Hi all,,.

[angelgirl]

Hi,,

Just asking for some prayers tonight.. Not feeling the best tonight, and I have a
doctors appt tomorrow. Finally going, and a bit fearful, and I just wanted to come and ask for some extra prayer to take that fear away.. Maybe no reason for fear at all, but still the fear is there. Heart is racing tonight, just not feeling to well.. Thanks so much..

God Bless all,,
Becky

[rayofsunshine]

Sending prayers right this moment, Becky.

[Grasshopper]

prayers are with you

[Barbara52]

You have my prayers that you know that God is with you and that you let the fear go.

[angelgirl]

Please pray as I am so frightened. I am off to see the doctor, and I have an extreme wheeze in my chest. I am praying to the Lord as I go. I just want to cancel, and for it to go away. I am so frightened,. That horrible smoking.

Love you all
Becky

[deedee]

(((Becky)))

Thinking of you and sending prayers

[Barbara52]

You continue to be in my prayers.

[angelgirl]

I didn't go.. I changed my appt. I shouldn't have even posted until after, but I really wanted to go.. Because I have cancelled before.

It came down to chickening out. As many of you know, I am very afraid of doctors,
since my mothers death. This is no excuse, I know that, and I had been going to the doctor fine, about 6 months ago, but then I hadn't had a reason to go for about that long, and it seems that the fear is stronger than ever. But that is probably because of what is going on with me.

Thanks so much for listening. I am going to talk to my Pastor tomorrow, at my group. I would appreciate prayer, for fear, and for healing of whatever is going on in me, and one more please, I know I have talked about this before a zillion times, and you may all be tired of it, but I have yet to quit smoking, and they are going. I am going to stop. I don't want to lose my life to those terrible things.

Can anyone who stopped smoking please give me some encouragment,, tell me how you did it..

Thanks so much..
Love you all
Becky

[best]

Becky

Try again on getting to the Dr and as for stopping the smokeing...we just need to keep trying untill we get there.

You know my prayers are already there for you.

[angelgirl]

Thanks so much for your understanding Best. I need to talk about it when I get either anxious, or I get sick, due to my fear of the doctor. I just have such a hard time dragging myself there. Then often when I do, I don't tell him what's really wrong, I don't want to know the truth of what is really wrong with me, meanwhile my health is getting worse.

I really want/need to get some things off my chest. I need to open up about my life.
Things have been changing, and if I want them to continue to change, I need to talk about the way I have lived. It will be "in the open",, at least in my eyes it will be. I will be able to talk about it, and that is a good thing.

I quit my job in 2003,, due to my addiction,, I was given a choice to quit or be fired..
I quit,, due to my pride, sick pride..

But,, I want to admit that in the past 4 years, I have really spent most of my time, doing nothing at all, besides sitting here at the computer, and smoking. I have had short streaks that I would try to get interested in something, but it would never last. I didn't even do a good job of taking care of my children, or the house,. My kids have lived in a bit of a mess. I am so sad about all of this, I feel extremely guilty over this also,, and I am now in the process of changing it. But I can not take away the almost 4 years of sitting here. Not only have I spent all that time,, and $$, on smoking, filling my lungs, and sad to say their lungs with smoke, ( no I didn't smoke outside, I made them suffer too) We also lost alot of time that we could have spent doing things together. I know I can't go back and change the past,, but I can do things different in the future. I have already begun to change alot. I have been cleaning, cleaning, and cleaning.. I have 4 years worth.. This is so embarrasing for me to admit, theres that pride again..!!! I need to do away with that.
I haven't taken care of myself, I have gained about 30lbs. My lungs are in dire shape.
I can't change that. But I can stop smoking, I pray... Please pray for me.. I really need help with this, it has been a real struggle for me..

But I was listening to a program, and it was on idols,, and I know God hates Idols,,

Definition from the dictionary
1. an image or other material object representing a deity to which religious worship is addressed.
2. Bible. a. an image of a deity other than God.
b. the deity itself.
3. any person or thing regarded with blind admiration, adoration, or devotion: Madame Curie had been her childhood idol.
4. a mere image or semblance of something, visible but without substance, as a phantom.
5. a figment of the mind; fantasy.
6. a false conception or notion; fallacy.

Well, I feel that both number 1 and number 3 qualify for what I have been doing.
I also wonder if smoking is under idols for me??

I never want to upset God. I want to live a good life, I want my kids to learn to live well, and with Christ as their savior. But I haven't been living a way to teach them this. Life is changing. All I want now is to serve the lord.

Thanks for listening. This hasn't been easy for me,, yet it has been a lift off my spirit. I needed to talk about it,, I can come and look back whenever I feel I am beginning to slip..

I do hope some of you understand,, Please pray for me, and my family.. Thanks.
I love you all,,
Becky

[Grasshopper]

My prayers are with you and your family.
I know that left to my own thoughts,no matter what my health,there was no way that i could stop smoking,alone.No way.And the more guilt trips,worry,stresss,over my health,still i could not stop.Id set a date to quit,then worry about quitting,that i smoked even more.
I prayed,this little prayer and it Worked for me,and still does,...Please dear Jesus,give me that phyic change,that i need to quit smoking.I dont have it.,unless you give this to me.,Through Jesus,i can do all things,only through His grace.Amen.

[best]

Originally Posted by angelgirl

My lungs are in dire shape.
I can't change that. But I can stop smoking,

You can change that and what we think is dire shape is just our lungs and body giving us a warning...stop.
When we stop our lungs start to heal...That day. The sooner we stop, the easier it is for our lungs to heal.

As for idols...
Anything we put in place before God can be seen as an idol.
I can't tell you if your smoking is or isn't...you would need look at things yourself and find that answer.

[angelgirl]

Thanks so much for responding, I'm sure knowing how to respond t such a post
wasn't even easy. I really laid it out... But I am changing, my life is changing. No more days spent sitting here,, in front of the computer, or depressed and smoking up a storm. I had begun walking more often again, liek I used to,, eventually I hope to be able to walk as far as i used to,, and the house is taking some time to clean, but that is to be expected,, but I am getting there. I have moved my smoking outside, that has cut it drastically so far,. I have made some real positive changes... Through Jesus Christ all things can be done.. I will get through this..

I appreciate your prayers.
Thanks so much for taking time.
You all mean so much to me.
Becky

[cmc]

{{{Becky}}}