God gave us freedom of choice...

[Alive]

Even though i have been filled with doubts about my faith, i would just like to say that no matter what happens with my life i live according to my spirit. And in my spirit God is always there. In the past few weeks i've thought about approaching new religions, or more so, learning about the similarities between that same God we all adore in different ways. What i've learned is that he is always there in the same way. He is love no matter what. As our society chooses to see differences instead of those similarities i wonder what am i? I am a 1/6,622,031,111 of this world. Those Chinese women earning 30 cents an hour to carry buckets through tall buildings keep going, and were they born just to endure?...No..they made a difference. They changed the world, somehow they made a difference to our world.Not because they hurt more, but because they are always in God's mind.(like Jesus says in the bible, the comparatives with the birds and people.)

With everyday that passes by, i still wake up looking at my Mary's image by my bedside and everytime i wake up through my insomnia i look at that face and pass my hand through it and say thank you. I know something special is indeed on the other side of life. I don't know if these images of God we have been given are indeed true, but i am quite sure that love is God and God is love and He is on my shoulder every time. Like the known poem says, when i don't see God, it's because he is carrying me through the storm.

I am quite sure now that in the day i do go, he will hold my hand.And even if there's no such thing, i will still rest on ground having lived a life experiencing the worst of feelings being battled by the best of feelings.I have met great souls and many mean souls. But the light always shines through the dark.


A lot of folks go through life without asking the most important questions. I am glad i asked many of them. I am glad that the bible is to me an inspiration but also an interpretation. I am glad that a priest to me is a man and not a saint, and i am glad that i walk on the street trying to believe nobody, who ever that person is, will be any better or worse than me. Whatever i am made of. I am made of matter. And that matter that i am made of allows me to experience a lot of hurt, but at the same time so much love. Imagine what it is to be a human being... We are able to do such great things with a brain ruled by emotions. We are flesh that can help, reach out and learn. We have been given the thrill of life. We are indeed blessed in ways we can not imagine. We have pieces of God's on us. The ability to think is by itself such a beauty. What we do with what we have is the difference. What we do, our choices and the way we look at things is what changes it.

My depression is very much due to my choices. But it's also because i've let myself forget that this society no longer lives for the real reasons why we're here on Earth. All of this is a miracle. With all those planets where living conditions are not plausible we live in a place where providing of life is available. And more, we were given knowledge. Oh God. Who ever or whatever You are you have given us so much. I can't imagine how all this infinity of galaxies has started. It is beyond understanding for now.But one thing is for sure.Something started it. An action started all of this.A choice started that action.

People say we can't change the world. I disagree. I have changed the world. I've been here. I have made a difference just by being born. I have made a difference by saying good morning or walking away from a situation.It's all about perspective. It's all about how we see things. Dwelling or living is the decision.Our amazing minds and our God given freedom gives us the troubles. Such a gift can become a big problem. We sometimes don't know what to do with such a big gift. The gift of choice...


I am one of those people that lives by dreaming. And dreaming is believing. I believe that my spirit is more than chemical reactions that my brain activates. So as i have been complaining how bad my life is, i forget the most important. I was given the freedom to make decisions and that freedom has consequences. That's what freedom is. Just like a country who comes out of dictatorship and has to learn what is the balance of liberation.Living is just that. Learning that "the secret" is just so simple and real and Newton's law is not just the 3rd of physics but my first law. Every action has a reaction.

I wish i was a child again with what i know today. I wish somebody could have shown me what life was about. I wish self love had been my priority instead of people pleasing was my priority.


I am just thinking all is about choice:
do i wake up or not
do i love or hate
do i lower or lift my head high
do i give up or still live

Thank you God for my freedom.

[Max.J.Milton]

...wow. I wish i had your faith.