Honesty and withdrawal

[Briang]

I there all, I completed an inpatient 30 day program this summer mostly for alcohol. Got 75 days or so sober and went to pills. I called my doc from treatment and told him I was in treatement and not to give me percocet anymore. After I got back and felt good I made an appt. with him and talked him into giving me them again. Can you believe it. Addicts are such good liars we can convince a doctor of anything. Then I got them changed to oxycontin. I thought I could still take pills...what a joke. Now I am withdrawing after about 80mg a day for the last 10 days. I'ts going to get worse. The good news is I told my wife everything. I feel so much better because I have been taking pills for several years. Now I want recovery. I gave her my last three 1/2 pills of 20mg oxycodone. I'm wondering if I can take them when it gets real rough like when trying to sleep. Or even a 1/2 of one or should I just go cold turkey. I had one today but only one and I"m feeling OK but I know it is going to get worse. I'm surprised it's not worse yet and I don't know why. I threw up yellow this morning from yesterdays doses. Anyway, I truly love the Lord and thought my new commitment to Him at treatement would be enough to keep me sober. I was wrong. I really need to work a program of AA/NA. And now that I have come clean with my wife and not hanging onto anything anymore I feel much better already. As for the withdrawal I really don't know How bad it will be this time with 80mg a day for the past several days. With percs...I took less and was still miserable. Also is there a big difference between NA and AA as far as which one I should go to. In treatment we always went to AA but narcotics are my drug of choice. I hope I can get through this and get on the road to recovery. Thanks,
Brian G. Lewiston, Idaho

[cmc]

Hi Brian,
It's nice to meet you. I'm glad to hear you have the desire to change things and especially glad you have become honest with yourself and your wife. Honesty is a good first step in the right direction.

Withdrawal can be dangerous. It's a good idea to contact a doctor or detox center to make sure you do this safely.

The disease is sneaky and postponing things because you don't know which program to choose isn't going to get you the help you need. Jmho-whatever works for you is best- my addicted loved ones prefer AA.

God bless you and please keep coming back!

[Lily]

Welcome Brian! I appreciate your honesty and your honesty w/ your wife as well. I have yet to tell my husband of my relapse. I pray you can get through your withdrawl with ease....I had a rough time a year ago. Since then I have relapsed, but always to afraid to let it go one for a day or 2 cuz of how crappy I felt. Maybe call your doc, & let them know? If you feel really bad go in. You can do this! yes you can. I pray the Lord would give you the strength one day at a time. NA and AA are both good. try them out!
blessings in Christ, Sheila

[best]

Hello Brian

Welcome to SR. Congratulations on your choices. Way to go.

As I read your post, these are my thoughts...

Taking a 1/2 pill now or later is just prolonging what will be. As you detox (if you go through a withdrawl) you could just be prolonging the affects by continuing the pills.

The difference between NA and AA... People in NA will better understand the way drugs pull at you. AA people may understand as well but may not understand to the full measure. I would be one of them so take my words as an educated experience not a learned experience.

As for our commitment to the Lord...new found or years with the Lord...
Just as we would do in NA, AA, or any other type of recovery program...
We need to stay with our commitement daily. One day at a time.
Lord, give me this day my daily needs.
Just for today I will strive to stay clean and sober.
So be it a commitment to stay clean and sober through NA or AA as well as our commitment to the Lord... One day at a time is what I found works best.