of doing it on my own effort i crumble and give in... then self condemnation comes in etc etc... i read my bibleA LOT sometimes up to 2 hours in a day... i pray, God even gives me visions a lot... and yet NO LOVE... weird hey? I know I dont get it at all!! I would trade everything i have just to experience his constant reasurting love...
anyhow, hope you all can help
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