prayers and support needed

[Elizabeth2007]

i just got a call from my oldest sister. my father is in the hospital. he fell this morning and apparently has a broken hip, among other problems with his heart. he's in the emergency room even as i type this. my brother is there with him and i'll hear more about his situation in a few hours.

my father will be 85 this May. yep, 85. he was 45 when I was born. he didn't want me. my mother sorta did the whoops i forgot birth control thing with him. his children were 9, 11, 13, 15 when i came along, but the moment i was born, he loved me completely and totally. when my mother divorced him when i was 3, he was ever devoted to me, despite the craziness with my older siblings and my mother. when my mother remarried, my time with my father on the weekends was the only respite i had from a terribly cold, perfectionist household where my stepfather made my life a living hell. my daddy was accepting, quietly consistently supportive. he always made me feel loved. he wasn't a very communicative father but his love for me was always known loud and clear. he was from the school of work hard and support your family that is what makes you a good father but with me he was put in a positive of having to have a more intimate relationship due to the divorce. that was good for both of us. he showed me what a gentleman was. he always opened my car door both in and out of the car. helped me out of the car. opened doors for me. he treated me like a lady. his quiet strength and tenderness touched me so greatly. i always felt sheltered and safe with him. he opened many doors for me. horsebackriding and roller-skating became my two favorite things all through my youth and adolescence. he always supported me. when other girl's fathers were dumping them at the skating ring, he would come and sit in a corner table, read his paper and drink his coffee while i skated. he never interfered with my socializing but he quietly stayed and that let me know he cared enough to watch over me without having to control me.

i love my father but haven't seen him in far too long. he lives in connecticut as does my mother and stepfather and brother and another sister. i stay away because of the intense dysfunction of my family. despite all the wonderful things in my relationship with my dad, his relationship with my older siblings and the dynamic with my mother has always been pretty crazy. so i stay away from connecticut now to avoid the crazy making of one sister and mom and sadly have stayed away from daddy due to them.

i am grieving today for the time i've lost in the last 8 years not visiting him and not calling him enough to speak with him on a regular basis. i regret that. i cried like a baby when i heard he was in the hospital. i am close to my oldest sister (15 years older than me who lives in florida) and youngest sister (9 years older than me who lives in north georgia). hearing my oldest sister's voice made me cry. i didn't realize to today how very very much i miss them all. i've spent so much of my life trying to recover and heal from so many of the bad things in my past (not with my daddy) that its become habit, even though the dysfunction of my family has, by and large, gotten much much better. i should say that most members of my family just simply aren't as dysfunctional or crazy making as they used to be.

i need to see my family. i need to see my sisters and my brother and most of all my daddy. even my mother. my husband and i talked about going to see them soon.

i only pray that everyone will be alright until i can do that. pray for my daddy please.

please pray for me that i'll be able to forgive family members for past hurts and that my family will experience healing.

Elizabeth

p.s. i'm so sorry for the long rambling post.

[sugarssweetpea]

prayers for you & your family. My mom had me at 43, so she is 81. I see her once a year due to living in a different state. It is hard. I know how you feel. I pray that God would open the hearts of your family & yourself so that you all can pull together in this time of need & put all of the focus on God & being there for your dad. Also pray for a quick recovery for your dad & travel mercies for you & your husband.

[Lily]

Elizabeth,

I am so sorry for your fathers fall. I pray he is able to recover from this, that the docs would know exactly what to do and that he would respond. I pray also you would be covered with Jesus love he has for you during this difficult time and that you would sense his presence. I also pray if it be God's will you would be able to somehow travel and see him.

blessings, Sheila

[hope3]

I pray for you and your family..

hope3

[Hope]

Lots of hugs and prayers during this difficult time...

[cmc]

I'll be praying for your dad, for you and for a healing restoration between your family members.

[Elizabeth2007]

Morning.

Finally, I was able to speak with my father. I can not put into words how wonderful it was to hear his voice. He sounds surprisingly strong and in very good spirits. He was laughing about the whole thing. He said, "what can I do but laugh." What a great attitude. His surgery has been moved up to today at 2:00 pm EST. My brother is with him and will call me and keep me posted on how the surgery goes. I am thankful that my father was in such good spirits. Hearing his voice was like a hug to my heart.

I love him so much.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support

[dave47]

Glad to hear he is in good spirits Elizabeth. I will put you all in my prayers, God bless.

[Rowan]

Hugs and prayers going out to you and your father, Elizabeth.

[best]

MD to Conn... less then 6 hours.

2 tanks of gas. (round trip) One motel room night (or two). For under $150 plus food, you could visit Dad.

I just drove the trip from MD back to Boston on Monday. If you can put together the funds and the time...it wil be well worth the trip I would think.

Prayers that the Lord make a way if you desire to make the trip. It is do-able

Prayers for a fast healing for Dad as well.

[Elizabeth2007]

Morning.

I spoke with my father last night. He came through sugery with flying colors. He sounded good. He said his pain was so much better and he felt very good. Thank God !!

I told him I wanted to come visit and he said "Don't come now, come when I am feeling better." So we reserved a lovely mimi-suite in a historic hotel back home and we are going to drive back and visit over Easter. It should be a lovely trip. For the first time I do not view a return "home" with trepedation and anxiety, but with peace and anticipation.

Through these more than 8 months of sobriety I have learned many ways to deal with conflict and crazymakers and know that if my sister or brother or mother get too out of control I will simply hug them and say, "Well its time for us to go now." I no longer feel the need to fix everyone or be right or even have the last word. It is almost a relief. I just want peace.

Thank you each so so so much for your support and encouragement and prayers. I cannot express how much it has meant.

Have a good day!