Troubled mind.

[namommy]

I was reading the Bible tonite. I was reading the Beatitudes and the Laws. I started questioning why would Jesus have mercy on me. I am not meek, I am not pure, I have broken God's laws over and over. Why should Jesus take mercy on me?

How do I know if Jesus accepts my pentitance (spelling).? Some days I feel filled with the Holy Spirit, and others I question if I am worthy of recieving his grace.

What do I do, and how do I know?

I know in my heart that I want Jesus in my life and I want to be saved, but how do I do it, and how do I know if Jesus has accepted me?

I've lived a life of sin. Why should a street junkie and a prostitute be given grace? I know that Magdalene was penitent and forgiven, but she was there with him. She washed his feet with her tears as a sign of her sorrow and penitence. What can I do?

I am full of fear right now. Fear that perhaps the things I've done are beyond forgiveness. I hope not. Please pray for me. Petition the lord on my behalf.

I feel so good and peaceful and full when I feel his presence. But, times like this when I am not sure the hole that I feel in my heart is painful.

I hope I am not driving you all crazy with my questions, but I am so unsure, and lacking knowledge. I need your help and guidance.

Thanks.

[rozied]

First off let me introduce myself. My name is Diane & I only have been posting on this forum a short time so we don't know each other. I was raised Roman Catholic & lost my faith in God & became an agnostic when I was 5 yrs old. I didn't know the term agnostic I only knew I felt as if there was a God he didn't know I existed. My grandma believed in Jesus with all her heart & always told me he answered prayer. I had a sister born when I was 3 that was profoundly retarded but I knew none of that then ( she had Cerebral Palsy ) I just knew my family was crying all the time & when I asked my mom she said she didn't do what she was suppossed to/.............she meant developmentally but again I didn't know that then. All I know is I prayed & prayed for Jesus to heal her & when He didn't I felt like if there was a God He didn't know I existed. I went on like that until I was 27 & had a divorce under my belt & 2 sons to raise by myself. I was going to college & felt so lost & messed up & that was the time when everyone was saying Let Go And Let God so I do remember crying out one lonely nite to God I said " God if you realy exist You run my life from now on. I have made such a mess of it, if You really are there You run things for me from now on " I went to sleep & forgot all about it till a few mts later when things were better & a friend reminded me of the " prayer " I had said.
On Sept 10th of that yr I was tutoring Pathophysiology to a fellow student. I was teaching a science thing called The Krebs Cycle. While teaching this I saw unity in the whole Universe & realized there really was a God. I did not know any scripture being raised Roman Catholic and the friend I was teaching told me that only through the son can you come to the Father...there is a scripture that actually says that & I hadn't known that when this happened to me. It was then I knew that I knew that there was a God. I am not sure if telling you this can make you see how very profound this was for me but it changed my whole life.
I remember feeling like you do now that how could God forgive me for all the very bad things I had done & believe me I had done absolutely some of the worse things there are.
I considered myself a born again Christian for many yrs & still do though I now attend a Catholic Church when I do go & believe me its rare I get to church. I do watch on TV but I feel I should go but thats my problem not yours I am getting away from my point. When I first came to Christ, I sometimes felt like Jesus could not forgive me. Then one day I was praying & it came to my mind that if I didn't really believe Jesus had forgiven my sins I was actually calling My Lord & Saviour a liar because He said He did forgive me & He actually died on a cross for my sins & the sins of the whole world. I realized that what I had was false pride & I wasn't being humble at all I was saying I knew more than my God cuz He ALREADY SAID I WAS FORGIVEN. I was actually putting myself above GOD HIMSELF If God said He forgave me & I couldn't forgive myself I was saying I was smarter or bigger than God, The God who created the whole Universe!!! Boy how our limited mind thinks sometimes.
The Lord has said you are forgiven. If you have accepted Christ as your Lord & Saviour then you are a child of God & He doesn't even see our old sins. Scripture says The Old self passes away when we recieve Christ as our Lord and we are now a new creation in Christ Jesus.
Honey its when you don't feel Him He is carying you!!!
God Bless You
Love,
Diane
PS Have you said the Sinners Prayer??? It is usually found in the back of some bibles or in the tracks people give out. You know once I was at a Healing Mass. There was a priest there that had the gift of healing. I had gone there for prayer for my back. I went up to be prayed over & when this priest laid hands on me he spoke as if Jesus Himself were speaking through this priests body & He said " My Beloved daughter in whom I am well pleased why do you always pray for everyone else yet you have never once asked to be healed yourself" I was crying & very shaken by this & went bk to my pew & started thinking that I really had not once in all the yrs I was suffering with my bk prayed for myself to be healed. I had had bk problems for 18 yrs at this point & had had 7 bk operations & still was in pain all the time. I was also bent in half & could not walk without a rolling walker. I right then prayed to Jesus & asked Him to heal me. Now I did not have one of those instant healings like some people do but 2 yrs later I had my 8th bk operation & this time I had a Spinal Revision. I am now ok & not bent in half anymore & just about totally out of any bk pain. I can walk unaided & from doing practically nothing I can do just about everything again. I have not felt this good since before Dec 1 of 83 when I got hurt at wk & at that time I already had had 2 laminectomys. I didn't even remmber that priest or the healing mass until a few mts after my surgery when I found a card in my wallet with this priests picture on it. Then I remembered & have been praising God ever since.
Thats why I asked have you prayed the Sinners prayer with someone? If not you definitely should.

[cmc]

namommy,
If you don't know that you are saved... then you DO need to understand and say the Sinner's Prayer as rozied suggested. What she shared about knowing what you believe is exactly right. If I say that 'maybe' I am or not forgiven...then I am saying that I don't really believe and trust in what Christ did on the cross. You need to understand for yourself what the bible has to say. Here is a link to some great information about how to be saved:

http://www.gotquestions.org/sinners-...FQOnQQodBQr0Gw

[best]

Originally Posted by namommy

I was reading the Bible tonite. I was reading the Beatitudes and the Laws. I started questioning why would Jesus have mercy on me. I am not meek, I am not pure, I have broken God's laws over and over. Why should Jesus take mercy on me?

All are sinners...All have fallen short of what it takes to get into heaven.
Why would God love a sinner such as me?
Why do you reach out and help others Laurie?
Why do you put so much of your efforts and time into helping people through NA?
If you who are but a human with human faults can love others as you do...How much more does Jesus who is perfect in love, love You?

How do I know if Jesus accepts my pentitance (spelling).? Some days I feel filled with the Holy Spirit, and others I question if I am worthy of recieving his grace.

What do I do, and how do I know?

We can't buy our way into His heart. We are already there.
What can we do? Nothing.
Jesus did it all.
Romans 6:23b ...but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord
Romans 10:9
If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

The mouth speaks what is in the heart. Does your heart believe that Jesus is Lord and God? You say you want Jesus in your heart and life. What is missing?

I know in my heart that I want Jesus in my life and I want to be saved, but how do I do it, and how do I know if Jesus has accepted me?

His word says that He does. Trust Him at His word and accept the truth of His word into your life.
Jesus loves you and just by saying Yes Lord I accept... you are on your way.
Just as the steps used in NA say...
1) I have a problem (we admit the need)... I am a sinner.
2) I can't do anything about my problem. I am powerless.
3) Seek a solution outside ourself. Jesus I need You and accept You as my way past my problem.

Beyond the first three steps of NA we start to learn how to live a proper life. Same lessons of life are found in God's word.

I've lived a life of sin. Why should a street junkie and a prostitute be given grace? I know that Magdalene was penitent and forgiven, but she was there with him. She washed his feet with her tears as a sign of her sorrow and penitence. What can I do?

The same thing she did... accept His forgiveness and know that you are "Fully" forgiven with asking and turning from the old sinfull ways.

I am full of fear right now. Fear that perhaps the things I've done are beyond forgiveness. I hope not. Please pray for me. Petition the lord on my behalf.

Our every sin...yes even "that" one is forgiven. I know this fully in my heart Laurie.
Can I petition the Lord for you? I can pray and ask that He help you see more clear what you already know but just as the person who is still out there using...can you stop for them? Nope...they must step out with a humble heart and stop for themself.
Believe with faith. Accept with a trust of Jesus and know that He loves you beyond measure and does forgive us 100% when we seek and accept His free gift of grace and mercy.

I need your help and guidance.

Thanks.

We are here when we can be but there is one who is always there and will help and guide you every moment of every day.
Jesus through the Holy Spirit is with you always. Ask Him for the help and guidance so you can know that what we tell you is true.

[angelgirl]

Hey Laurie,,

I am just trying to learn to just read the bible, and stop the doubt from coming.
Because that's what it's about, at least for me. We just have to have faith.
Reading the ible is the best thing you can do for yourself, and you are doing that.

Anxiety leads to questions, lots of questions. I struggle with alot of anxiety at times,
and so I do struggle at times with alot of questions. I begin to question God, especially during times such as that, when I am suffering. But when times are better, I don't question as much. I need to stop the questioning when I am struggling and just believe all the time. This is my prayer for myself. We are humans..
We will never fully understand God..

God loves us all, no matter what we have done,, it's whether we choose to follow him or not, and to trust him,, or not. I need to remind myself of that at times. Especially when things get harder.

My prayers are with you,,
Becky

[Grasshopper]

When i asked similar questions,my spiritual adviser asked me to read about the apostels lives.Paul,Peter,,etc..Peter denied Jesus 3 times,and yet he to was forgiven.And through these folks,Jesus,spoke through them,as written in The holy bible.He chose sinner,s,like me,to follow Him,and spread His Word.All of us fall short.
Why should Jesus take,mercy on me?
I dont know why He should,i just know that He does.

[rozied]

God gives mercy to us because of Jesus's blood that was shed when He died on the cross. No we will never understand the whole thing as long as we are in these human bodies BUt oneday when we come face to face with The Lord all will be understood. While we are alive we must take everything on faith & according to Jesus you only need faith as little as a mustard seed.
My prayer for everyone today is that they trust what the Lord has said with all their hearts and they lean not to their own understanding................I am paraphrasing what Jesus Himself told us while He was here on this earth.
I pray everyone has a blessed day.
Love,
Diane

[cmc]

Laurie,
I wanted to add something that I heard on the radio yesterday. Chuck Swindoll was speaking about doubt and I can't remember if he was quoting someone else or if he actually said this: "Doubt is the raw side of honesty."
You can listen to this broadcast on the computer. Alot of people think doubt is evil, but in some ways that is not true. If I don't doubt, then I have not really become sure of what is true. Doubting causes me to search for the truth and once I find it...nothing can cause me to waver. Keep searching and being honest as you have been here, and keep asking questions. God will lead you to know Him in a more intimate way than you ever thought possible.

[serina]

These are the same issues i have been struggling with myself.

[serina]

Namommy,
do you have a "celebrate recovery" group anywhere in your area? Some people on this forum attend. its a 12 step group for Christians. I went to my first one last week and i can't wait to go back this week. do a google search and see if there is one in your town. i don't actually attend this church but half the people there don't go to that church but just come on friday night to CR.

let me know if you have one near you.

[serina]

my counselor today said "God knows we are broken and we run from him". She wants me to think that our attempts to pray or reach out to Him actually come from Him because we would't reach out on our own. i wish i could remember all she said. i'm going to keep reflecting on it. i wish we could have a Bible study on here with this topic.

[namommy]

Thank you all. Once again I find myself sitting here with tears in my eyes.

First, I don't know the sinners prayer. Where can I find it. I have heard of it before, but I don't know it.

second, Stress. Stress has been my closest friend for a long time now. When I get tired and start to let the stress win, I get weird. I got weird last night.

Third. there is a group in my area called "Recovery Through Christ". I am not sure when and where they meet, but I do know someone who can tell me, and i plan on calling her tonite (if I can get her phone number from someone).

I've spent alot of time praying and meditating, and reading not just the Bible, but other literature as well that can answer some of my questions.

And, I Thank God for all of you.

[serina]

NAmommy,

here is a link to the sinner's prayer. This is a good website. There is a link where they will send you free materials as well. some others may be here with more information.

http://www.billygraham.org/SH_StepsToPeace.asp

also check out www.insight.org

I have ordered a book on there under "encouragement" called clearing away the trash of the past. he has some messages you can listen to online. listen to the one on shame.

[cmc]

namommy,
I left you a link that has the sinner's prayer, did you take a look? I had some trouble accessing that link just now so I copied the text here for you just in case you couldn't get it either.
http://www.gotquestions.org/sinners-prayer.html
What is the sinner's prayer?

Question: "What is the sinner's prayer?"

Answer: The sinner's prayer is a prayer a person prays to God when they understand that they are a sinner and in need of a Savior. Saying a sinner's prayer will not accomplish anything on its own. A sinner's prayer is only effective if it genuinely represents what a person knows, understands, and believes about their sinfulness and need for salvation.

The first aspect of a sinner's prayer is understanding that we are all sinners. Romans 3:10 proclaims, "As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one." The Bible makes it clear that we have all sinned. We are all sinners in need of mercy and forgiveness from God (Titus 3:5-7). Because of our sin, we deserve eternal punishment (Matthew 25:46). The sinner's prayer is a plea for grace instead of judgment. It is a request for mercy instead of wrath.

The second aspect of a sinner's prayer is knowing what God has done to remedy our lost and sinful condition. God took on flesh and became a human being in the Person of Jesus Christ (John 1:1,14). Jesus taught us the truth about God and lived a perfectly righteous and sinless life (John 8:46; 2 Corinthians 5:21). Jesus then died on the cross in our place, taking the punishment that we deserve (Romans 5:8). Jesus rose from the dead to prove His victory over sin, death, and hell (Colossians 2:15; 1 Corinthians chapter 15). Because of all of this, we can have our sins forgiven and be promised an eternal home in Heaven - if we will just place our faith in Jesus Christ. All we have to do is believe that He died in our place and rose from the dead (Romans 10:9-10). We can be saved by grace alone, through faith alone, in Jesus Christ alone. Ephesians 2:8 declares, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God."

Saying the sinner's prayer is simply a way of declaring to God that you are relying on Jesus Christ as your Savior. There are no "magical" words that result in salvation. It is only faith in Jesus' death and resurrection that can save us. If you understand that you are a sinner and in need of salvation through Jesus Christ, here is a sinner's prayer you can pray to God: "God, I know that I am a sinner. I know that I deserve the consequences of my sin. However, I am trusting in Jesus Christ as my Savior. I believe that His death and resurrection provided for my forgiveness. I trust in Jesus and Jesus alone as my personal Lord and Savior. Thank you Lord, for saving me and forgiving me! Amen!"

[namommy]

I added that sight to my favorites, and I will check it out more later on. When I did a google search of the sinners prayer last night that sight came up.

I did say the prayer, and I talked to my friend in Tenn. (she is saved and in recovery also) and both helped alot.

Thanks.

[best]

Laurie

The words you use are a guide. Look it over to find meaning and purpose. What is in your heart is what truly matters and with knowing you and with what you have posted for questions... Your heart is in the right place. *HUG*

[namommy]

I have a prayer to Jesus that I say every day. Sometimes several times a day. The words speak to me, and I feel them. I don't have them memorized yet, but I read the prayer. Even on the train.

I also believe in praying to the saints, and it is part of this prayer. Is it OK to post it on here?

[best]

Yes you can if you like.

[namommy]

Here is the prayer I say every day.

"O most loving Jesus, give me an earnest will to forsake all evil, and to return to Thee, my chief good, to repent of my sins out of true love, to guard against them for the future, to shun the occasion by which I have hitherto been enticed into sin, and by the practice of good works to redeem the time lost. Grant me this, O Jesus, by Thy bitter passion and death, and through the intercession of the holy penitent Magdalen. Amen"

I love this prayer.

[Cynay]

Holy Cow....

I dont have any prayers like that namommy, mind if I borrow it???

I just get up and start talking to him.... If Im cranky I grouch at him.... if Im happy I thank him.... If Im sad I tell him all my problems and ask for help... Mostly though I ask him to fill me with the holy spirit today and that it is his words through me... cuz if I thought it was only me I would panic here on SR.

Thank you for sharing that.

[namommy]

I do all the other stuff too, the talking, the cranking, the whining, but I also incorporate some 'formal' prayer into my day as well.

A prayer isn't mine to lend, it belongs to everyone.

I did alot of praying today. Mostly this morning on my way to work, just asking for the ability to go through my day with a smile on my face and in my heart. And I had a pretty good day. Thanks God.