I Feel Abandoned By God

[Max.J.Milton]

ive lost a lot in the last 6 months, i moved 100 miles away from all my friends and family and the city i lived in all my life, to a tiny hick-town where they dont like outsiders, so i have no friends, no social life and the only job i could find pays appalingly and i have to give my parents half in rent (i live at home still). I can't drive and im having to cancel my test (i broke my foot last week) and it seems like EVERYTHING has been stripped away from me by God. So i started drinking more heavily than before (i was already a serious drinker) and that got me in a rather sticky mess so i gave that up (it'll be 6 weeks on monday) and i also gave up sex and fleeting relationships in an attempt to try and make my life better in God's eyes, and still nothing. There has been no glimmer of hope, ive been to many different churches in my new town trying to find anywhere that accepts me, and completely honestly, they all pointedly ignored my family, at the peace they walked AROUND us to get to other people. Im just so angry and hurt and confused so i started stealing my moms opiate based pain medication again and taking E and smoking lots of dope, which i know isnt helping the situation, but as my mums alcoholic and my step dad's always at work i really dont have anyone or anything.


Not even God.


thanks for reading,
Max x

[cmc]

Hello Max, I'm glad you stopped by the forum. I will address two issues here-one being about recovery and the other about God.
Yes, it's alot you are dealing with but I don't think it's God doing this to you. I have many times tended to blame Him for my troubles too, I think it's a pretty common reaction. The fact remains that we face consequences for the choices we make and sometimes from the choices made by others. Sometimes life just doesn't seem fair and we all go through hard times, but I never have to earn His love or attention, because He loves me unconditionally.
I don't see how you will ever feel good about yourself if you continue to use, and once you stop alot of other issues in your life will improve. Once you are clean and working a program of recovery I think your perspective on alot of things is going to be different.
About this:

an attempt to try and make my life better in God's eyes

If doing the right things were the way to gain God's approval, we would all be in deep trouble because no human being no matter how much they try could ever do that by works alone. That is why Jesus came to die for us- the entire point of the old and new testaments combined explains His divine plan of salvation, forgiveness of sins and promise of eternal life in heaven.
http://www.4stepstogod.com/
I hope you will continue to come here and share with us and I will pray for you.
God bless you.

[best]

Hello Max

God doesn't leave us. He is there through everything you are going through.

As i read your post, I am seeing a lot of... I, and me
I did, I know, I want and then the trying to not do something so to please God and get a result from God.
God doesn't work that way. I stopped doing some things in my life because they are not pleasing to God and in my past I have also tried not doing things in an attempt to get something from God. I found that when I do things or not do things because it is the better choice.. I gain but when I do things trying to gain the Lord lets me learn a little more till I let go and ask of Him.
Our every "need" that we ask for shall be given. Our wants and needs are not always the same. You need a friend to help you through? Jesus is there, you only need reach out to Him. No friends and feel alone? Jesus is and has been there all along...you just need sit and have a talk with Him and then listen for that still soft voice. He is there, we just need listen and have a heart to heart talk with Him.

[Max.J.Milton]

Thanks a lot guys =)

and happysoul, i'm 17, moving out next april to start uni which is a whole other mess.

thanks again, you really made me feel better =)

Love,
Max x

[mike_mass]

Pray, pray, pray

[sneakers]

Originally Posted by Max.J.Milton

ive lost a lot in the last 6 months, i moved 100 miles away from all my friends and family and the city i lived in all my life, to a tiny hick-town where they dont like outsiders, so i have no friends, no social life and the only job i could find pays appalingly and i have to give my parents half in rent (i live at home still). I can't drive and im having to cancel my test (i broke my foot last week) and it seems like EVERYTHING has been stripped away from me by God. So i started drinking more heavily than before (i was already a serious drinker) and that got me in a rather sticky mess so i gave that up (it'll be 6 weeks on monday) and i also gave up sex and fleeting relationships in an attempt to try and make my life better in God's eyes, and still nothing. There has been no glimmer of hope, ive been to many different churches in my new town trying to find anywhere that accepts me, and completely honestly, they all pointedly ignored my family, at the peace they walked AROUND us to get to other people. Im just so angry and hurt and confused so i started stealing my moms opiate based pain medication again and taking E and smoking lots of dope, which i know isnt helping the situation, but as my mums alcoholic and my step dad's always at work i really dont have anyone or anything.


Not even God.


thanks for reading,
Max x

Hi Max God never promised us a perfert life, but he said he would never leave us nor forsake us, so what ever you are going through God is with you just trust him, and for the people at your chruch extend your hand because some times we are all in our heads thinking the wrong things about people just like you are going through stuff maybe they are to you never know what's going on with people unless you open yourself up. I also noticed you said you started drinking and using drugs I am a greatful recovering alcoholic and drug addict and know for a fact that using is not going to solve your problems they only make things worse if you have a sponser you need to call and make meetings and keep posting to the fourm.


Your friend


Sneakers

[toad]

Hey Max, try finding an AA meeting. They will accept you and you might find many who understand what you're going through.

[hamihaha]

You are healthy.
Cherish this time for reflexion. Don't try to avoid lonelyness.
Melancoly is a happy sadness...

[augustine]

I know this is an old thread, but the title of it caught my eye.

I think anyone who believes in God can relate. I think that during these times it seems worse to believe and to feel foresaken than not to believe at all.

There is a concept in the Catholic faith known as "The Dark Night of the Soul". Even if you are not Catholic, I'm sure you've heard of the term "crisis of faith". They are the same thing.

One of the most difficult and wonderful things about these times of crisis, when we feel that God has left our side, is that it does not mean all is lost. When we can not hear Hist voice or feel his presense, what he is really saying to us is "have faith, you are ready".

Life would be much easier if we had regular obvious reminders that he is watching ove us, protecting us, but is it? God is a guide, not a parent. It is not for God to find us friends, give us money, buy us a house. Imanige how terrible it would become if we had to wait for God's explicit permission before we did anything in our lives. Jesus would not be the loving savior that He is but a tyrant!

No. God gives us freedom and with that gift comes all things, including suffering. The Dark Night of the Soul is a step in the path of spiritual growth. It is when we empty our hearts of hubris and ego in His absence, making room for the incredible change this is to come: a total and utter transformation of ourselves and our relationship with God. It is not a negative thing, though it may be frightening, but a good thing. It is truly the path to holiness.

Many great saints have experienced this Dark Night for years, decades even. Blessed Mother Theresa, who many consider to have been a living saint did not experience God's presence in her life for 49 YEARS! A nun, living for nearly 5 decades unable to pray; abandoned as you say, by God.

And yet look at all that she did. And in the end, she is eternally rewarded.

I often wonder if I am in one of these Dark Nights myself at the moment. However as Our Savior tells us, "fear not".

-Dietrich