need help finding faith in my time of fear - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Hope · 10-25-2007, 10:22 PM

I'm going through a rough time. I'm trying to get back in college. I was basically 'pushed' into taking a semester off to get my personal life together as I was out of control with my drinking/using. I have done that. Now the question is whether I have or have not damaged my situation beyond repair at the college. I'm scared. I'm struggling to hold on to my faith during this time of uncertainty and fear. I know it's in God's hands. However, I keep letting this situation get to me. I don't know what their decision will be, all I know is that I need to keep my faith in God right now. It's so hard as I keep sliding back into fear that transcends into my daily life and it's complicated. I hope I get back in. I've worked so hard for this.

**Ann** · 10-26-2007, 04:34 AM

For me, the antidote to fear was faith. When I felt uncertain about my faith, I let blind faith lead me knowing that I would be led to where I was supposed to be.

Life hasn't always taken me to the destinations I had in mind, sometimes there was an obstacle on the road that made me detour and that was often God's way of showing me that He had a better plan and hindsight has shown me that His plan was always better than my own.

Today I do my part and then just show up and let life happen, knowing that I will be led if I just have a little faith and a lot of patience and look for the road signs.

Wherever your path leads you, I wish you many blessings and lots of light along the way. Remember that life is a journey, not a destination, and that wherever you walk you are not alone.

Hugs

Lil_Balance · 10-26-2007, 08:37 AM

So true Ann. Faith is the antidote to fear. When fear comes knocking at your door, which it does, spread some faith all around your situation. I don't know about you, but when I act off of fear it drains the life out of me, but when I change my thinking and renew my mind. God do not give us the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. This helps me to gain my balance on what's important. Know that this situation will pass. Every time those fearful thoughts come, and they will, change your thinking and put your focus on Christ. He has heard your prayers, He is working this situation out for your good and He loves you. He is the Author and the Finisher of your life.

Jomey · 10-26-2007, 09:03 AM

Hope - running late today, but wanted to give you a quick

Will check back in with you later! Hope you are having a good day!

***cmc*** · 10-26-2007, 09:27 AM

(((Hope)))
I have found these verses to be very helpful in times of stress and dealing with others who appear to have some control over what happens to me or my family. They speak of peace and truth and remind me of Who is in charge.

Encourage the exhausted, and strengthen the feeble. Say to those with anxious heart, 'Take courage, fear not. Behold, your God will come with vengeance; The recompense of God will come, But He will save you.' Isaiah 35:3-4

'Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.' Isaiah 41:10

Listen to Me, you who know righteousness, A people in whose heart is My law; Do not fear the reproach of man, Nor be dismayed at their revilings. Isaiah 51:7

Hope · 10-26-2007, 05:22 PM

I'm trying to let Go Let God and push on through the fear. Whatever happens will be in God's time not mine. I have trouble accepting that but that is something that I need to work on. As long as I don't accept God's timing, then I won't ever find peace.

Hope · 10-26-2007, 06:10 PM

I have a long way to go. But God can take a little bit of faith and make it grow.

There's a prayer in a book I have by Max Lucado:

Father, when we are weak, you are strong. When we have no faith, you have faith. Thank you for being true to us even when we forget you. Thank you for being faithful even when we are not.

And the passage in Jeremiah 29:11-13
I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future. Then you will call my name. You will come to me and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will search for me. And when you search for me with all your heart, you will find me!

It seems as though I'm looking at this situation in a negative way. The situation is going to end up hurting me.
Where is my faith? I feel like it is God saying to me "Do you have no faith?" I feel like God can't hear me when I pray. I'm seeking after him but it seems like he has hidden from me. I have asked for repentance of sins but I feel so distant from him still. I want to come back to him and I'm praying, praying, and praying but does he still hear me?

Hope · 10-26-2007, 11:02 PM

Psalm 27

Of David.

1 The LORD is my light and my salvation-
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life-
of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When evil men advance against me
to devour my flesh, [1]
when my enemies and my foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
3 Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then will I be confident.

4 One thing I ask of the LORD ,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.
5 For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
and set me high upon a rock.
6 Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the LORD .

7 Hear my voice when I call, O LORD ;
be merciful to me and answer me.
8 My heart says of you, "Seek his [2] face!"
Your face, LORD , I will seek.
9 Do not hide your face from me,
do not turn your servant away in anger;
you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
O God my Savior.
10 Though my father and mother forsake me,
the LORD will receive me.
11 Teach me your way, O LORD ;
lead me in a straight path
because of my oppressors.
12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
breathing out violence.

13 I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
14 Wait for the LORD ;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD .

Hope · 10-26-2007, 11:04 PM

Grace for the Moment ---Max Lucado

Fear and Faith
(September 9)

About midnight Paul and Sialas were praying and singing songs to God as the other prisoners listened. ACTS 16:25

Great acts of faith are seldom born out of calm calculation.

It wasn't logic that caused Moses to raise his staff on the bank of the Red Sea.

It wasn't medical research that convinced Naaman to dip seven times in the river.

It wasn't common sense that caused Paul to abandon the Law and embrace grace.

And it wasn't a confident committee that prayed in a small room in Jerusalem for Peter's release from prison. It was a fearful, desperate, band of backed-into-a-corner believers. It was a church with no options. A congregation of have-nots pleading for help.

And never were they stronger.

At the beginning of every act of faith, there is often a seed of fear.

---In the Eye of the Storm

Hooner · 10-27-2007, 07:13 AM

Hi - I too have gone through something similar as you. I had to leave school for medical problems -- drinking. I still am having a hard time and this is my first semester back. I don't know how I will ever hold a job and I feel like the professors are sick of me.

I just hold my head up and do my best. Still struggling with drinking and believe I need some depression/anxiety meds, which are hard to find without insurance.

I really appreciated this thread about letting go and letting God -- because I too have felt I have come so far and worked so hard. If you have documented medical reasons they should let you back in. :praying You can also see a school counselor and have them document your absence.

best · 10-27-2007, 09:30 AM

Psalm 119:

98 Your commands make me wiser than my enemies,
for they are ever with me.

99 I have more insight than all my teachers,
for I meditate on your statutes.

100 I have more understanding than the elders,
for I obey your precepts.

101 I have kept my feet from every evil path
so that I might obey your word.

103 How sweet are your words to my taste,
sweeter than honey to my mouth!

104 I gain understanding from your precepts;
therefore I hate every wrong path.

105 Your word is a lamp to my feet
and a light for my path.

We want to know the future but God guides us a step at a time.
Trust Him and see that He will prove Himself to you "every" time.

Hope · 10-27-2007, 09:50 AM

Moment by moment, I'm feeling better. I spent hours last night in the Word and calling out to God. Right before I went to sleep, I felt a very strong sense of peace surround me. Gods presence was with me and I felt at rest in him. It was comfort for my weary soul.

Lily · 10-27-2007, 06:16 PM

Hang in there. I pray the Lord would open doors no man can open and he would close door no man can close and HE would guide you as you rest in HIM and trust in HIM one day at a time. Blessings in Jesus, Sheila

St_Kurt · 10-27-2007, 08:06 PM

Hope -

I have been exactly where you are Hope and the results have turned out better than I can ever have dreamed.

Nearly 2 years ago during my 2nd year of vet school, while studying, I fell asleep on my right hand and damaged my radial nerve. The result: a completely paralyzed hand with no feeling or movement. It dangled at the end of my wrist like a dead piece of meet.

(Ironically this type of wrist palsy has the nickname "saturday night palsy" and is typically seen in those who, after drinking too much on a saturday night, fall asleep in a chair with their arm thrown over the back and arrive in the ER on Sunday morning wondering what the hell happened to their hand. In my case however, it was a Tuesday night palsy due in part to a LACK of coffee rather than too much alcohol. )

Because of this injury I was forced to leave vet school for a semester, join the class a year behind mine in the fall, and therefore graduate a year later. It felt like my life was over, that I would never become a doctor, that I was a failure before I'd even begun. I recieved no support at all. My mother wouldn't talk to me (she was drinking and using at the time) and would do things like mail me her "Vet Med Mom" sweatshirt torn up to ribbons with a note that said "You'll never be a doctor. I hate you." I had no money and had to go on food stamps. The vet school was helpful, but I got the distinct impression that they didn't have much faith in me either.

But I learned how to draw blood etc. left handed and got a job where I could apply the first year and a half of vet school. Despite the fact that my boss was a mean drunk at work, he was a pretty brilliant vet and I learned a lot in between the verbal beatings. It was wonderful to apply what I'd learned in the real world.

When I returned to school, I immediately fell in with my new class and I enjoy them immensely. To be honest, they're a lot more fun that my original class so I'm happy to be with them. I chose to retake my 2nd year fall semester, and rather than feel like I was wasting my time doing something over, it was great. Vet school classes are so difficult that I relished the opportunity to hear and practice the information a second time. Now in my 3rd year I continue to enjoy the fun and comradery of my "new" graduating class. The classes are more interesting and rather than resent the amount of work like my classmates do, having experienced the very real possibility that I might not continue, makes me grateful for everyday I am there.

Though things may not have gone as planned when I entered vet school almost 4 years ago, in the end, I think they have gone better.

We never know how things are going to turn out.

~SK

dave47 · 10-28-2007, 01:07 AM

Sorry you are having a worrying time Hope.Will pray for you,God is always with us.

Hope · 10-28-2007, 06:24 PM

I want to thank you all for your support. Your words of encouragement have really helped me. Please keep this situation in your prayers that I can go back to college. Hopefully, I will have some good news soon, God-willing.

10-25-2007, 10:22 PM	#1 (permalink)
Hope Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Recovery Posts: 3,342	need help finding faith in my time of fear I'm going through a rough time. I'm trying to get back in college. I was basically 'pushed' into taking a semester off to get my personal life together as I was out of control with my drinking/using. I have done that. Now the question is whether I have or have not damaged my situation beyond repair at the college. I'm scared. I'm struggling to hold on to my faith during this time of uncertainty and fear. I know it's in God's hands. However, I keep letting this situation get to me. I don't know what their decision will be, all I know is that I need to keep my faith in God right now. It's so hard as I keep sliding back into fear that transcends into my daily life and it's complicated. I hope I get back in. I've worked so hard for this.

10-26-2007, 04:34 AM	#2 (permalink)
Ann Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 29,859	For me, the antidote to fear was faith. When I felt uncertain about my faith, I let blind faith lead me knowing that I would be led to where I was supposed to be. Life hasn't always taken me to the destinations I had in mind, sometimes there was an obstacle on the road that made me detour and that was often God's way of showing me that He had a better plan and hindsight has shown me that His plan was always better than my own. Today I do my part and then just show up and let life happen, knowing that I will be led if I just have a little faith and a lot of patience and look for the road signs. Wherever your path leads you, I wish you many blessings and lots of light along the way. Remember that life is a journey, not a destination, and that wherever you walk you are not alone. Hugs __________________ Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky. ~Tagore

10-26-2007, 09:03 AM	#4 (permalink)
Jomey Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Hicktown, PA Posts: 1,466	Hope - running late today, but wanted to give you a quick Will check back in with you later! Hope you are having a good day! __________________ BOSTONSTRONG

10-26-2007, 09:27 AM	#5 (permalink)
*cmc* Community Greeter Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: FL Posts: 14,239	(((Hope))) I have found these verses to be very helpful in times of stress and dealing with others who appear to have some control over what happens to me or my family. They speak of peace and truth and remind me of Who is in charge. Encourage the exhausted, and strengthen the feeble. Say to those with anxious heart, 'Take courage, fear not. Behold, your God will come with vengeance; The recompense of God will come, But He will save you.' Isaiah 35:3-4 'Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.' Isaiah 41:10 Listen to Me, you who know righteousness, A people in whose heart is My law; Do not fear the reproach of man, Nor be dismayed at their revilings. Isaiah 51:7 __________________ We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. ~Albert Einstein

10-27-2007, 07:13 AM	#10 (permalink)
Hooner Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Sunny Florida Posts: 73	Hi - I too have gone through something similar as you. I had to leave school for medical problems -- drinking. I still am having a hard time and this is my first semester back. I don't know how I will ever hold a job and I feel like the professors are sick of me. I just hold my head up and do my best. Still struggling with drinking and believe I need some depression/anxiety meds, which are hard to find without insurance. I really appreciated this thread about letting go and letting God -- because I too have felt I have come so far and worked so hard. If you have documented medical reasons they should let you back in. :praying You can also see a school counselor and have them document your absence. __________________ "We may not be able to carpet the world, but we can put on slippers."

10-26-2007, 08:37 AM	#3 (permalink)
Lil_Balance Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: IN Posts: 6	So true Ann. Faith is the antidote to fear. When fear comes knocking at your door, which it does, spread some faith all around your situation. I don't know about you, but when I act off of fear it drains the life out of me, but when I change my thinking and renew my mind. God do not give us the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. This helps me to gain my balance on what's important. Know that this situation will pass. Every time those fearful thoughts come, and they will, change your thinking and put your focus on Christ. He has heard your prayers, He is working this situation out for your good and He loves you. He is the Author and the Finisher of your life.

10-26-2007, 05:22 PM	#6 (permalink)
Hope Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Recovery Posts: 3,342	I'm trying to let Go Let God and push on through the fear. Whatever happens will be in God's time not mine. I have trouble accepting that but that is something that I need to work on. As long as I don't accept God's timing, then I won't ever find peace.

10-26-2007, 06:10 PM	#7 (permalink)
Hope Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Recovery Posts: 3,342	I have a long way to go. But God can take a little bit of faith and make it grow. There's a prayer in a book I have by Max Lucado: Father, when we are weak, you are strong. When we have no faith, you have faith. Thank you for being true to us even when we forget you. Thank you for being faithful even when we are not. And the passage in Jeremiah 29:11-13 I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future. Then you will call my name. You will come to me and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will search for me. And when you search for me with all your heart, you will find me! It seems as though I'm looking at this situation in a negative way. The situation is going to end up hurting me. Where is my faith? I feel like it is God saying to me "Do you have no faith?" I feel like God can't hear me when I pray. I'm seeking after him but it seems like he has hidden from me. I have asked for repentance of sins but I feel so distant from him still. I want to come back to him and I'm praying, praying, and praying but does he still hear me?

10-26-2007, 11:02 PM	#8 (permalink)
Hope Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Recovery Posts: 3,342	Psalm 27 Of David. 1 The LORD is my light and my salvation- whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life- of whom shall I be afraid? 2 When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, [1] when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. 3 Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident. 4 One thing I ask of the LORD , this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. 5 For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock. 6 Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the LORD . 7 Hear my voice when I call, O LORD ; be merciful to me and answer me. 8 My heart says of you, "Seek his [2] face!" Your face, LORD , I will seek. 9 Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior. 10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me. 11 Teach me your way, O LORD ; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. 12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, breathing out violence. 13 I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. 14 Wait for the LORD ; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD .

10-26-2007, 11:04 PM	#9 (permalink)
Hope Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Recovery Posts: 3,342	Grace for the Moment ---Max Lucado Fear and Faith (September 9) About midnight Paul and Sialas were praying and singing songs to God as the other prisoners listened. ACTS 16:25 Great acts of faith are seldom born out of calm calculation. It wasn't logic that caused Moses to raise his staff on the bank of the Red Sea. It wasn't medical research that convinced Naaman to dip seven times in the river. It wasn't common sense that caused Paul to abandon the Law and embrace grace. And it wasn't a confident committee that prayed in a small room in Jerusalem for Peter's release from prison. It was a fearful, desperate, band of backed-into-a-corner believers. It was a church with no options. A congregation of have-nots pleading for help. And never were they stronger. At the beginning of every act of faith, there is often a seed of fear. ---In the Eye of the Storm

10-27-2007, 09:30 AM	#11 (permalink)
best Don't get undies in a bunch Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: South Shore MA Posts: 7,161	Psalm 119: 98 Your commands make me wiser than my enemies, for they are ever with me. 99 I have more insight than all my teachers, for I meditate on your statutes. 100 I have more understanding than the elders, for I obey your precepts. 101 I have kept my feet from every evil path so that I might obey your word. 103 How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! 104 I gain understanding from your precepts; therefore I hate every wrong path. 105 Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. We want to know the future but God guides us a step at a time. Trust Him and see that He will prove Himself to you "every" time. __________________ * I asked God to spare me pain. God said "No", Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me. Recovery Related Acronym B. E. S. T. = Been Enjoying Sobriety Today?

10-27-2007, 09:50 AM	#12 (permalink)
Hope Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Recovery Posts: 3,342	Moment by moment, I'm feeling better. I spent hours last night in the Word and calling out to God. Right before I went to sleep, I felt a very strong sense of peace surround me. Gods presence was with me and I felt at rest in him. It was comfort for my weary soul.

10-27-2007, 06:16 PM	#13 (permalink)
Lily Grateful Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Midwest Posts: 2,504 Blog Entries: 11	Hang in there. I pray the Lord would open doors no man can open and he would close door no man can close and HE would guide you as you rest in HIM and trust in HIM one day at a time. Blessings in Jesus, Sheila

10-27-2007, 08:06 PM	#14 (permalink)
St_Kurt cunning. baffling. powerful. Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: NY Posts: 183	Hope - I have been exactly where you are Hope and the results have turned out better than I can ever have dreamed. Nearly 2 years ago during my 2nd year of vet school, while studying, I fell asleep on my right hand and damaged my radial nerve. The result: a completely paralyzed hand with no feeling or movement. It dangled at the end of my wrist like a dead piece of meet. (Ironically this type of wrist palsy has the nickname "saturday night palsy" and is typically seen in those who, after drinking too much on a saturday night, fall asleep in a chair with their arm thrown over the back and arrive in the ER on Sunday morning wondering what the hell happened to their hand. In my case however, it was a Tuesday night palsy due in part to a LACK of coffee rather than too much alcohol. ) Because of this injury I was forced to leave vet school for a semester, join the class a year behind mine in the fall, and therefore graduate a year later. It felt like my life was over, that I would never become a doctor, that I was a failure before I'd even begun. I recieved no support at all. My mother wouldn't talk to me (she was drinking and using at the time) and would do things like mail me her "Vet Med Mom" sweatshirt torn up to ribbons with a note that said "You'll never be a doctor. I hate you." I had no money and had to go on food stamps. The vet school was helpful, but I got the distinct impression that they didn't have much faith in me either. But I learned how to draw blood etc. left handed and got a job where I could apply the first year and a half of vet school. Despite the fact that my boss was a mean drunk at work, he was a pretty brilliant vet and I learned a lot in between the verbal beatings. It was wonderful to apply what I'd learned in the real world. When I returned to school, I immediately fell in with my new class and I enjoy them immensely. To be honest, they're a lot more fun that my original class so I'm happy to be with them. I chose to retake my 2nd year fall semester, and rather than feel like I was wasting my time doing something over, it was great. Vet school classes are so difficult that I relished the opportunity to hear and practice the information a second time. Now in my 3rd year I continue to enjoy the fun and comradery of my "new" graduating class. The classes are more interesting and rather than resent the amount of work like my classmates do, having experienced the very real possibility that I might not continue, makes me grateful for everyday I am there. Though things may not have gone as planned when I entered vet school almost 4 years ago, in the end, I think they have gone better. We never know how things are going to turn out. ~SK

10-28-2007, 01:07 AM	#15 (permalink)
dave47 Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: England Posts: 1,731	Sorry you are having a worrying time Hope.Will pray for you,God is always with us. __________________ Into each life some rain must fall,some days be dark and dreary. The Difficult is that which can be done immediately;the Impossible that which takes a little longer.

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10-28-2007, 06:24 PM	#16 (permalink)
Hope Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Recovery Posts: 3,342	I want to thank you all for your support. Your words of encouragement have really helped me. Please keep this situation in your prayers that I can go back to college. Hopefully, I will have some good news soon, God-willing.