Where the hell is God :(

[Trilby]

I have always believed..saw God everywhere I looked.
So where the hell did he go?
I feel empty, abandoned and generally bereft.

Wrote this the other night while watching Jesus of Nazareth:

They scourged my Lord
Who'd done no harm.
They cut him to the bone.
They ridiculed and abused him
And left us all alone.

They harmed my Lord
Who'd loved them all.
His cuts with blood did seep.
They nailed him to a wooden cross
And left us all to weep.

They killed my Lord
Who'd come to die.
They cheered and crowed with glee.
He died that we might then be saved
He died for you and me.

I scourged my Lord
I harmed my Lord
I killed him in my heart.
I stood at the cross and hammered the nails
And tore my soul apart.

Mea Culpa...Mea culpa!

So am assuming somewhere in me is the old me that believed.
Right now I'm struggling to think I ever had faith.

[ANGELINA243]

[best]

You need ask yourself... What has changed?

God didn't.

I would pray daily. Just about every moment of the day I had thoughts of the Lord and His word on my mind.
I would read daily. Some days a few chapters, some days a few pages but every day I was reading God's word.
I was reflecting on the things I was reading and giving thanks for all the wonders of life I was seeing and being shown.
I would attend church services every chance I could get and have fellowship with other believers after services.

As you see, my list is filled with ...would and was.

So who changed? Me or God?
God doesn't change. Always was and always will be.

So for me, if I feel that empty feeling or void... I know what I need to do.
Get myself back doing what will bring me to the place I want to be.
Give thanks.
Pray
Read His word.
Reflect on His word.
Pray.
Fellowship.
Pray.
and as you see Prayer is listed three times.
I will list it one more time...
Pray and then go out and help another. (Be Jesus to another person)

I have found that the above helps me keep my face turned towards God.

Fellowship of loving our neighbor as Christ would do.

[TonyB]

Fran,
Thank you for that... I needed to hear that today.
TB

[IO Storm]

Dear Trilby:

It sounds like you were touched .....and are having a spiritual experience.

Hallelujah! When I got clean and sober all I could do was cry out..

Mea culpa Mea culpa as well...

I said..

"Lord...I have no where else to go and no one else to turn to"...

He spoke to me in my ear.....and said "I will go with you"...

No matter what I had to face in the future.

Stay with Him.....

You do not have to cling.....

He is clinging to you.....

[Lily]

Yes, he is there, he has never moved, only we move~ away. Tell him exactly what you told us, tell him you are sorry for your sin, ask him to come into your heart and tell him you want to live for him, then read his word (the book of John is a great place to start) then find a good bible believing church.

blessings, Sheila

[CAPTAINZING2000]

God didn't move, we moved from him!!!

[americanasap]

I talked to Him this morning...He is alive and well.

[kfoste]

HI, i am new here,
God had enough faith in us to die for us when we were killing him, we must have enough faith in him to believe he's there even when we don't feel his presence. He's there and he always has been, just reach out and hold his hand and you will see.

[cmc]

hello kfoste and welcome to SR!
I'm glad you stopped by. If you like you can start up a thread of your own to introduce yourself to the others who might not see your post on this one.
I look forward to seeing you come around!

[Pol]

Hi Trilby
When I was drinking I knew that God was there, He was like a very faint shadow in the corner of my mind, I just couldn't reach Him. I felt worthless and ashamed and felt that He couldn't forgive me. A friend of mine told me that it was the "dark night of the soul", as described by John of the Cross, we are being tested by the Lord, but when we come out of it our faith is stronger and keener. We become like tempered steel.
Just ask Him for help, and then listen, I found that the more I begged, the worse it got.
there was so much noise in my head, I couldn't hear the reply.
God will come to you, just say yes, and then stop analysing -my head, doing that, got me into trouble, and still does. Go with your heart, not with your head.
He will not let you down, He loves us, and forgives us for everything. As a quote I saw says, "I made You, and I don't make mistakes,"
Take care of yourself, it will get better if you have faith, and work for recovery.
God bless.

[utopia]

hey Trilby. for some God is "Good Orderly Direction" for some its their recovery group, a religious thing and for some its a flying spaghetti monster.....in the end, Recovery teaches me it's my own choice and personal understanding....for me. the Steps are key to finding your own higher power or "God"....sometimes issues of religious abuse or labels can tarnish our relationship with this energy. for a time I had to call it "the universe" and many other names....its your beliefs and your choice. as you understand.....at dark nights in my life (which were just before the dawn) I found meetings a great source of strength. its my belief that we NEED at the very least to define it as "something greater than I am"...I don't share so much about my understanding on what God is or what I now call Him for me, but on what our relationship is like , how i develops and how I understand it to help me. HONESTY was the best thing in the beginning to break through dogma and shoulda coulda wouldas and guilt and feel something much deeper, more visceral and fiery in what i now call my spirit. BRUTAL AND BLUNT HONESTY is what led to me to release the shame and rage and get to the gentleness and understanding of my experiences, beneath my mind, ego and intellectuallisations and into my feelings, my breath and my experience of this wonder.