Desperate need of prayers....

[Gertiegirl]

But I really don't know what is most important to pray for... there is so much going on.... Ill tell the story and you can focus prayer on whatever God places strongest in your heart.

Firstly a few facts. Im an alcoholic, searching for recovery. Not there yet, but I have a solid treatment plan in place. Im waiting for a Dr referal to go through - then Ill be off and running. I am the adult child of an alcoholic too (not unusual Im sure!) and my father has been an alcoholic for as long as I remember, but of course is still in denial and his relationship with alcohol kept me in denial for many years. I always thought it was "normal" to drink every night to excess. Anyway - so his drinking destroyed his marriage to my mother, and they divorced a few years ago. Not long after the divorce was finalised he was spending every non working hour at the pub and there he met a really awesome woman. Absolutely devoted to him, and has been fantastic to me, my sister and my kids. When they met - she was battling cancer and my father supported her through all her chemo and stuff, just about lost her numerous times. She pulled through, and they married 3 months ago. I got a phone call from my father last night - the cancer has returned. Newly married and they have to go through it all again. My heart just breaks for them, and to lose her now would be devestating for our entire family - and hers. She has 3 adult children and respective grandchildren too. So of course prayer for healing would be very appreciated.

My other concern is for my father, and myself. As typical of an alcoholic he responded to the news of the cancer having returned by getting rolling drunk. I know what he will do whilst she is being treated - he will spend the day with her at the hospital and then get drunk every single night - and I mean very very very drunk, its what he did last time. So Im worried for his health also. But also -my- relationship with him. Supporting him through this means he will expect me to drink with him. He doesn't understand alcoholism and thinks me not drinking is just plain silly. So I cannot be in his company without drinking, he won't let me and the temptation is too great. But I want to be there to support him and my new stepmother who I have come to love and respect... but don't want to jeapordise my recovery as a result... Its such a huge mess, and I don't know what to do or how to handle it. Prayers for clarity and wisdom for me would be really helpful also. But of course, healing, is the primary concern.

Thanks heaps in advance for your thoughts and prayers.

[cmc]

Hi Gertie,
I'll be praying for you to know what you need to do and the strength to do it; plus
adding in some extra prayers for your step mom, dad and the whole family.

[Barbara52]

You have my prayers for God to work in all of your lives.

[ByHisBlood2]

Gertie,

What follow here is my personal take and experience so just to let you know. First off I will pray for you, your father and his wife. I pray that the Lord uses this situation to his glory!! I'm sure you are wondering how could her having cancer be glorifying to God? Well it does because although we hurt and suffer and wonder why, why, why? He is firmly in control of all things. In my experience all the difficult things that happen in life either to me or because of my own actions are all designed for one purpose, and that is I need to depend on God in all situations!!! God has a plan and it sometimes looks like cancer or an illness or whatever. It's difficult to grasp that God could allow things like this to happen but remember he sacrificed his own son for us so we could come to him. God is in control!!! Believe me that is a hard truth to accept when the storms of life are pounding you, but that's what faith is for!! God may or may not cure her cancer, but the question is what are you going to do to draw closer to God no matter what happens?! I pray with all my heart that God works a wonderful work in your mother in-law and we can all praise him for his goodness!! But God is good all the time!!! As far as the drinking? It's your choice no one can make you drink although I know how hard the tempation is, if you don't want to drink with your dad don't!! Follow through on your plan and be strong because the strength of the Lord is there for you. Just ask and he will give it to you!! God Bless you and your family!!

[best]

Gertie

When we first start out seeking answers for our own issues as we strive to find recovery for ourself... We need to put ourself first. Your recovery is the most important thing right now. Dad will drink with you there or not. Step mom will deal with her cancer with you there or not. Sober, we can be a better support for others. Hung over or drunk, we can't help or support others as we would like to.
Dad wants you to drink with him...you have other plans.

Seems you have a focus on Dad. How is mom handling all this?

You may want to look into some Al Anon meetings to help you understand better why dad does things as he does. AA meetings can gain you some added support and answers as well...you don't need wait for the DR referal to go through to start seeking info of what will help you once you start on the path to recovery.

Prayers for strength and comfort for you at this time and prayers of the Lord's touch on your step mom's healing and struggle with the cancer.

[utopia]

He said He'll never forsake you, or leave you alone. Trust Him......Keep safe in Him. Easy does it but do it. Do not be afraid of moving slowly but only not moving at all. xx

[Gertiegirl]

Thank you all for your prayer and advice. Its always such a comfort to know that no matter what Im going through - there are people interceeding for me.

Best, In response to your question regarding my mother - I don't know if she knows this situation yet. I havnt spoken to her in 3 weeks, but my sister may have. Its complicated - she moved to a different country August last year and our relationship has been strained since. Well, its been slightly strained for a while now anyway - she is concerned that I have become a Christian (Im from a non-religious family, I came to Christ and was baptised in 2006) and of course, very concerned since I confessed my alcoholism. So.... I havn't actually spoken to mum regarding this situation as yet.

Again, Thanks everyone!

[butterfly19]

Gert,

Hey sweetie! My heart goes out to you in this very difficult time. You and your entire family will be in my thoughts and prayers!!!!

As far as your father's drinking goes, I know you already know this--but he will have to surrender in his own time on his own terms. There is nothing you can do to make it happen quicker! You are progressing wonderfully, and your own recovery should be forefront in your mind. Not that you should ignore your duties to family in their time of need, just remember that keeping your self sober and healthy will also help them. I mean you can't really be much help to any of them, if you're drunk off your rocker now can you? Perhaps, your father will see this and know that in order to be helpful, he too, needs to clean up his own act!

Just for now, just for today, in this moment, take care of YOU!!!! Hopefully, with the prayers we will be sending up for you, the other things will fall into place in time. Remember, though, you just can't pray for everything to start working--you have to put in the effort, and sometimes a lot of hard work, to help these prayers come true! Again, I am so sorry your family is battling this right now. You WILL grow stronger from it though sweetie and come out of it as a different woman! Take care sweetie, and hope to talk with you soon!

Love,

butterfly19 (SP)

I always like to light a candle for people when they are going through difficult times! So here is one I've lit for you and your family!

[RobbyRobot]