mad at God

[chero]

Well, some of you might know I had a meltdown last night. (I usually post on the friends and family forum).

Something in me snapped...I feel better tonight than I did then. You know how you feel when you are just getting over the flu...better but weak and tired...that's how I feel.

But, I have some questions that I need a christian perspective on. I was talking to someone (a christian on SR) and I realized how angry I am at God.

I know better, too. But when I married, I believed with all my heart I was marrying the person God chose for me. So now that my marriage seems to be crumbling around me....well, I'm angry about it. I feel let down...forgotten.

What was the point of all this?

I know God. I understand Him and YET, I can't reason this out in my mind.

How do I let go of the anger?

[cmc]

Chero,
I've been there myself, feeling anger towards God, and it's not a good place to be. One time in particular I remember being so let down and questioning my faith, when my husband gently told me 'don't turn away from your one true friend'...with no judgement he (hubby) accepted me with all my pain and reminded me of Who is my true best friend-The Lord.
We had both been through a very hard time when one of our children had been diagnosed with a serious condition. She had come very close to dying and my faith was shaken- plus those around me were saying things that they had no business saying. Things like- it will be okay and /or blaming us in 'spiritual ways' for her being sick. It was not going to be okay-she was not healed and we all suffered so much.

I know God. I understand Him and YET, I can't reason this out in my mind.

How do I let go of the anger?

We 'think' we understand Him, but on this side of eternity will never fully understand Him. We have the scriptures to teach us and we have our faith.
For me in the situation I described- it took some time and gradually I came around and was ready to face things. You have been through some very intense emotions and experiences and it takes time and staying close to Him in order to be healed inside and for things to be set right in your heart.
The anger will go away when you are ready- He has some big shoulders and is patiently waiting for your emotions to subside and the knowledge and faith you have to kick in. This part is up to you.
I have read some excellent books about these things and if you are interested pm me and I will try to get the names/authors for you. Phillip Yancey, James Dobson and Steve Brown have all written on the subject of suffering and when things don't make sense according to what we believe is right.
Things will get better-
We have to go through tough things but He is with us ALWAYS.
I'm so happy that you are posting and reaching out- you are such a special person and I know that God has great things in store for you.
I'm praying for you,
hugs,
cmc

[karlee]

I was very angry for a long time because of many things..I was mostly mad at him because I had 2 babies die.One died at 9 weeks of age and the other was a full-term stillborn. I was told by my Christian couselor to tell God that I was angry at him..to tell Him how I was feeling. It is okay to tell God that your angry, upset, confused, and so on...I felt so much relief after talking to God about everything including me being so angry with Him..It was like a ton of weight tooken of my shoulders..God alreadys knows our thoughts and feelings..He understands that we are only human..He will understand...

[best]

And Job said... It would be better I was never born but even in his anger and pain, he never stopped understanding who God is.

You could paraphrase Job.... Hey this hurts so much I wish I was never born

...but even in his pain he knew and remembered who God is and never rejected Him.

[IO Storm]

I believe with all my heart and being that being honest with

God about "how you feel about Him" is the first step in

working through it. He already know you are angry...and

questioning. Do not be afraid to lay it all on the altar.....

everything...all you fears, anger, questions, ...as cmc said...

He has great big shoulders and can take it. He desires an

honest and open relationship with us, his children. He is not

like human beings who reject or scorn us....his love and mercy

are from everlasting to everlasting.

Talk with the Lord...Chero, about everything and your answers

are already on the way.

Love,

:

Sherry

[chero]

Thanks you guys.

I guess the anger kind of caught me off guard.

I'm really questioning my plans for the future. Part of me wants to run screaming from this life, part of me thinks I should still hold out hope, part of me thinks I shouldn't divorce and just try it apart for awhile.

I hate having to make these decisions....

[Grasshopper]

My personal experience if i may.Keep in mind that God works in many ways and in mysteries ways.So my experience,is how God has worked in my life.How He will work in your life i dont know..
When in doubt--dont.I handed it all to God,living one day at a time.Eventually,through prayers,and my relationship with Him,,,answers came.I knew what to do,or not,to, do given the case.When i make decisions,when im upset,confused,and without prayer,those decisions,were not wise,ones.I let go,let God.I share my pain with folks,and just keep praying.Answers come in Gods time,i cannot rush them.
My prayers are with you.Be still and know God,let your mind rest in His grace.Peace be with you always.God Bless,

[chero]

Thanks G.H.

I think it all boils down, for me, to whether or not I trust Him. Just letting go and letting Him.

Yeah, I do believe that is the point of decision for me right now....

[cmc]

Just like when the Israelites were fed with heavenly manna, they received just enough for each day and no more. When I am in a wilderness experience it's the same for me. God gives me strength one day at a time...sometimes one minute at a time.
He draws us closer in hard times so we will depend on Him and realize His great love for us has been there all along- no matter what happens or how things seem.
Details will fall into place in the time and the way they should, I just have to have faith to wait and trust.
Like IO said "lay it all on the altar." After that is done whatever it is belongs to Him.

[Cynay]

I know how hard it is Chero.... and you have to remember

Change is scarry and often it really hurts.... I call it growing pains.

Hope, Faith and Love.... and the greatest of these is Love....

Sometimes I think that when he shapes us, teaches us it is these three areas that it hurts the very most. If your anything like me I would rather fight him for what I dont really want then accept what he gives me that I need. To accept what is today and have the faith that God knows what Im doing and will never lead me wrong. Love is not a bed of roses... It requires change, patience, forgiveness and it can be darn scarry to lay yourself open .... and when you truely believe in what you are doing and it fails... you get hurt/angry.

You have to remember though ... its not just you, it is not just onesided and the other person has free will too... You can force your will or Gods will on someone that does not want it....

Keep strong and have faith and hope.... Love comes in many feelings.

[The_Hammer]

It's alright to be mad at God. He's got big shoulders. What we can't do is blame God for our mistakes, or for the crap we got into, or for the position we find orselves in. All of that is part and parcel of the disease we suffer, yes, "we". You may not be the drunk, but ya got sick from bein around one. The disease is not respector of Nouns, not just persons. A lot of times, we wanna ask; "why?" Well, I say, "Why not?" What maskes us so special? Millions and millions suffer like dogs every day. Starvation, war, innocents being shot by gang crossfire (just happened 3 blocks from my house last month-could have just as easil been my little girl). All of this is prevalent to mankind and we're not exempt from our humanity. Best got it nailed when he brought up Job. Bad stuff happens to good people, and for reasons we often don't understand. Don't stay in your anger, through prayer and meditation, get to the root of it and clear the air with the Savior.

[chero]

You are right Hammer...I did get sick being around a drunk. I guess?!?! Hmm....I wonder if I was a little sick to begin with, though.

Oh, well, guess it doesn't matter.

Truth is, I think I keep coming back to this phase in my life...anger at God.
I don't know why??? I guess I haven't let it go.

Hmm....everyone is so right....

I feel like Job sometimes...Jobella! Sometimes it's all I can do to crawl out of the ashes. I hadn't thought about Job acknowledging his anger, though.

That is interesting....
I'm off to think....