Searching for Him....

[Lady_Blue]

Hello friends. I've been around S.R. for a LONG time...(years!) I am a prescription opiate addict who has been clean no more than 3 months and have ALWAYS relapsed.....and I just did it AGAIN....my son broke his ankle the very night before his HS graduation....he had surgery 2 days after....and is laid up at home, recovering. I've taken his RX pain pills...(narcotic) I found God some 12 yrs ago, or he found me....I was overcome w/ his spirit...felt such an urge to get baptized....and I was....a few yrs later I started using prescription meds as prescribed....then started taking MORE than the prescribed dosage.....and here I am today. I need to know HOW to get God back....I've spent hours on my hands and knees begging. I haved prayed severeal times aday.....I NEED him back. I was never so happy in my ENTIRE life than when I FELT his presence.
Have ANY of you KNEW him before your addiction problem, lost him, and had a hard time getting Him back in your life? Or have most of you found him only AFTER your addiction? Any help, suggestions, feedback etc. would be so appreciated...... Lady_Blue

[toad]

I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior in 1983. I was in jail, and was delivered from the drugs and alcohol that enabled me to do time. The day I got out I got drunk and loaded and recreated the same crime that put me in jail. This time I did not get caught.

Having had repented, and allowing the Word of God to work in my life when I was in jail, I was closer to God than anytime up to that point in my life. How could I have turned my back on God and go back to the trashy life I lived before?

As a Christian I was in and out of treatment, jail, and relationships. In 1998 once again I was scraping the bottom of my life. I went to treatment for the 7th time and made a committment to myself, that I would start each day with self-examination, prayer, reading the Word of God, and going to meetings (AA is what works for me in preparing me to not take that first drink or drug). Reading the Bible daily has become possibly the most important part of my day. When I skip it, the day seems lacking in the necessary spiritual feeding.

You can't seperate God and God's Word..........you want to get closer to God? Daily spend time in His Word.

[cmc]

Lady,
God has promised to never leave us. I may stray away from Him and choose to do things my own way but He will never leave me. I can choose to live according to what my emotions tell me or decide to believe what God has to say about it.

".....for He Himself has said, 'I will never desert you, nor will I forsake you'.... " Hebrews 13:5
The context of this verse is a reminder to be watchful over our character and our choices. I can't think of a better verse for someone struggling with addiction.

What can you do? You can get involved in a program of recovery and become clean. You can read the bible, fellowship with other Christians and go to church to develop your spiritual life.

I hope you will keep posting here in this forum and also visit this forum for some support.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-step-support/

[Dee74]

I think the answers right there in your post

I found God some 12 yrs ago, or he found me....

I wasn't looking for God when I cleaned up...but we met up again.

I don't like to get all evangelistic, but I found helping others just naturally let Jesus back into my life. It was that monumental yet that simple.

I wish you well - cmc's suggestions are excellent - sometimes we can pray far better with what we do than what we say, y'know?

I firmly believe God gave us hearts hands and minds for a reason - we should use them. If you haven't already - get involved with a programme of recovery, get involved with a church, look at some service work maybe - I bet ya, all good things will follow

D

[grateful2b]

Lady, when I get wrapped up too much in the world and become disconnected from my God, I focus on opening my heart and I ask him to fill me with his love...every morning when you wake up and every night when you go to bed.....and mean it from the depths of your heart... God is always right there....we are the ones who turn away... another thing I like to do is practise gratitude.. everyday...morning and evening..it is a wonderful way to open the heart...meditating on what you are grateful for in your life and giving thanks to the God of your understanding...
peace, grateful

[Lily]

Dear Lady Blue,

I too have been where you are. I was born again on May 8, 1989. I then got clean and sober and relapsed. Then in 1991, I was clean again and stayed clean till 1999 when my hubby got brain cancer. (I was taking his pain pills) I felt sooo far away from God while in active addiction!

Perhaps you should re-examine your faith. Have to admitted to God you are a sinner? Do you know that Jesus died on the cross to prepare a place in heaven for you? Have you come to him by faith and asked him to be the LORD of your life? Have you transfered your trust in yourself to trusting in Him completely?

If you have done all of this, then get in HIS word. Read a chapter of John each day. Ask him to speak to you by his Holy Spirit. Read a chapter of proverbs each day. There are 31 chapters, read one each day that corresponds with the day of the month we are on.

Finally, THIS IS KEY! In order to really have a relationship w/ Christ that is going to be a good one is to stay clean! the only real way I have found to stay clean is to be in the fellowship of NA/AA. If you have a problem w/ them not being Christian, you are going to have to get over it and just get into a group.

Also, I almost forgot, and hopefully you are, get involved in a good bible believing church w/ other believers.

blessings, Sheila

[Lady_Blue]

I cant thank you all enough.....You're all helpers in my time of need....I plan to go BACK to church on Sunday. I WAS involved with Sunday school, etc. Need to get back w/ the program. I have a meeting tonight...been doing those too....for awhile. Thanks all.

I'll let you all know....

LadyBlue

[StandFast]

Lady_Blue, I am sorry for your pain. I have heard and seen what you are experiencing. IMHO it as a real problem that needs extra work on your part.

I am not expert, but for me, reading the Word is a must everyday or I am not as connected to God as when I am doing so.

I pray everyday to please remind me that this world is but a dream within a dream and the most important wealth is the Holy Spirit inside me.

When I attempt to play God by trying to manipulate people and things the addict comes out and all those feelings that I had right before I would have picked up. This is when I need my High Power the most, my Christ Jesus, who suffered and died for us all.

Because of him, we are forgiven of all our sins (past and present), so Lady_Blue perhaps if you forgive yourself, get clean, and read the word everyday you may feel His Glory and Grace once again.